I believe I have deep childhood issues.

[NeedingASafeSpace]

When I speak about my childhood experience, I cry uncontrollably and can’t seem to explain things properly.
I can discuss memories but when I try explaining how I felt as a child the tears come and I cannot stop them. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, although I do some things. When I think back it was not a happy place for me. I am confused as to why.

Have you considered therapy? It might help you unpick exactly where this unresolved trauma is coming from. We often 'blank out' traumatic memories from childhood. Sending hugs and hope you can access some help, start by speaking to your GP 💐

I have just come off the phone to a therapy appointment to figure out how I want to proceed. The options were to either revisit my childhood to figure out a timeline or to focus on therapy which helps me parent, now. I chose how to parent now as the now matters for my children more than what happened in my past, I suppose. Xx

I would try therapy. I had a similar feeling. 2025 was my year of "oh my god" because I had therapy and started opening up.

I have just come off the phone to a therapy appointment to figure out how I want to proceed. The options were to either revisit my childhood to figure out a timeline or to focus on therapy which helps me parent, now. I chose how to parent now as the now matters for my children more than what happened in my past, I suppose. Xx

Breaking the generational trauma would be good. That's why I opted for therapy because I wanted to be a good mum and not pass down my "issues" 💐
I'd focus on you now, and you might find it encompasses a childhood memory timeline anyway (that's what I did!). It's weird how your brain organises memories and emotions when you're in therapy.

take it easy xx

Thank you my dear. I hope you are on the road to healing. You sound like a brilliant mummy. I wish you and your babies all the best

I'm sorry you are going through this. When my daughter feels confused about emotions which are affecting her negatively, I suggest she tries to remember the first time in the past she felt this way and then unpick what was going on leading up to this first feeling to help make sense of any triggers she has.

It might be looking into emdr therapy it's had some great results for individuals dealing with trauma or painful memories they find hard to access.

Yes I second this! I forgot I had this too

I see therapy has already been recommended and I cannot advise it enough.

I started therapy in late 2024 and it had massively changed the way I view myself and view my life.

I have two very young DC and I want to be the best I can be for them. It is really difficult but so worth while. There was a lot of trauma/ neglect/ abuse/ abandonment in my childhood. While I also only wanted to be the best present me and mum I could be, I needed to under stand and change some of my core believes to do that.

I also have a history 'alcohol use disorder' for a few years it was my fall back to deal with life. I now to SMART meetings and listened to 'This Naked Mind' I have chosen to have zero alcohol in my life and it is better for it

Really sorry - this sounds very hard to cope with and it sounds as if you’ve buried your trauma within because it’s too painful.

I've been in therapy for 2 years for a similar reason - I noticed a lot of anger and grief coming up about my own childhood when I became a parent and wanted to avoid passing on the trauma to my children. It's a long, hard road but it has definitely been worth it for my children and my relationship with them.

I have nothing to add with regards to how you can move forward, pp have already suggested different types of therapies.

I would like to say how sorry I am for the emotional pain that you are in. I hope that one day you will be at peace with your life and your past. Sending you (((hugs))) op 💐

Well, it's not an either/or 'focus on parenting now versus explore your own childhood' choice -- unless you only have a strictly limited number of sessions or something?

In my case, exploring my own childhood (CSA, neglect) in therapy was absolutely related to my life now, including how I parent my child.