"We can't justify a £52 lunch" - AIBU to think you didn't need to?

[PropitiousJump]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckg3g11z6d8o

I found this article irritating. Middle earning families complaining they can't afford a day out, in part because of the expense of eating lunch and dinner out. A family of four in both cases.

I completely agree it's got expensive to eat out, but have they never heard of taking your own sandwiches?

And if you look at what they've eaten, they've ordered a lot of extras that have bumped up the bill.

Costa family - £52 lunch for four. If they could have done without an overpriced bag of crisps on top of their mains, and not had puddings (this was lunch, not dinner) they could have got the bill down to a more reasonable £40ish - a tenner each.

Pizza Express family - £174 dinner for four. If they cut out the starter and side orders and the adults had soft drinks instead of alcohol, they could have got the bill down to approx £109 for soft drinks, mains and a dessert each.

This isn't saying they are eating too much - it's not a diet-bashing thread - but common sense says that if you are eating in a chain place on a day out and trying to keep costs down, you don't order loads of extras and alcohol. Have a drink and a snack at home if you're still hungry. Save all the extras for an 'occasion' where eating out is the focus of the event and you're going somewhere special, not fuelling up in a chain restaurant.

AIBU?

I agree with you. I grew up in the 80s, money was tight but we weren’t poor. Days out ALWAYS involved sandwiches brought from home for lunch. Eating out was for special occasions only. Us kids were allowed one soft drink and when it was gone it was gone. I think there’s too much entitlement these days. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it regardless of earnings. I earn almost 90K and still make choices about how to spend my money. I do not expect to be able to afford to eat out for lunch and dinner regularly just because I earn good money.

I’m also all for going out to eat if people want but agree with many that it increasingly feels like terrible value. I look at it as a picnic lunch = £15-50 saved vs a Greggs/cafe/restaurant and over 25-30 days out over a year that pays for an awful lot of theatre tickets (my biggest indulgence item). It’s absolutely true things are getting more expensive relative to income (& even more so relative to disposable income) so it’s good to be clear what you are spending on so you can prioritise. If you just guess all the time it’s really hard to know where you can make savings when you need to or if it’s ok to splurge this week/month without getting in trouble later.

This is nothing new. Even 10 years ago if we went out for lunch then that was the days activity / treat or the cinema, Sealife, Legoland et al. It was never activity AND a meal. Trips to Legoland were fuelled by sandwiches and the picnic became part of the fun . Never a gift from the over priced gift shop and that also meant there was never a "I want" argument at the end of the day as it was never an option from when we started going out.

I think expectations are raised by Social Media and what we think everyone else is doing when most people have been watching the pennies for a while.

They need to discover Greggs.

If they'd used the deals available on the app it probably would have been half the price.
But if the BBC paid for me and my family to have dinner out I probably wouldn't scrimp either

DH and I had lunch out yesterday in a chain type place, 2 roast dinners, 2 soft drinks = £52 (and a side order of ear piercing screaming/shrieking from a toddler at the next table who was clearly thrilled with his lunch and being surrounded by dogs.)

Nice enough meal but doesn't feel worth it to me for £52.

We’ve found giving kids a small amount of weekly pocket money is fab for allowing them to learn a bit about money management and avoiding these debates. They can spend their pocket money on sweets or little things every week if they want to or they can save and get something a bit more at the attraction shop on a day out or they can save for 2-3 months and buy something more substantial. It’s amazing to me how much less they want the tat when they are in control of their own budget

I kind of get your point.

I think they’re saying life is that bit more joyless these days when everything is so expensive!

I’m a taker of packed lunches but sometimes it is nice to be able to say “oh we’ll just buy lunch”

That said, they could have taken their own snacks and reduced the Costa price tag a bit but just getting the sandwiches.

And no one needs those overpriced photos!

Strap in because with the price of oil not coming down its only going to become more unattainable.

I personally would rather take a picnic. We have been on quite a few days out recently and the queues in cafes, coffee shops and restaurants makes me thing we are in the minority. Non of those businesses seem to be struggling.

Except that there are multiple free museums & galleries in the UK. This family are close to Manchester - there are a lot of free family trips you could do there. It's a rubbish article - how is one parent taking kid A to laser quest whilst the other parent takes kid B to the sea life centre inbetween having loads of UPF food a great family day out? They're not even together for the attractions, so missing out on a family ticket discount.

Lunch at home, walk to the free hat museum in Stockport then head to a local restaurant and avoid booze & sides - be under £60 for the whole day. I don't think 4 & 10 year olds benefit from a costa lunch then pizza express for dinner - the food they bought was very unhealthy and hugely calorific.

This! Whenever I eat out, go to see a show, etc the majority of people there are significantly older than me, I'd hazard a guess pensioners. Same with my gym - I'd say 90% of the clientele at my previous "naice" health spa adjoining golf club were 60plus (and would actively resent younger people being there in daytime, I was asked several times why I wasnt at work!) Now I've moved to the cheapo puregym the average age of the clientele has decreased by about 40 years!

There's a lot of "pulling the ladder up after us while pretending we're moaning about the wasteful avocado eating young uns" on here but largely (obviously not applicable to everyone) its older generations who are spending all this money.

Also nobody decrying the waste of money on luxuries has explained where all the people currently working in gift shops, costa/Starbucks, restaurants etc would do if they all closed down and everyone went back to eating out once a year....it's already hard to find jobs, how will they pay into the economy and fund your/our pensions if the vast hospitality sector is decimated?

Similarly people don't seem to make the connection that many of the free activities they think people should go to instead of paid ones "our world class musuems" etc. Are a) ALREADY very, very busy, particularly during school holidays etc. And b) get a lot of their funding from other people paying out for additional things - cafe, paid exhibitions, parking, gift shop, donations - If people stopped doing that they'd struggle to maintain the same opening hours and levels of displays, if they can even afford to run at all.

Basically it's the people you judge for reckless spending that are subsidising your free activities and keeping restaurants in business so you can treat yourself once in a blue moon.

YABVU. So….trips to coffee shops and lunches out should only be for the millionaires?

Laser Quest / Sea Life centre are both far more enjoyable than a bloody hat museum!

I find taking sandwiches to places like Legoland preferable as it takes the stress out of finding somewhere to eat, queuing etc

And as you say it’s part of the fun!

Yanbu. I would always take a packed lunch on a day out. I don't have the money or time to queue.

In the office I buy a multipack of crisps and chocolate bars and stash them in my drawer. Take a sandwich and it's a cheap lunch.

Who takes their children to a hat museum?

Does it take that long to queue?

When I was growing up - and for the first 10-15 or so years of my married life - having a meal out (or a day out that had expensive entrance fees), like those described in the article and on the Panorama programme, was out of the question because it was simply unaffordable.

I've never really got out of that mindset, so in the circumstances of the families featured, I wouldn't have ordered any drinks other than tap water. I think that would save a fair bit on the total cost.

Obviously, if the meal out is for a special occasion, such as a birthday or anniversary, and the meal itself is part of the birthday gift or treat, then that's different and I would splash out on drinks, starters and desserts and make it special. But for an everyday meal, I would usually cut the cost down as much as possible.

Well we go out a lot but I also make my own food a lot.

There are places which are 'must go to' and others which are 'this isnt worth it'.

I wouldnt assume that each trip out has to be accompanied by a cafe/meal etc. I dont know where that has come from to be the norm. People are citing the last 30 years as saying 'well we used to be able to do that' as if its the norm, but that period of time wasnt the norm.

Took my family for Sunday lunch yesterday, 7 adults, 5 kids ( aged 4 to 13) mixture of carvery and non carvery, also mix of soft and alcoholic drinks, all the kids had pudding though none of the adult did. Bill was £183. There’s really no need to spend £170+ on lunch for only 4 people. There are reasonably priced places out there.

Maybe they already did the hat museum several times (and a different family had dinner - its two families in the article)

Clearly the person I was responding to 😂

My two have had an allowance since they were 9/10. My DS is a saver and has bought a number of big ticket items that I wouldn’t buy for Christmas etc. My DD is a spender and always has something on her list. They both have learned to cut their cloth accordingly and there’s definitely value in that as a life lesson.

If we’re going for a big day out (eg a theme park) they have a budget that needs to cover drinks or snacks (over and above whatever I might bring) or gift shop things. Their budget will cover a treat or a snack but not both.

Those things are fine, it’s the more ordinary thing - stopping for a coffee if we’re out shopping, or having lunch if we go out for the day. Those things were easily affordable not too long ago and are much more of a thought now. Obviously no one needs a pizza for lunch, but it adds to their (and frankly my) quality of life if I don’t need to haul a coffee flask and a lunch bag with us.

I think once kids are mid-primary age a picnic isn’t the thrilling thing it once was. My two are teenagers now and aren’t going to be excited by a ham sandwich and a bag of wotsits, no matter how appreciative they are for what they have.

I never get the love of processed cold meat on here, especially ham.

Fair enough. That makes a lot of sense.