What is so wrong with clutching your pearls anyway?

[Sannabay]

If that means being prudent or being upset about poor behaviour.
And I thought we had moved past big girls blouse language. Do I miss Mumsnet having a discussion on this? If so sorry.
If rather be a big blouse wearing pearl clutcher who has standards and gives careful thought to things than a Trump style big orange wearing Y Fronter.

Help me come up with a big girl blouse/pearl clutcher style descriptor for a Trump type please. :)

I'd rather. Sorry re typos

Have I missed part of a conversation?

Because the pearl clutchers tend to be vocal about it, and insist other people change their behaviour.
Often about totally harmless things.

I hate “pearl clutcher” as much as I hate “woke”. They’re both generally words used to denigrate people who want to defend decent, civilised grown up behaviour.

“ "Pearl clutching" refers to displaying exaggerated, often performative shock, moral outrage, or dismay, typically regarding a situation that is not actually scandalous. It describes a hypocritical or overly sensitive reaction, often used to criticise those who feign horror to assert moral superiority”

Sorry i was just reading the poster whose hubby made a joke after a crash and I e poster referenced pearl clutching, then I remembered Trump slated K Starmer as a pearl clutcher. Thank you for yr interesting unpacking of this term.
I thought it was just a pedestrian anti woman comment.

It's a phrase that denigrates women so I'm not a fan.

I agree it’s pedestrian and anti woman and I embrace it as a way to de-weaponise it. Name calling is for those not able or willing to put in the effort to think critically about the issue at hand. At the same time Trump is a misogynistic asshole and I don’t need to think about him.

Possibly we have to do it when giving our heads a wobble, so they don’t fall off?

Pearl clutching means overreacting.

People with a tendency overreact are just tiresome imo.

Catn take a joke and always getting offended.

Except that on Mumsnet it is often used to insult people who, for example, don’t like deliberate farting in front of other people. Or loud public swearing. Loads of other examples-those are the ones that came to mind first!

I detest this phrase. I have never heard it anywhere other than mumsnet so have no idea if anybody actually uses it in real life.

I find mocking people in this way horrible.

By all means disagree but this sort of language shortcut says more to me about the user than the subject.

I assume this thread was prompted by another one, where a horrible and misogynist joke is being defended by the sort of people who condone men’s appalling behaviour. If that is true, then I am a proud pearl clutcher.

I have been meaning to look up what ‘woke’ means nowadays. It’s no longer a case of ‘I woke up before the alarm went off.’ Or ‘I woke up in the middle of a dream.’

No. I find that pearl-clutching is usually aimed at women who dare to speak their minds, express their sexuality, dress how they want or generally refuse to conform to patriarchal norms of modesty, docility etc.

Pearl-clutching IS the misogynist behaviour.

This. I don't think it means what you think it does @Sannabay .

I haven't seen that thread but I wouldn't use the term 'pearl clutcher' about someone objecting to a misogynistic joke, not that I use it in real life anyway.

Exactly. See also "Karen".

Sowho gets to decide what is acceptable or not? We would all have different ideas

It’s yet another phrase used in attempt to put women in their place - being quiet. See also ‘hysterical’, ‘Karen’ ‘bossy/feisty’ etc. None of these terms get applied to men - in fact I can’t think of any specific terms like that which are aimed at getting men to pipe down.

I was at a meeting and contributed with something relevant, and later someone told me that someone else said that "Phoebe had piped up". I'm not sure that made it into the minutes.

This. As for instance coming onto Mn to complain about sweariness, and asking people to stop, rather than thinking ‘This isn’t the forum for me’ and going elsewhere.

Ugh. I know some sneer at the term microagression but I think that’s a good example of one - what would you do with that exactly, it’s a small but pejorative thing, but if you raised it people will call you more of these words and little would change!

I’m sure I saw research about women’s appraisals and the frequency with which negative words are used to refer to women being outspoken was high, whereas for men the trait was always valued and positive language used.