AIBU to be angry he told her to flag down cars?

[LifeSurvior]

My daughter broke down on the M62, massive fog, shite weather, she pulled over to the hard shoulder. Phoned me, I told her to phone RAC, she's a member, no worries, sit tight and wait for them.
She also phoned her Dad and he told her to get out and flag cars down to help her, do not stay in the car..
I'm furious he didn't see the harm he could have put her in..
I know staying on the hard shoulder is a risk but trusting bloody any fucker that happened to stop and pretend to help is surely more risk.
He thinks I'm paranoid.

Did you automatically know everything about motorway driving when you had just passed your test?

It's covered in the theory test and highway code, and my driving instructor made sure I'd had plenty of practice on our local dual carriageways which were motorways in all but name. If he'd not done so and I'd lacked confidence I'd have booked a motorway lesson after my test. Many driving schools offer them at a low rate. My first long solo drive was not long after passing my test, and it involved multiple motorways and a blizzard. I didn't enjoy it, but I coped.

If nothing else she should have known the Do Not Stop rule, the most basic one of motorway driving. If she's so freaked out by poor weather that she stopped on the hard shoulder instead of pulling off at the next junction or services, then I agree, she's not fit to drive without more supervised practice.

She really doesn’t sound ready for motorway driving OP.
She could have got herself killed, or her rescue party! How did she think her car had broken down if there was nothing wrong with it?

Please remind her that if she gets anxious driving on the motorway, she needs to get off at the next junction or go to the nearest services.

How old is your daughter? Is this the first time she's driven on a motorway?

Yes, you can go on the motorway before you have passed your test if you are with an instructor as part of your driving lessons, my daughter definitely did.
Anyway it might be good for her to have some motorway lessons or go out with her Dad more to gain more confidence. She is only learning as you say but calling out the RAC when there is nothing wrong the car and there could be other people waiting to be rescued plus putting herself in danger from waiting on the hard shoulder isn't ideal either.

I'd suggest your daughter do what I did - have a lesson after I passed the test specifically to deal with motorway driving. It was an excellent investment.

I'm so glad she's okay - yes, terrible advice from her father but lesson learned. More important now to ensure she gets some more practice in before putting more people at risk from her driving. Maybe you and her dad can go out with her a few times in different weather conditions to practice before she goes back on the motorway, this will likely actually make her more nervous than she was before.

And yes - I practiced on the motorway with an instructor before getting onto it with my kids in the car. It is a different sort of driving so worth spending some time making sure you know how to navigate it.

The fact that she phoned you first rather than the RAC is probably indicative of the fact she stopped on a hard shoulder because she because overwhelmed with the driving conditions rather than genuinely feeling that her car was broken. We’ve all been there I’m sure - awful weather, fast motorways and feeling anxious. The dangerous and great worry here is that her first instinct was not to find the nearest exit ramp but to STOP in the middle of a motorway on the hard shoulder. Regardless of motorway experience any new/learner driver would have enough knowledge from their written test and lessons to be aware that is a highly dangerous choice. She put herself in serious danger and you need to ensure she knows this. Please take her out (in rainy conditions also) to practice her motorway driving and build her confidence.

Also have your whole family read the advice on what to do when you (genuinely!) break down on a motorway. Both her parents have extremely dangerous poor advice and you DD clearly didn’t know what to be doing herself either.

Yes love, I did, because i studied my highway code and learned how to drive a car in all sorts of conditions before I chose to pass my test!

She could be that driver who one day puts my kids in danger. So I will be as judgy as i like.

Your daughter is a shit driver and needs more lessons and specifically motorway lessons. I would recommend studying the highway code section related to motorway driving.

I absolutely agree that new drivers need to know how to nagivate motorway driving but because that isn't actually taught before they actually pass their test how do you presume they do that?

I thought motorway lessons were now provided to learners provided they have a qualified instructor?

And yes you are an absolute judgy arse..
Most people who pass their test learn actual driving by doing it.
My Daughter is an absolutely fine driver, just the same as you you, she studied the Highway code, she is just the same as you.
Unless you are somehow so superior to the lesser mortals on the road🙄

I did a thing called Pass Plus OP (long time ago mind!). You did a motorway drive and a city centre drive and then got reduced insurance.

Not sure if they do that anymore but you could maybe book her a few motorway lessons to help her feel more confident?

Thanks for that info, definitely didn't know it 👍

I definitely think motorway driving is something you get better at with experience, but if she can do a decent lesson with an instructor she then might feel more confident to go out and do a few journeys on her own afterwards.

I know a few people who are terrified of motorway driving and actively avoid it. I think it’s a good idea to get familiar with a local stretch of motorway and try and regularly hop on and go a few junctions down and come off again. If it becomes part of her normal driving life, she’ll likely find her confidence increases and she’ll be happier going further afield. Also, things like poor weather or very busy conditions won’t stress her out as much if she feels generally more comfortable with the whole motorway thing.

That doesn't escape the fact that she put herself and others in danger OP. I hope stern words were had and not a there there. She's responsible for a heavy machine that can kill people.

Definitely tell her to book advanced training. There's even skid courses these days.

Actually they can have lessons on the motorway before passing. They have to be with an instructor and the car has to be duel controlled.

OP I’m glad she’s ok and it turned out alright in the end but what she did was incredibly dangerous. She put herself and others at risk by stopping on the hard shoulder. You need to make sure she knows how to use a motorway and a dual carriage way safely before she attempts one again. Get her to call her old driving instructor or pay for pass plus.

Getting out of the car is the right advice. Not flagging down other cars but stay behind the barrier. Your advice to stay in the car, in the fog was very dangerous.

You can pay for lessons after you pass for motorway driving, or an experience driver goes out with her and gives tips. Going alone in fog, not the most sensible.

https://www.gov.uk/pass-plus

I did this when I learned to drive and it's very useful.

She didn’t only endanger herself. She endangered her father and anyone else, like the RAC guy, and people in any other car that might have ploughed into her. Motorways are the safest places to drive, so long as you stay in the lanes and keep moving at a speed that suits visibility and conditions, while observing safe distance from the car in front. As has been said, unless it’s a genuine breakdown, you leave at an exit point. There are no blind corners or oncoming traffic doing dodgy overtaking for head on crashes. Everyone going the same way. It’s easy. And I never had a driving lesson , ever. I passed my test first time. We didn’t have any roads where I lived. I used boats to take my kids to school and to go shopping.