You’re not on an episode of The Apprentice

[disappearingfish]

So stop using your phone on loudspeaker when you are in public, especially on 6am trains when everyone is just a little bit tired and grumpy and does not need to hear, loudly and at length, about the funny noise your boyfriend’s dishwasher is making.

Was i unreasonable to tell the woman on my train to use her phone like a normal person?

I despise this! I really think COVID broke what was left of the social contract

Well done, they need to be told. Twats.

You are not being unreasonable at all.

People have forgotten social etiquette and wilfully impose their lives on others.

I agree with @Catsandbikes , COVID broke our already fragile society to the place where many feel now that if you want to do something socially reprehensible, just do it while glaring at the other person and preparing a mouthful of foul language in response.

The worse one is where people have it on speaker phone and hold the phone in front of thier mouth like some sort of landing strip into their gob. Is that some sort of fashion thing. Surely they know how phones work

I don't mind taking 'direct action' over this kind of thing. Leaving a café a while ago, I waved a cheery 'goodbye' over someone's shoulder to the person on the other end of the Zoom call (or FaceTime, whatever) and said "good luck with the application" (I'd spent the last 10 minutes hearing all about it, as I quietly drank my coffee nearby.
I like to think I left them both confused, and with cause for reflection.

Yanbu. I commute daily and have noticed an increasing amount of this behaviour.

The audacity of people to think it’s ok to inflict their conversation on everyone else!

Well done for telling her.

Not unreasonable at all OP. I’ve joined in with conversations before now and given my opinions on whether Janice should leave Darren (she totally should, he sounded like a right waste of space). The person on the phone was quite cross as this was a private conversation and quite confused when I pointed out that if I could hear the whole thing loudly being shouted on a train then it wasn’t that private at all!

You are brave to say something. Its the ones striding along with their phone at a mad angle and with a raised voice that annoy me. They normally swear a lot too, and spoil the atmosphere.
I've never heard anything really fascinating though.

In any other circumstance, I might want to give relationship advice, but at 6am I don’t want to hear about Janice and Darren. It would at least be more entertaining than “it was like a whirrr clunk but sometimes a whirrr click” ad infinitum.

Went to a cafe on Saturday for breakfast. Lovely day, bit of a treat. There were 3 different sets of people doing facetime calls at the tables. They shouted into it at their end and then we enjoyed the stupid tinny noise from the other end. I'm 60. The couples were around my age. We weren't brought up to be 'in other people's faces ' when eating out. When the hell did it happen that we decided this was okay now.

Really annoys me, not least because I think people have picked it up from TV and films, where it's sort of necessary, but absolutely ridiculous in real life. I'm talking specifically about the weird holding it horizontally in front of your mouth thing.

I love that you told her. What did she say?

full phone conversations on the train are annoying enough!

I usually 'mime' them to turn it down with my hand turning an invisible knob. I have no shame

YANBU

Very refreshing to see a Mumsnetter actually doing something about the situation they're complaining about.

As opposed to "I sat there and said nothing and now I'm turning it over and over in my mind, even though it happened 3 years ago" 😁

I’ll bet the OP got a blank look or a shrug. These loudspeaker phone people seem generally oblivious/couldn’t care less.

Yeah it's extremely antisocial. Even just speaking loudly from your end on a phone in public is annoying. Why not speak quietly or text?

I get some people are hard of hearing but they should use hearing aids or headphones or whatever not put their phone on speaker at top volume and yell at the other person?!

I handed my phone to a teen a couple of months ago so he could speak to the person I was talking to. He had absolutely no concept of holding it up to his ear and didn’t understand why he couldn’t hear the person at the other end. I was just mind blown by it

I did walk across the carriage and asked her politely to take her call off loudspeaker. It was insanely loud, and everyone in the carriage was either working or snoozing. She politely said sorry and complied. I got a few grateful looks from other passengers. It was zero drama. We should all do it more. Bring back public realm etiquette!

Sadly the relationship conversation was not dissimilar and also featured a discussion of the noises (and indeed facial expressions) that Darren makes at a crucial moment. That was the point I stepped in to put an end to the conversation.

I ask once for them to turn it down, if they don't i stand or sit beside them and play rule Britannia really loudly until they move.

This is literally my children ( 16y twins ). No concept how to speak on the phone and hold it to your ear. It drives me insane! I will call them and they are out walking, I can’t hear what they are saying, they can’t hear what I’m saying so I’m constantly shouting to put the bloody phone to your ear! They don’t take it off the speaker, just hold it to their ear. I don’t know how this happened because when they were little and played with pretend phone, they hold it to their ear but now, it’s like they are incapable to communicate that way. Anyway rant over

When I rule the world, doing this in public will be punishable by 30 years in prison. Really.

I have asked 2 people to turn their phones down in public. Neither went well.

first was in a hotel lounge. Guy walking around with his phone on speaker. Asked him to turn it down or move away from me. He had a right go at me.

second guy in a cafe prob with grandson toddler had YouTube on? Went to the table and asked him to please turn it down. Ironically he couldn’t hear me. I explained I was with my dad who was hard of hearing - he said “well he can’t hear it then can he?” Eurgh.

I can’t bare it, how’s it come about? How are they benefitted to use the phone like that??

I’ve asked a few people to turn it down (off) and only once had back chat on a bus a few months back but they did actually eventually turn it off. It’s gross, surely no one likes having to hear it?!

I hate this and it's not at all unreasonable to ask people not to do it. Though it tends to be people lacking in social graces who are more likely to give you a mouthful of abuse so I will tend to be a wuss and move away instead.

Perhaps becoming intolerant and more brave in my middle aged because I did snap at someone a few weeks ago who was having a loudspeaker group video chat that went on and on. We stood up to get off the train and I was right behind her thinking thank god I'll be away from that racket in a minute. But before I could stop myself I snapped loudly "why can't you get some earphones?" She looked really shocked and I felt bad for a minute. She looked round at the other passengers I think expecting them to defend her from the nasty lady but they just gave her death stares!