To have no patience at all and how to get some

[feelliketheworst]

I keep losing my temper with the children and I hate it; I don’t want to be this parent but it’s like this horrible person comes shooting out of my mouth.

Like my two year old insisting that I just stand around while she jumps on the trampoline and if I dare go inside to the toilet follows me ‘where you gone mummy where you gone’ or the insistence on bringing outdoor toys inside or flitting between this and that and making a horrible mess … I try to be patient but I’m just not. All day I’ve been getting worked up and annoyed over stupid stuff.

I feel like their core memories are going to be being shouted at for stuff that isn’t even bad.

You sound overwhelmed. Can you afford private counselling?

No unfortunately, no spare money at all. And I don’t really have any spare time either.

I was a bit like you, it's a very trying age! If it's any consolation they're 12 & 14 and I'm positively lovely now and they are unharmed... Just keep doing your very best.

I remember the days when it could take a half hour to walk the three-minute walk to the post office because every individual puddle had to be jumped in several times, and talked to. I think I decided to time these things carefully, when I wasn't in a rush to drop DS at his childminder so I could get to work, and to just schedule a load of time, wrap up well if the weather was foul, and lean into it.

God I hope so … I just don’t seem to have any spare patience at all and the more I do it the easier it is to slip into it. It’s horrible, I hate seeing them crying and upset.

Also how old are you OP......my increase in rage was related to a drop on estrogen and I'm now on hrt having started early peri!

I don’t think you can safely leave a two year old on a trampoline alone, so that’s good you’re not able to do that.

With the other stuff, I think you need to just be calmly insistent - put the outdoor toys straight back outside. Direct them immediately to putting away the last activity before starting a new one.

I think sometimes we end up losing our tempers when we’ve tried to be too nice - we
don’t like giving consequences sometimes, so we end up shouting instead, which is worse.

You sound like you need a break. Do you have support and time for yourself? It’s hard to be patient when you’re running on an empty tank

However, yes this happened to me too (but my children weren’t toddlers when it did!)

She’s fine @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing honestly. It doesn’t seem to matter how calm I am, things just seem to go from 0 to 100 in seconds and I’m finding it so tedious and draining going from one crazy demand to the other. It’s exhausting.

I remember those days, nowadays I get the bedroom doors shut in my face “I WANT PRIVACY MOTHER.” 😂

It won’t last forever if that’s of any help, and highky unlikely your 2 year old will remember this. I used to hide in the bathroom when I got overwhelmed with my two littles, id give them some pots & pans and a cooking spoon to entertain themselves for 5 minutes.

Firstly, she’s two so she’s probably not going to have any memories yet so you can park that worry. Secondly, you do sound very overwhelmed, but that’s normal. Everyone feels like that at some point as a parent. Little kids are honestly just annoying.

What we did when they were that age is we always had something exciting to look forward to once they were in bed. Fancy beer, tasty (unhealthy) treat, episode of a really good show, whatever you like.

It’s awful. I keep resolving to do better and then losing it and I don’t even know why.

Snap. Just made a post identical to this actually. I hate myself right now. Have 2 young kids 4 and 1 and just completely lost it at my 4 year old for yet again screaming and shouting and hitting me in public for refusing to come home. I feel like a monster. I don't want to shout but I'm so desperately overwhelmed and fed up of doing everything while my shit ex-P sits on his arse smoking weed and mocking me for not doing everything right and getting stressed. We're moving out in the next few months but I don't know how I'm gonna cope tbqh.

No useful advice but watching the thread in case there is any.