Is it too much for my 6 year old DD ? Homework.

[isittoomcuh]

DD is a bit behind in writing and maths. So I’m trying to get her to practice for 10-15 minutes every day.

is this too much for a 6 year old ? She’s starting to really hate it. We have some simple worksheets she works through. She also does her reading most days.

sometimes she writes stories or we play maths games and stuff like that.

It was fine initially but now she’s getting upset and doesn’t want to do it and does it wrong when she’s in a mood so I just tell her it’s fine and to leave it.

I don’t want her falling too far behind at school but I don’t want to ruin her love for learning either but I’m finding it hard to strike a balance. I don’t think she should be getting upset and not wanting to do her work. But equally I need to find a way to practice with her / improve her writing especially.

We had more success with doing stuff at the breakfast table rather than after school.

Though your best bet might be to do this in the summer holidays, holiday diary etc. You can achieve a lot in 6 weeks with a star chart and rewards.

A few thoughts. If she’s upset she’s not learning anyway so no point in forcing it
try extra work in the morning rather than the evening
10-15 m is a very long time for a tired struggling six year old
worksheets are for school , if you want to do extra get her to write your shopping list or a card to granny

Year 1 (or 2?) Is just absolutely exhausting for children. It is really a heavy day of formal learning and following instruction.

I would encourage play and relaxation and maybe fit in a bit of reading at bedtime

I dont believe 6 year olds can really be behind by the way. That's just our rigid system.

I think if it's turning into a battle then it is too much for your child.

Why not introduce maths and writing in more fun ways? Things like cooking and board games are great for maths concepts and you ask her to keep a diary or write a letter to Granny rathe than doing worksheets (my child would still have objected though).

At 6 years old she is also very much not "falling behind"

How do you define falling behind?

Keep up the reading every day. DC to read the school book even just 3 or 4 pages if they are not big and you read a bedtime story to teach wider language and inference in stories. Discuss the story - what happens next? What do you think? Let's wait and see tomorrow night - type conversations. My DD is dyslexic so won't read for her vocabulary and understanding of words is much better than her peer group.

Maybe find an app to teach times tables - making it fun really helps. Do school have Times Tables Rock Stars? This literally takes a couple of minutes and you can then test when out for a drive/walk/shopping and making it fun.

I was one for only following the homework school set and not finding our own otherwise you might be trying to do something they've not learned yet.

6 is really young - I’m not sure starting school so early in the UK is a good thing. If she’s getting upset it’ll be an uphill battle that won’t get you far.

I would try and help her through play instead - look up 5 Minute Mum on Insta or get some of her books. She’s brilliant and has loads of quick and easy games that get kids learning without realising.

IMO anything beyond reading is too much for a 6YO after a long day of school.

I’d keep it for the weekend and do like a week diary maybe- we encouraged DD by getting her an instax camera and letting her choose a notebook so she’d take a photo or 2 stick it in then write a couple of accompanying sentences. IDK what her issues are with maths but that’s usually easier to incorporate into everyday stuff fun stuff like cutting a cake for fractions or weighing and measuring ingredients.

I work with this age group. Obviously some children have particular difficulties due to SEND, SEMH and or speech and language issues. But in general, the children who struggle with the work in school have weaker pencil control, limited comprehension and lack confidence with numbers. I would do colouring, play-doh, read exciting stories that they want to hear the outcome of, take them places, listen to audiobooks, do baking and play shops and board games (Orchard games, Ludo, Snakes and Ladders). These are the things I think most of these children need and there isn't time for in the curriculum. I probably shouldn't say this but I think we spend enough time trying to force them to do worksheets!

I think you are going to do more harm than good. The problem is the very real risk you turn your dc off education for many years.

I couldn't agree more!
I always refused to make a fuss about children doing homework in KS1, other than reading at home.

Imo there should be a purpose to learning, preferably linked to the child's interests, so anything involving food, measuring ingredients, cutting pizza/cake/tarts into fractions, also playing board games like snakes & ladders, ludo etc. You can use 2 dice and add or multiply the numbers. Dice can have spots or figures on them.
What about taking orders for Sunday brunch, or similar, from each family member to encourage writing/spelling?
The possibilities are endless with a bit of imagination.

Her biggest issue is writing at the moment, especially writing independently and applying set 2 and 3 sounds to her writing.

she spells things wrong, expected but it’s getting better but she just doesn’t seem to remember how to spell things as fast as they seem to need/ expect her to. She also struggles to remember what she had to write in the first place. But we’ve identified that’s more of an issue at school and in a loud environment, rather than at home. At home she remembers the sentences. We practiced tonight in fact and her spelling wasn’t bad either and she wrote quite long sentences. It’s all quite inconsistent, which I guess is normal ? She writes some numbers the wrong way and I thought we had nailed it but when she’s tired she still seems to get it wrong. But when not tired and when she wants to do it, she does it well.

I see the aim of home being to allow large amounts of unstructured emotional regulation, play and rest. To let the kids recover from the exhaustion of school and process everything they’ve learned, through playing. That’s how their brain sorts stuff out at this age. Let home be a haven of peace and rest, so she’s ready for school the next day happy and relaxed, and in the best state she can be to learn again.

Tonight my similarly aged DD ran around in the hailstorm in the garden after school for 20 minutes, then came in and watched tv, then ate her tea, then played with a hoola hoop and made a house out of cushions, had a bath then I read her a book and into bed. I read all sorts to her, not school books. She has a desk in the living room she likes sitting at and some days she will just want to sit and write, but many days she doesn’t and that’s alright. She does other things instead. Sometimes we go out walking after school, or baking, or paints. Some nights she plays imaginary games all night, some nights it’s 2 hours of tv. A range of experiences is my aim.

My DD did similar stuff this evening. Very similar. But she also sat down for 10 minutes and did a maths sheet and wrote some sentences.

I am not saying it’s right. But it’s not all evening, 10 minutes on a timer.

Why not do a fun project around something she's interested in. If you are a family that likes castles/ houses, do the history, photos, drawings..with a short paragraph and make a scrapbook. Sport, art, crafts, cars, boats, ...can add statistical information for maths practice etc..how many more people in 2026 visited than 2000..

I teach this age group and I really do not suggest doing yet more work at home. School is exhausting, tiring and the children work hard. Let your child play at home . The only thing I insist my parents do is hear their children read at least five times a week.

You could try doing it in the morning rather than at night if she’s too tired at night. For some kids its about finding that hook that brings them into wanting to do the writing by themselves like “ok lets play restaurants, I’d love to choose what to eat, can you write the menu while I go and load the dishwasher” or something then off they go - absorbed in the game and motivated to write for fun. Or gift her a little journal and a special pen to write with. Or ask her to write a list of unicorn names, or whatever she’s into.
My friends child struggles with reading but she’s found that he loves books about skateboards, so that’s what they read lots of!

@waterrat So you really think at 6 it’s not already fairly clear who is struggling? It absolutely is. By 9 it’s very obvious and of course some dc don’t catch up or they would all get fantastic results. They don’t, because not all have the same intellect.

I would do maths in a fun way. Measuring for cooking. We used to play cards for adding up. Lots of counting games and cutting up cakes into fractions etc. Maybe stick to practical things? Write lists and thank you letters or a diary. Anything fun. These don’t need to be done every day but reading should be.

15 minutes of useful work per night is absolutely fine for a 6 year old.

For me that isn't the problem. Nor is the fact that your daughter doesn't want to do it. Very few children want to study. It isn't as fun as watching TV or playing outside etc. it is 100% normal and healthy for her to prefer and say that she doesn't want to study, and wants to do those instead.

But as a parent, you don't give that option. She doesn't have an option to not go to school, not sleep, not have dinner, not get dressed etc. All of those are required. If you make a bit of studying into one of these requirements, the complaining stops, and it just becomes a regular part of their life, that they accept.

You said though, that when she complains or pushes back, you tell her it is ok and she can not do it.

If you do that, of course she is going to learn that "if I push back and moan, sometimes mummy doesn't make me, and then sometimes I can play more" - so of course she will increase her resistance and show more and more emotion/push back against it.

Make it into a regular part of your routine, as non-negotiable as brushing your teeth.. and within short while you will have no complaints any more.

But if you keep it flexible/optional, most children will always try and find ways of getting the fun option for that evening.

Another vote for reading - it is the base of all learning, powers the writing, and enables the maths questions to be understood when maths gets a both more challenging in year 5 and 6.

Additionally, SATS assess writing, reading and maths, so strong reading and writing scores can pull up the overall score even if the maths score is weaker. These define sets at secondary school.

Furthermore, for the 11+ the reading comprehension skill is essential to decode the questions - an excellent mathematician with poor reading comprehension will struggle, whereas an average mathematician with strong reading comprehension may excel.

Read, read, read.

at this age I did reading etc in the morning with mine as they were just very tired after school. They are fresher in the morning.

How are you defining “behind”? What does her teacher say?

I agree with doing some work at home because my ds has very slow processing so he needs to be ahead in skills so he doesn’t have too much cognitive load in the classroom - ie he has the basics down, so his brain is free to think. Also this year is class teacher is a bit hopeless so he doesn’t get much out of school. He has PLENTY of time to play. Reading + ten mins of work isn’t going to kill his desire to learn.

Last year (Y1) we focused on number bonds and handwriting. This year we are focused on comprehension and writing/spelling.

We play a lot of Monopoly (he was the banker) and dice games and we read (nearly) every day. But yes we do practise in the mornings after breakfast is the best time.

In Y2 ds started TT rockstars thru school - he loves it. He has completely mastered his 2, 3, 4, 5, 10 , 11 multiplication and division facts. He also has spelling shed , Purple Mash and a basic adding/subtracting app.

We let him choose what to do most days - he can pick between a fun workbook based on Minecraft or he can do quizzes I set for him or whatever else I’ve dreamed up but I do make sure if he hasn’t chosen spelling recently we do some practice every now and then. I don’t ONLY do academics - we write cards, learn to draw and practice mouse and keyboard skills and coding etc too sometimes.

He is improving at home but in class he still struggles. His teacher doesn’t get the best out of him, for reasons I can’t fathom.

I do think it’s fine to ask dc to concentrate. He complies because I don’t let him say no, I say “ok but we have lots of time now, if you don’t do it today then it will take longer tomorrow or we have to do it after school so you will miss out some TV time.”

I discovered with headstrong older dd who is academically gifted, that NOT creating a homework habit made things difficult when she had to do spelling practice in KS2.

I also have many Asian friends with happy children doing forced piano and maths tutoring. It’s a very white English thing to believe it’s enough to just play until … when? Age 11?

Oh I forgot I also taught ds chess last year! Recommend that too

Try downloading “hit the button” on your phone and let her play for 10 mins a day. It will see more like a game and less like a slog. I wouldn’t worry too much at age 6 @isittoomcuh