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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed that I feel he prioritised something else?

17 replies

gleanandclean85 · 23/03/2026 19:57

I’m wondering if I’m BU here, I’ve just returned from a work trip and before I left I made sure I had filled the fridge, cooked a few meals for my husband to heat ect.
Our daughter is performing in a show in the summer and the tickets were going on sale at the same time as I’d be on a through the night flight home with possibly patchy WiFi so I asked DH to prioritise a few minutes this morning to log in and buy the tickets as they do sell out.
I managed to log in myself 20 minutes after the link went live and purchased two figuring if my husband got ours I’d pass them on to another parent. at this stage there was still a few available but not many.
When I got home I just happened to say did you get the tickets to which he goes no I logged in but they were all gone. He told me he logged in 10 minutes after the link went live. He also did not seem to care that if we didn’t have tickets we were not going to see them perform. He doesn’t see it as a big deal as I’ve got two tickets. AIBU to be annoyed here?
He has a hobby which often involves signing up for events before they sell out and somehow that never seems to be an issue to prioritise. His argument is he works and can’t just take time out for buying tickets online even though he works on a computer all day. Thanks

OP posts:
Malasana · 23/03/2026 20:00

So you managed to get tickets 20 minutes after the link went live but he said that after 10 minutes it was sold out?
He’s lied to you because either he forgot or couldn’t be arsed? Is that what you’re saying?

Malinia · 23/03/2026 20:06

I wouldn't take him. This would seriously piss me off. He didn't try, he lied to you about trying and about when they sold out. He didn't care about seeing his child in their show so he's a shit dad as well as a shit husband.

Is he always this shit?

Farewelltothatid · 23/03/2026 20:09

Of course you aren't being unreasonable to be upset OP.

He has just demonstrated to you that your DD isn't as important to him as his own convenience and his own hobbies. He also lied to you.

I'm assuming because you didn't trust him to buy the tickets anyway you are well aware of what he is like. But it's depressing to be proved right isn't it?

PinkyFlamingo · 23/03/2026 20:10

Of course yanbu, he lied to you.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/03/2026 20:14

YANBU but it’s not a huge deal. Not sure this alone makes him a shit dad and a shit husband.

Original poster
gleanandclean85 · 23/03/2026 20:16

Thank you, I needed to check as I know when you’re tired you can react differently but after having a bit of a rest I’m more disappointed. I even reminded him yesterday sending him the link ect.

OP posts:
TheSlantedOwl · 23/03/2026 20:18

Another selfish, useless H.

Sidebeforeself · 23/03/2026 20:19

You are not BU for being upset that he lied to you. Thats not on.
But your last sentence is unfair because if he’s working he’s working and sometimes you don’t even have a minute even if you are just on a computer. And it’s okay for him not to be as keen as you are to go to this thing .
But he shouldn’t have lied.

Walkacrossthesand · 23/03/2026 20:20

Doubtless he assumes he’ll come with you now that you’ve got the tickets - will your DD be gutted if you pass the 2nd ticket on to another parent who couldn’t get one? He doesn’t deserve it, after all, having not bothered to log on and then lied about it

NuffSaidSam · 23/03/2026 20:22

YANBU to be annoyed.

But I think you have to accept that you've allowed this dynamic to develop.

before I left I made sure I had filled the fridge, cooked a few meals for my husband to heat ect.

I managed to log in myself 20 minutes after the link went live and purchased two figuring

You're his Mummy Wife. And you've made that choice.

Clearly you're both aware of the dynamic. You bought tickets even though you'd told him to do it because you know he's a big unreliable baby. He didn't bother getting the tickets because he knew his Mummy would do it for him.

I'd feel sick looking at him tbh. There is nothing Iess attractive that when your husband is your son. Ick doesn't even come into it!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/03/2026 20:52

NuffSaidSam · 23/03/2026 20:22

YANBU to be annoyed.

But I think you have to accept that you've allowed this dynamic to develop.

before I left I made sure I had filled the fridge, cooked a few meals for my husband to heat ect.

I managed to log in myself 20 minutes after the link went live and purchased two figuring

You're his Mummy Wife. And you've made that choice.

Clearly you're both aware of the dynamic. You bought tickets even though you'd told him to do it because you know he's a big unreliable baby. He didn't bother getting the tickets because he knew his Mummy would do it for him.

I'd feel sick looking at him tbh. There is nothing Iess attractive that when your husband is your son. Ick doesn't even come into it!

I can’t really argue with most of this!

The food thing you could definitely knock on the head!

With things like the booking, I’m not sure how you can ultimately make them step up. In the end, if he doesn’t want to or think it matters, he won’t. Or my exh never did - the only thing I could do was divorce him!

I definitely wouldn’t be letting him have the other ticket though.

RhaenysRocks · 23/03/2026 20:54

Sidebeforeself · 23/03/2026 20:19

You are not BU for being upset that he lied to you. Thats not on.
But your last sentence is unfair because if he’s working he’s working and sometimes you don’t even have a minute even if you are just on a computer. And it’s okay for him not to be as keen as you are to go to this thing .
But he shouldn’t have lied.

Edited

This thing is his daughter's performance, not a random act.

Sidebeforeself · 23/03/2026 21:01

RhaenysRocks · 23/03/2026 20:54

This thing is his daughter's performance, not a random act.

Show quote history

Yes I know that but some people are keener on kids performances than others.

JLou08 · 23/03/2026 21:04

I'd be annoyed. Why are you making meals for him before you go away? If he's used to you making sure everything runs smoothly for the family he's probably got the mindset of wife will pull everything off so no need for me to put in the effort.

Original poster
gleanandclean85 · 23/03/2026 21:12

Thanks everyone, just to clarify I only work part time so household jobs are split say 60/40 so I do cooking/shopping/meal prep. If I didn’t leave food he’d cook. Im not defending him here just clarifying

OP posts:
YetAnotherAlias62 · 23/03/2026 21:42

The tickets are irrelevant - he cba to get the tickets then lied to you and said he'd tried and there weren't any left....

4wardlooking · 23/03/2026 23:33

gleanandclean85 · 23/03/2026 20:16

Thank you, I needed to check as I know when you’re tired you can react differently but after having a bit of a rest I’m more disappointed. I even reminded him yesterday sending him the link ect.

Yes that is disappointing. My DH sets an alarm on his phone for anything important he has to do (for us/kids that he may not be used to doing). Maybe suggest this and give him a little test/second chance.

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