Dating- feeling deflated

[Spring2026]

No relationship for 6 years. Was seeing someone for a couple of months last year who I really liked, ended due to his psychosexual issues that he made no effort to resolve and he didnt fight to keep me. Just said he didnt want to hurt me emotionally so we ended it. I'd tried to be supportive but obviously have racked my brain constantly to think of what I could've done differently.
Been on a couple of dates so far this year, had a very average one yesterday and the others have just be boring, no connection.
Just feeling deflated with it all really. One of the reasons I've been on my own so long is that I get fed up of the dating game and dip out of it and then I start thinking it would be nice to meet someone and go back in. I'm at the age that all my friends are coupled up, getting married, having babies. I know I probably just need to keep going on dates but my god it feels like hard work sometimes.

Just remember you only need one! Do you feel and look your best now as this does wonders for not settling and dating better men

Sounds like you couldn’t have done anything differently with that one.

Online dating is really hard and dispiriting. It does take perseverance (and breaks) in the face of the horribleness. I think it’s good to supplement it with real life opportunities, going out, joining groups like on meet-up, etc. although I know that’s not easy either.

What is your social life like?

Do you manage to get out and about and meet people in real life?

From what I understand everyone finds on line dating a bit grim.

I’ve two friends who did it, one male one female. They both gave up after many many tries, people lied on their photos, looked different in real life, lied about their age etc, both men and women, and many were plain odd. Sex was a big thing for both genders, men wanting sex immediately, women offering sex but then thinking it meant they were in a relationship. Many thinking if you agree to just a first date it means a relationship and you owe them that as you’d been texting and had a couple of calls, some horrendous stories.

both have now met someone, but it was done in real life, so I’d focus on social life. It does appear the old way is often the best.

I think its better to meet someone when youre out and about.

My current partner talked to me randomly one day whilst waiting for a bus. A week later bumped into him on a night out.

I met an ex boyfriend when I was going out for a meal with an old friend and he was there along with a few other people.

Thank you for your reply. Honestly no, I dont. Mainly because I need to lose some weight. Have rejoined the gym and going to push myself this week to go to a rock climbing group even though it feels terrifying!

Yeah...I just dont feel like people really talk to each other like that anymore! No men ever speak to me when I'm just out and about. Maybe its me 😂

It really is best to take up going to groups where men are going to be there too.
I was briefly single (back with husband now), I joined a sports team, one I’d done professionally in my younger days, so not really to meet men but it was a nice outcome, and took up a new hobby I was interested in, which is traditionally a mans thing but women are starting to take up too. So I made new friends and met men.
I have kept them up since getting back with my husband, and it has been really good for me.

Maybe add a Red Bull to that breakfast smoothie

What?

They've probably meant to reply to the thread about the healthy way of eating

I do 🙄 at the "join clubs" to find someone thing.

Joined a foreign language evening course - men in there were learning the language because they had wives/gfs of that nationality...

Joined orchestras and other music groups - all old enough to he my grandad

Joined a pottery course - the only men there were on date night with their partners

Got into lifting weights and did for seven years - no joy there either

😂 what is one supposed to do ? lurch from one hobby to the next in pursuit of a man?! I gave up and stuck to what I wanted to do, men or not.

Sorry OP still single and no advice but I did get a puppy and she made me forget men entirely ❤️

I did. Apologies.

Padel or run clubs

At one point I did wish I was a runner because running clubs are so often touted as the place to meet a spouse they're basically the new speed dating!

Unfortunately I also hate the water , though I appreciate with padle boarding the idea is to stay out of it 😂

LOL I joined a run cub when I became single last year.
There are zero eligible bachelors, however it’s been a great way to make friends with other single women!