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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with injured DH?

25 replies

MaryIsLost · 23/03/2026 21:10

Around a month ago DH was diagnosed with three DVT clots in his leg. Due to the pain and swelling he was off work a week as he was struggling to walk . He was put on anticoagulant (blood thinners) for the foreseeable and his mobility returned.

Yesterday he thought it was a good idea to go back to playing football, he is a defender and always getting injured. Always.

In the past couple of years alone he's had a broken arm, then a fracture, taken a football boot to the head splitting his head open, copious amounts of sprains, twisted his ankle, cuts grazes and bruises galore.

He was kicked in the leg yesterday at football and now has an enormous hematoma spanning his whole calf, his leg has swollen up like a balloon - likely because of the anticoagulant medication he's on, and he's struggling to walk again.

He went to A&E but is coming home as it's an 8 hour minimum wait. He's going to go back tomorrow when the haematology department opens.

There's no way he's going to be able to work if he can barely walk as he's a manual labourer, and we have three children in two different schools - one of which is a toddler - so I'm going to end up doing everything myself.

I'm not feeling very charitable in fact I'm bloody pissed off.

Am I being a cow?

OP posts:
tryandbepositive · 23/03/2026 21:13

I don’t have any advice other than keep venting as that is so annoying and unreasonable by him.

Notrees · 23/03/2026 21:16

No, not being a cow. He's not playing on your team. And that's crap.

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 23/03/2026 21:19

No, he is being very selfish and making your life harder. I'd be very pissed off too. Especially if he gets a stroke because of his stupidity, you will have to be bearing the whole brunt of everything, and probably until he dies. That's not OK at all.

Shakethedisease · 23/03/2026 21:20

He only took a week off work for three clots in the leg? You would usually be signed off for at least a month and probably two months. He certainly shouldn't be back playing sport yet but I'm surprised it's even possible. His haematology team will tell him he's been stupid.

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/03/2026 21:21

He’s being selfish and incredibly irresponsible. He chose to have children and he needs to work, he can’t carry on as if he’s a lone agent leaving all the work to you so he can fuck off to football and get repeatedly injured. He’s an idiot. I’d have no sympathy at all.

MaryIsLost · 23/03/2026 21:23

He claims the consultant said it was OK to return to football, just to be cautious about bumps to the head.

Surely that can't be right can it?

And yes just the one week off work.

OP posts:
JehovasFitness · 23/03/2026 21:24

Nah he’s been an idiot and it will affect you.

worstnotholiday · 23/03/2026 21:25

Yanbu!!! He’s a selfish prick. My husband is on blood thinners and contact sports are out- the potential for him to get injured is too much of a risk when he has a happy family life that shouldn’t be compromised. Wtf was he thinking?!

Sleepsurvey · 23/03/2026 21:26

My DH only stopped playing as the physio said to him that he’d need to be training over 3 times a week for one game of football. He was constantly getting injured and we’ve got a profoundly disabled child and I got so fucked off with the constant injuries as it left me doing everything. He now coaches our oldest son’s football team so is still involved in football.

Laiste · 23/03/2026 21:27

It's annoying.

My DH was suffering with a dodgy back a few years ago and instead of resting it he agreed to help lift a kitchen island for someone - not a mobile one a 4 unit double sided island ... it wasn't even for a family member or friend. Just some random in a house where he was working

Result ... 3 MONTHS off work, laying on his back on the floor at night for the majority of that and unable to drive or sit.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
i can't roll my eyes enough !!

MaryIsLost · 23/03/2026 21:31

We have a disabled child too (and I completely relate about getting fucked off with the constant injuries)

It's hard enough with two able bodied parents isn't it? Let alone 1 and a patient.

I remember a few years ago he came home crippled from football (OK hyperbole BUT again he could barely walk) and it completely ruined our holiday, that we were going on the following day

I'm glad the consensus isn't that I'm being a cow.

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 23/03/2026 21:32

No. He's an idiot

Hankunamatata · 23/03/2026 21:34

I think my total sentence would be to him

Your a d@ck

Mischance · 23/03/2026 21:37

He claims the consultant said it was OK to return to football, just to be cautious about bumps to the head.

That was sound advice I think. If he is on anti-coag for life he probably needs to lead as normal a life as possible.

But it must be so exasperating for you .......

Sensiblesal · 23/03/2026 21:37

nope not being a cow at all.

he 100% should not be playing football whilst on blood thinners. Can you google him some facts & show him how absolutely bloody stupid he is his & how you don’t want to be a widow & the lids left with no dad

on a not so serious note have you got life insurance covering him?

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 23/03/2026 21:37

He's a bonafide idiot. I wouldn't put up with this at all. I have my own life, I don't want to be my H's carer for 20+ y, cleaning his arse and feeding him, because he was SO stupid as to run about getting thwacked on a football field while taking blood thinners.

AmandaHoldensLips · 23/03/2026 21:44

What a completely moronic thing for him to do. Some men and their football - I mean what the actual fuck? I would be going totally postal in your situation and telling him to grow up.

Nurseposter123 · 23/03/2026 21:48

He needs to find a non contact sport now.

Bloody thinners are no joke.

FlyingPandas · 23/03/2026 21:58

You are absolutely not a cow.

He's a total idiot.

Dealing with a partner with injuries is a nightmare on its own when you've got young DC, let alone adding SEN or disabilities into the mix. Dealing with a partner whose injuries are self indulgent sport related is worse. And if as a result they can't work either because their job is a manual one...I mean, what a twat. Sorry OP, that's rubbish and YANBU at all.

ThatLemonBee · 23/03/2026 22:00

You are a better person than me , unless he is being paid in full while on sick leave I’m assuming he had no normal wages either ? Why would he risk it with 3 children . That’s very selfish . If I was you he would be doing everything alone from now on unless he stopped football

IdentityCris · 23/03/2026 22:06

You're married to a twat, sadly.

justasking111 · 23/03/2026 22:10

I'm on blood thinners post surgery and being very careful. He's a selfish bloody idiot.

HelloR2d2 · 23/03/2026 22:15

What a twat. Anger is the correct response

Random321 · 23/03/2026 22:25

Well I'm guessing he's gorgeous as you clearly didn't marry him for his intelligence.

I would be so annoyed with him.
Life is difficult without inviting trouble and he went looking for it.

I'd be asking him if he intends to be around to enjoy and support his family for the long term. Ask him about reviewing his life cover etc. Dramatic, I know, reminding him that you & the kids need him might appeal to his ego.

Octavia64 · 23/03/2026 22:32

Christ that’s a lot of injuries. Who is he playing against?

can he find a nicer team if he really has to keep playing? Honestly it really sounds like it’s a vicious league and maybe he’s best out of it.

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