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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Could posh person ever be middle class?

25 replies

GoldenRosebee · 23/03/2026 19:20

I'm just wondering what would you consider posh person and would you consider that to be overall positive descriptor. Could posh person ever be middle class? Feel free to say if poll don't reflect how you think about posh
IABU: Posh person can be middle class
IANBU: Posh person is always above middle class

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 23/03/2026 23:24

No I think it means upper class.

Inthenameoflove · 23/03/2026 23:25

In my experience posh people all consider themselves to be middle class… generally their comparator is the titled aristocracy though not the general public!
As a general rule I’d class people who went to public (private) school to be posh. Likewise anyone that owned a pony, an aga or who goes skiing on holiday (unless on a school/uni trip).

BestZebbie · 23/03/2026 23:34

Do you mean posh as in dirty wellies, or posh as in Hyacinth Bucket? The first is upper class even if they have lost the family fortune, the second never will be.

SlightlyFriendlier · 23/03/2026 23:54

Inthenameoflove · 23/03/2026 23:25

In my experience posh people all consider themselves to be middle class… generally their comparator is the titled aristocracy though not the general public!
As a general rule I’d class people who went to public (private) school to be posh. Likewise anyone that owned a pony, an aga or who goes skiing on holiday (unless on a school/uni trip).

The ‘poshest’ people I know would be amused to be considered MC, maybe jokily horrified. Firmly UC, a scattering of Honourables, mothers who were presented in the 50s, own swathes of Kent?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 23/03/2026 23:56

Why are you asking, OP?

StarryStaryNight · 23/03/2026 23:58

I think it may mean wealthy upper-class persons but not sure?

I read "posh" person would never use the word posh, if that helps?

muggart · 23/03/2026 23:59

posh isn’t a positive descriptor. it’s generally pejorative.

an “upper middle class” person could be described as posh - someone who went to private school and has a rich family, plays rugby, parents will buy them a house, etc but no aristocratic titles and not from a family with tens of millions in the bank.

flagpolesitta · 23/03/2026 23:59

Inthenameoflove · 23/03/2026 23:25

In my experience posh people all consider themselves to be middle class… generally their comparator is the titled aristocracy though not the general public!
As a general rule I’d class people who went to public (private) school to be posh. Likewise anyone that owned a pony, an aga or who goes skiing on holiday (unless on a school/uni trip).

Agree

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 23/03/2026 23:59

One doesn't have to be wealthy to be upper class, it's all to do with breeding.

PickAChew · 23/03/2026 23:59

Why?

JLou08 · 24/03/2026 00:22

Posh is quite subjective. I've been called posh and I'm from a working class background, now in a low paying professional role. Posh to someone who has always lived in poverty won't be the same as it is to someone who has always been middle class.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 24/03/2026 00:27

JLou08 · 24/03/2026 00:22

Posh is quite subjective. I've been called posh and I'm from a working class background, now in a low paying professional role. Posh to someone who has always lived in poverty won't be the same as it is to someone who has always been middle class.

Same. I was considered posh at school and very much NOT at uni 🤣

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 24/03/2026 00:30

Depends what you mean by posh I suppose. My DC both got bullied for being 'posh'. We're not. I'm a single Mum on benefits. But they do speak fairly properly, they don't drop their Ts and Hs. Most people in this area don't speak like that.

My best friend is fairly posh. She went to private school and sounds posher than us. Her family are probably middle class. Hard to know when there are so many different descriptions of class

Another (late) friend was even posher. Spoke full on RP, went to prep school with the now Princess of Wales.

Another, more distant, friend, more of an acquaintance really, grew up in a house that was called <name> Hall and went to Eton. Probably upper class, but other than sounding as posh as fuck is a totally down to earth, skint care-worker.

SheSaidHummingbird · 24/03/2026 00:46

Make it make sense.

Kimura · 24/03/2026 01:26

Inthenameoflove · 23/03/2026 23:25

In my experience posh people all consider themselves to be middle class… generally their comparator is the titled aristocracy though not the general public!
As a general rule I’d class people who went to public (private) school to be posh. Likewise anyone that owned a pony, an aga or who goes skiing on holiday (unless on a school/uni trip).

I went to a very expensive private school, had an Aga in the kitchen and my mum had horses. We we're middle class by definition but the least posh family you've ever met.

We were skint until I was about ten, then my dad made a lot of money and was able to provide us with an extremely privileged quality of life.

I don't think privileged and posh are the same thing. Having nice stuff doesn't make you posh. I see posh as a sort of general sense that you're a level above others... elitism. And I've never seen that more than with the middle class kids I went to school with and their families.

If my parents had ever caught me acting like that they'd have knocked my head off my shoulders.

PetsPalace · 24/03/2026 01:59

My partner was regularly called posh when he worked in Dagenham He's just an average bloke (lower MC?) but grew up in Hertfordshire so has a pretty standard home counties accent rather than theirs. They thought this meant he was posh but he was probably on the same average salary as them, maybe less if they got London weighting (he wasn't based there so didn't). It's all relative.

AlongtheWall · 24/03/2026 02:05

But why

Bikergran · 24/03/2026 09:02

Inthenameoflove · 23/03/2026 23:25

In my experience posh people all consider themselves to be middle class… generally their comparator is the titled aristocracy though not the general public!
As a general rule I’d class people who went to public (private) school to be posh. Likewise anyone that owned a pony, an aga or who goes skiing on holiday (unless on a school/uni trip).

I went to private day school, admittedly a long time ago, but in those days the intake was solidly middle-class, professional parents usually. The path was A levels, university or professional training. Upper-class girls generally went to private boarding school followed by finishing school, then a little job they played at, usually working for a friend of Daddy's, then marriage.

Fifthtimelucky · 24/03/2026 09:24

“Posh” and “middle class” are both inexact - and subjective - terms.

I think there is definitely an overlap between the two at the top end of “middle class”.

I consider myself to be middle class, but not posh.

LysistrataSusanCarter · 24/03/2026 09:32

People can call themselves what they like, or not bother. People can label others as they like, if they must. It’s all pretty subjective and unimportant, isn’t it?

In my experience, the only people who think much about this sort of thing or care in the slightest are uninteresting types with crippling status anxiety.

Miranda65 · 24/03/2026 09:35

There was a huge long thread on this recently. I think, OP, you actually mean an upper class person - who ironically would never use the word "posh", because it's really rather downmarket.

Cosimarocks · 24/03/2026 11:30

‘Posh’ isn’t a class. ‘Posh’ tends to be used as a descriptive word to describe other people. Often, when describing other people, it’s used in a slightly offensive or dismissive way, or at least in a way to ‘other’ that person. The inverted snob version of chav. And when describing things - houses, rooms, cars, food, etc. - as a treat or something to aspire to or something that might put the user slightly in a position they don’t feel at ease. And the labelling of ‘posh’ is undefined and totally based on one’s own experience and take. One person might describe a certain place or thing as posh while someone else may view it as distinctly average. It’s about one’s own experience really. And isn’t it wonderful we all have different experiences!

Class distinctions are something altogether different and far, far, more complex. And money does and doesn’t play a part, but certainly makes it far more complicated.

Essentially, there are three classes (or 5):

  • working class;
  • middle class (you can add lower m, middle m, and upper m) to that; and,
  • upper
Based on these very basic distinctions, the working class would be doing more manual roles. These might be skilled, but they would be non or less academically skilled roles; the middle classes have jobs that require certain levels of academic study; the upper class (generally) would talk of the aristocracy, so titles in the (reasonably) immediate family.

Movement between these classes is possible, but again complex and is often only fully achieved over generations.
So, you may have someone who grows up in a very working class background, but goes to university and becomes a teacher/ doctor/ lawyer, etc. and moves into the middle classes. However, they may be proud of their roots and their achievements and that of their parents and so still say they are still proud members of the working classes (though others would probably view them very much as middle class). But their children would almost certainly grow up thinking of themselves as middle class, with things like professions and university seen more as a matter of course than something amazing.
Equally, someone from the M or U classes may grow up to do a more manual job. But they would probably still see themselves as the class they were born to and have the background, educational beginnings and background to set them apart. But, if through choice or circumstance their children grew up in different circumstances, they or their children may one day think of themselves in a different class.
Certainly, because titles generally only pass one way, and money and houses are limited, the middle classes have many members who’s ancestral background might be U. Even within Royalty. Take someone like Princess Beatrice, she’s a princess, her children might have titles (I’m not sure), and their children may well not. Aren’t we all supposed to be able to take our bloodlines back to kings somewhere along the line?
And, of course a W or M may well marry into the U. Now they may not be fully accepted into this world, but their children will be.

Now things get complicated… while titles and education and professions are all markers of the three classes, money isn’t. You can be a Duke and penniless and you can be a plumber with a massive national company and richer than many a lawyer or aristocrat and still be working class. Money and property or lack of do not change your class. Helps generationally certainly, but not before. This is when terms such as nouveau riche come into play and certain members of the U might start using horrid words like ‘vulgar’.

And where does power fit in? Influence and such? Snobbery (either looking up or down) is classless (in both senses) and is used as a defence against something scary and threatening.

Manners are a marker. Words and speech. Dress and knowledge of their rules and traditions (‘who would dream of wearing brown shoes in the city’?!). Education. Jobs perhaps. But really it’s about where you come from.

All nonsense set up to build divides and ‘keep people in their place’ really.

axolotlfloof · 24/03/2026 18:32

Inthenameoflove · 23/03/2026 23:25

In my experience posh people all consider themselves to be middle class… generally their comparator is the titled aristocracy though not the general public!
As a general rule I’d class people who went to public (private) school to be posh. Likewise anyone that owned a pony, an aga or who goes skiing on holiday (unless on a school/uni trip).

We drive to skiing in our old camper and sleep in the car park, is that still upper class?
It's just a sport, that is a bit inaccessible but very middle class rather than upper class imo.

Dobequiet · 24/03/2026 18:37

Feel free to say if poll don't reflect how you think about posh

I’m not sure what I think about posh.

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