AIBU to feel unhappy as a TA due to classroom dynamics?

[RollOnSummer2]

Any other TAs really struggling with enjoying their role? Or is it because of a difficult dynamic with the teacher and other TA in my classroom?!
Also any other career change recommendations if you have children and want to be around them as much as possible?

Workplace dynamics can be an issue anywhere.

There's one term left of this year. Hopefully you'll be part of a different team next year.

I felt like you last year. I felt so unwanted. I got through it though, and out the other side. This year am with a lovely team. Have hope op x

Not sure on the being with your children as much as possible thing other than to say don’t go into academia! TA’s aren’t paid enough for the roles they’re expected to undertake and because they’re not qualified teachers, they don’t get the same level of respect.

@Sartre I’m ok with the salary but just want the hours and the time with my children (our other household income is decent and our mortgage is paid off, so a bit of financial flex for me). I do want to enjoy the role though ideally.
@Catinthehat321 interesting!! You’re making me want to try another class and/or school next year. Do you mind explaining what was hard and what’s different this year?
@SpanThatWorld that’s fair. I guess it’s really hard to work out how different it would be, and I’m worried about soldiering on for this year and then I end up not enjoying the role itself - and the tricky classroom dynamic (which has brought me to tears in the toilets today!) ends up being a red herring. Does that make sense? So I’m interested if people have felt differently about the role depending on the school/teacher/other TA!

I've very recently left after 20 years ..finally burned out.
But I can honestly say that the classroom dynamics make or break the job. I had great years, not so great years and a couple of frankly dreadful years ...and it was down to the staff mix, never the children.
If you enjoy the children then hold out for a different class team next year..in fact request a different team! But if it's the job itself... get out now before it sucks your soul!

@Sonolanona see I just don’t know as I have only ever been with this team! So useful you feel that makes or breaks it though. Maybe I need to have one more shot before calling it a day. And - interestingly - another member of staff asked me how I’m doing and she was worried about the dynamic for me in our class. It made me feel reassured she has spotted it could be an issue for me. It’s a shame as the children really like me and I work so hard.

I'd give it another year if you can... but don't be afraid to say to senior management that you would like a change (cite, personal growth , cpd or whatever!).. they would generally prefer you to be happy than have to replace you!
I can also recommend moving to Special School 😀 Bigger staff team in each class and you all work AS a team with far fewer pupils. I've done both and found Special School far more TA friendly , with very few egos!

My only advice is to see how you feel after next week .

I always get grumpy towards the end of term, behaviour seems to get worse and parental moaning emails seem to go up (or I’m less able to ignore the bonkers ones ?)

never make the decision at that point.

I don’t think there is a better job that fits around children (which is probably why we put up with so much rubbish)

Do you have any experience of supporting any children with SEN / speech and language? Just asking as there can be lots of transferable skills you will have gained.

I do supply TA work so have been to lots of schools and various year groups and can have a very different experience depending on where I am. I think the teacher makes a massive difference to how much I enjoy a post.

I have been a TA for four years now and have worked with a variety of different Teachers. Most I have loved working with, supportive, always had my back and could always have a good laugh together. The one I currently work with now (second year running) is hard work, very controlling and easily gets in a mood then takes it out on TA’s / children. Just generally hard to work with and I’m glad to have another TA in class with me that keeps me going!
I’ll be asking to move year groups next year (although on the job hunt) so we will see!
The last term is always busy with lots going on, just keep your head up and keep going and hopefully next year will be better.

I loved being a TA, but there was one year that was awful because I worked with job sharers who weren’t speaking to each other. I nearly left; then one of them did, so it improved. Find a friendly ear if you can, it’s such a brilliant job

Academia?

Can’t stand working in primary as a TA. It’s very dependent on the teacher you get.

If you work well together it’s fine but if not, it is soul destroying. I’ve never been one to overstep and can take direction well but it’s a very close and all consuming work relationship.

I work as a secondary school TA now. Much better for me. Less claustrophobic and different teachers/classes so more variety. If you get an awful teacher it’s only one lesson 🤦‍♀️.

I love it.
But I’m lucky, I work in a lovely school with mostly lovely teachers, great kids and a head who is just fab.
Everyone gets on, I feel very valued. It has its moments but for the most part I’m glad I took this route x

I’m genuinely gutted that I’m going home every day analysing why the other TA acts like she does towards me - she is such a major part of the reason I’m struggling with the job! The children are great - some are very hard work but that’s why you can’t have an added (unnecessarily) difficult dynamic. I guess I can’t change or improve this as you can’t ask “why don’t you like me” 😂

@RollOnSummer2

there are so many reasons why being a TA sucks, and it’s never the kids 😂

How long have you been there?
I found it took a few terms to feel like I was part of the team. It is hard when you start a job as others know each other, know the dynamics and therefore it can be hard to slot in. This can happen in any workplace though so isn't just unique to schools.
You haven't given any specific examples of why you think the TA hates you, but maybe you are reading more into it.

Personally I find the hardest bit of the job is the high number of sen children, the lack of staff to support them and no training.

The TA’s at my girls school get switched mid year. We’re not entirely sure why but it means that for each of half year so far the older one has had the same TA!

@Moonnstarz yes that part is definitely hard too! That’s why I think you need a supportive, trusting relationship with your team in the classroom.
In terms of her not liking me - she doesn’t even say good morning or hello. The first thing she says to me will be a direction (despite being in the same role). I would actually be fine with her need to be in charge, given she is more experienced, if she wasn’t so unfriendly to me! She’ll reprimand me even though I’m trying my best, in front of people. I keep analysing it all - does she get annoyed because I’m not more experienced? I’m wondering does she think I’m too nice, too smiley, a bit scatty etc? The children really like me and I work well with them, but I’m definitely not a strict TA and definitely more positive and ‘soft’. She can’t work with a couple of the most difficult children though as they refuse to now. It’s so hard not to take it personally as it clearly is!

It sounds like you have answered your own question. You have said you are soft which can be frustrating if you have told a child no/reprimanded them and then another TA comes alone and undermines you, or the child always approaches another member of staff to ask them things as they know they are the soft touch.
How long have you been there? As if you are still relatively new children will crowd you and see you as the next best thing, especially if you then allow them to do things other staff don't.

Not talking to you though is rude and if they have never done this then this is weird. Presumably they talk to the teacher?!

I’ve been so aware of the points you’ve made there so I’ve been really consistent with things and made sure that children know where the boundaries are and that the adults are all on the same page (so that it’s never seen as getting away with anything via me). I just know my tone and my mannerisms are soft and I use positive encouragement a lot and I’m very friendly and warm. I don’t do ‘stern’ very easily and that’s very much her approach. I self reflect a lot (can you tell 🤣) and I’m trying to adapt to needing to be in control of a whole class (I’m totally comfortable managing smaller groups) - I’m very new to the role. A good relationship with the children is a great starting point though and that’s actually coming very easily to me.
Saying all that, I’m wondering if she’s just judged me early doors (it’s been like this since then) and just can’t be bothered to be friendly. It’s shocking to me as in this kind of situation, it would take a really vile person for me to not try and get along so it doesn’t feel awkward?! I do feel like she’s also weirdly territorial about some tasks - she’s nice to the teacher, always trying to get in with her. And other members of staff too, although we gravitate to different people. Maybe we’re just so different and she can’t be arsed, maybe she’s feeling resentful for some reason, it’s bugging me so much that I don’t know! If nothing else, I could work on it for the future as I know I should be myself BUT also don’t want this dynamic to happen again!

have you considered training as a Montessori teacher - the classroom dynamic is completely different to mainstream