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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DS to school?

32 replies

PeppyMoose · 23/03/2026 05:39

Long story short DS class are going on a trip today. It came around last year as I just left my job due to my mental health I had a bit of a breakdown. We couldn’t afford it at the time as we were completely cutting back. Trip is today and there was no spaces left when I asked.

Im not sure what is planned for the kids that are not going. I feel a bit bad about it to be honest I’m happy for him too stay home with me and do some activities.

OP posts:
TwinklyRoseTurtle · 23/03/2026 05:44

I would let him stay home, providing his attendance is usually good

Tamtim · 23/03/2026 05:44

Keep him home and do fun activities.

Pippa12 · 23/03/2026 05:47

I’d keep him home. It’ll be a miserable day for him at school.

TheCurious0range · 23/03/2026 05:55

Depends, is pretty much the whole class going? If so he's not missing anything by staying home, or if it was expensive it could be not many are going and he'll miss a typical school day. I think back to a ski trip at my bog standard state comp in a fairly deprived area of east London, I think about 10-15 went from the whole year, it wasn't even noticeable they'd gone.

superchick · 23/03/2026 06:01

Keep him home if most if the class will be gone all day but i would gave asked what the provision was for those not going. At my DSs school there was recently some dancing event that half the class went on, those that stayed behind had a fun day of playing rounders and lego and reading which he loved.

SpanThatWorld · 23/03/2026 06:02

If there were no spaces available, that suggests that it's not the whole class so there will be a number of other kids at school. I'd send him in.

Brewtiful · 23/03/2026 06:03

I think it depends on how many children from his class are going. Given it was limited spaces it could be that they've planned a normal day for them as not many will be missing.

If it's the vast majority then you could keep him off, I'm guessing he's old enough to stay home alone so it wouldn't impact work etc?

Original poster
PeppyMoose · 23/03/2026 06:05

It’s a Monday to Wednesday trip residential trip I’m not sure how many are going.

OP posts:
Tillow4ever · 23/03/2026 06:08

Well if you are planning to send him in the other days, why would you keep him off today?

Brewtiful · 23/03/2026 06:08

PeppyMoose · 23/03/2026 06:05

It’s a Monday to Wednesday trip residential trip I’m not sure how many are going.

If it's a residential then I would send him to school. He won't be the only one not going so there will be plans in place for the rest of them and missing 3 days of school seems quite excessive.

MinnieMountain · 23/03/2026 06:09

You can't keep him off for 3 days. I presume this is primary school? There will be things planned for the children not going.

Bushmillsbabe · 23/03/2026 06:13

A school cannot exclude a child from an educational trip based on ability to pay - if you are UK. They have to work put a plan with you where you pay what you can afford, if your child wishes to go.

The 'fun' trips - skiing etc, are based on ability to pay, but if they are covering curriculum - such as history or geography, they cannot exclude your child

At DD school they do a 3 day residential year 4 and 5 day year 6. The children who did not go were those whose parents did not feel they were ready emotionally.

What year group is your child?

dazidoo · 23/03/2026 06:16

When I was younger my mum couldn’t afford for me to go on the residential. I still went to school and there was a few other kids who hadn’t gone. We did lots of fun activities (no school work). I’d send him

Moonnstarz · 23/03/2026 06:18

He won't be the only one not going. With residential trips you do usually need to pay a deposit upfront or at least have talked to the school if their payment plan didn't work for you and you still wanted your son to go. By not doing so they would just assume you didn't want your son to go, or he didn't want to, which is why they would then say there wasn't any spaces left as they would have confirmed numbers.

I would send him to school as he won't be the only one not going and you can't keep him off for 3 days. Ours did some activities with TAs such as team building, craft and sport.

ConfusedWriter08 · 23/03/2026 06:24

My youngest recently went on a residential, the children who didn’t go (four from a year of 53) did two days of fun activities, they went to town on the bus to the museum, had lunch out, played sports etc.

CandyEnclosingInvisible · 23/03/2026 06:31

If there are no spaces left then it's definitely not going to be just a handful - there will probably be at least half the kids there. Plus it's 3 days not just today and keeping him home for 3 days is a very different proposition. The kids getting to go on the trip will be having fun that will forge stronger friendships. I expect the school, if they are any good, will be trying to make these 3 days quite fun and relaxed for the kids who aren't going and that will also help build up friendship bonds. If you keep your child at home for 3 days he will be excluded from both sets of experiences.

BringBackCatsEyes · 23/03/2026 07:58

How old is the child?
I don’t recall there being trips for only part of the class in primary. Much more common in secondary but your child sounds younger.

LetMeGoogleThat · 23/03/2026 08:00

Keep him home and do something nice, I'll always remember being the only child that didn't go on a school trip because my parents couldn't afford it.

NobodysChildNow · 23/03/2026 08:04

Do you know the plan for the three days? How many aren’t going? I wondered if he’s being plonked in another class or if they have a plan for the kids who aren’t going.

Twittable · 23/03/2026 08:07

In our school, the kids not going do a project based on a theme eg shipwrecks so there will be art, games, cooking and team building based around this. It is usually so much fun and we take lots of pictures so, when the others are sharing their photos from the trip, we can share ours from the project. There’s no shame in staying behind, he will have lots of attention and a level of pastoral care that we don’t normally have time for.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 23/03/2026 08:10

I find it strange that your DC doesn't know what's happening? If he is old enough to go on a residential trip he should be old enough to know who is and is not going. It's probably all they have talked about for weeks. If he really doesn't know check with another parent. I would think if a number of kids can't go then there will be a fun day planned for them. If he was the only one, then staying home is OK but I really doubt it.

BringBackCatsEyes · 23/03/2026 08:23

LetMeGoogleThat · 23/03/2026 08:00

Keep him home and do something nice, I'll always remember being the only child that didn't go on a school trip because my parents couldn't afford it.

That should not happen these days. Also OP says he’s not the only one. I am sorry you experienced that, it must have been so hard.

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/03/2026 08:33

I’d have asked what the plan was before today tbh but you can’t keep him off for 3 days so assume it’ll be fine and they’ll do something nice with the kids not on the trip.

MinnieMountain · 23/03/2026 08:36

It's not just about the cost. DS's junior school increased the length of the residential trips by a day each school year. I knew at least 2 children who didn't go once it got to 3 days because they didn't want to. By year 6 (5 day trip) only 8 out of 30 children went.

MyKindHiker · 23/03/2026 08:40

If it's anything like my kid's school literally everyone will be going on the residential. When they said no places left it's probably because everything's been set with the accommodation provider (teams assigned, equipment booked) and too late to change.

I'd keep them home. 3 days off school or 3 days off-school-at-a-residential. They aren't doing classes there either.