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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not like my Mum

30 replies

Pinkgorilla101 · 25/03/2026 09:42

Name change for this. Growing up I was never good enough. I was often afraid to do or say anything that would get me into trouble. My sibling on the other hand was the golden child. She did tell me on occasion that she never wanted a girl.
It got worse growing up. I was regularly hit for not doing a lot wrong imo. I still get told what an awful teenager I was. I was pregnant at 20 and she was absolutely horrified and wouldn’t talk to me without screaming. I wanted more children but found out I couldn’t have any so tried IVF. She told me it was unnatural and not to mention it to her.
Once she told me she could kill herself because I was her daughter.
However she has been a wonderful Nan to my child who is now a Father himself. She has been generous financially albeit reminding me every 5 minutes how grateful I should be.
The dilemma is we now live in different countries and she expects to come and visit for weeks at a time. Myself and my husband both don’t like her but I feel like I should accommodate it as she is my Mum. She feels she is entitled to see her great grandchildren as much as she wants. But we feel that it is our turn to enjoy our grandchildren. She has had that with her own.
Sorry for the ramble - I just felt I needed to write it all down

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 25/03/2026 17:05

Do I take it that your grandchildren are male OP?

HisNibs · 25/03/2026 17:33

Honestly OP, why do you keep this woman in your life? She is horrible, everyone knows this. Drop the rope and protect yourself and other family members. Let her stew in her own bile.

SwedishSayna · 25/03/2026 17:59

Why would you like someone who treated you like dirt?

Pinkgorilla101 · 26/03/2026 07:02

Thanks again everyone. To answer a few questions all of the grandchildren and great grandchildren are male. I am the only girl. I don’t know whether she could be described as narcissistic but if you ever try to discuss things she has absolutely no idea what she is doing wrong. She really believes she is the perfect person and could not comprehend any other suggestion. It’s hard to put it into words. If anything happens to upset her perfect little world she just acts like it’s not happening

OP posts:
SpryCat · 26/03/2026 13:56

You can’t discuss or try to reason with a woman like your mum, she evades accountability like the plague. She is very aware of what you are trying to discuss but she makes out it’s simply ludicrous or in your head. She denies your experiences or memories to fuck with your mind as she knows you’d rather give up than cause a rift.

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