AIBU to feel like an imposter here as a woman in my 40s?

[Neulip]

When I post on here as a woman in her 40's (I'm 48) either in reply or making my own posts I always feel as if everyone else here is a proper grown up woman and I'm an imposter like I'm actually too young / inexperienced / naïve / dumb or wet behind the ears and so on and its like I am pulling a flanker even being on here talking to people!

Anyone else feel like this?

I feel like that in life tbh! Like other people, including those younger than me, are proper adults and I’m muddling through.

@MayasJamas Absolutely I totally feel this irl too! I always feel like I'm about to be unmasked as a pretend adult.

It sounds like you have quite low self esteem

Yes this is me, although I'm slightly younger. I suffer so badly with imposter syndrome.

I've never come across "pulling a flanker" before. Thank you for introducing me to a new phrase, oh wise elder.

Could it just be that you’ve had a very nice life so far, or even a very sheltered life, and so you can’t relate to other’s problems and so don’t feel qualified to give advice on such matters?

@decorationday Thank you for the praise, I now feel worthy!

No absolutely not! I've had my fair share of tough knocks!

You’re a similar age to me and I always feel really old on here and assume everyone else is early 30s.

Then you certainly qualify for helping others through lived experiences.

That's because you are a cusper/geriatric millenial like me! We're the Peter Pan generation, much to the disdain of our boomer parents who think we are irresponsible, our gen x older siblings who think we are deeply uncool, and our super serious gen z kids who think we are ignorant 🤣

I don't think I've ever manage to feel old or even wise in my life yet!

Lol, geriatric millennial, I think that makes sense actually like I'm not really either or and perhaps that not quite fitting in to any major cohort causes this feeling?

Gen X I believe is 1965 - 1980. OP falls into this.

Yeah but I think its a common theory that if you are born after 1976 you aren't a true gen x and not quite a millennial but somewhere inbetween, xillennial some say. I think there is some truth to that, not that it is that important but interesting none the less.

(Early) sixties here, most of the time I still feel like a bumbling teenager

I’m a xillennial too. Happy days!

I’m 49 (ok - 2 months off 50) and I’m sure I’m Gen X?
I know what you mean OP and I also have had a few challenges in life, a breakdown not being the worst thing to happen. I will often write out a comment and then discard it for fear of looking stupid etc etc.

In a few weeks I’ll be 50 and, honestly, I thought I’d know a lot more stuff by now! 🤣🤣🤣

I feel the same way...I don't think it's a bad thing tbh.

I question my own judgement and thinking, and try to have a "beginners mind".

Obviously crippling self doubt or second guessing and anxiety is bad

and in real life it may be good to only keep your vulnerabilities and doubts to tested people.

However I think it's good to see ones own advice as a "work in progress ".

Or recognise that you may be acting from your own perspective and emotions, or even any privilege you may have. Or acknowledge that other people may react to situations differently.

Even since my 30s I know I've got more mature and have better intuition and ability to detach and analyse social situations, manage those " fuzzy" areas of life. I hope to continue all my life!

Often relationships and complex social situations aren't binary or black and white.

It's good to believe that there are nuances and no "absolutely" right answers, including ones own.

Just post it. No one knows who you are. You’ll gain confidence as you go. Or realise you’re batshit crazy. Either way, have your say!

@BlueClinches What a bloody marvellous way of looking at it! I am going to adopt that myself and it makes very good sense!

I've suffered from imposter syndrome before. But I've thought about it and that someone else employed me for the job and thought I'd be ok.

However, that doesn't take away from the feeling that somehow everyone else is clued up and knows what is going on and I'm left holding a broken piece of rope and the ship is sailing away.

I’m 45 and feel positively matronly sometimes!

Feel the same way. Also read on here about women in their 40s and I think they're old and have it sorted. Then I remember I'm actually quite a bit older 😂