My friend wants us to do things with our kids but her kid is 2 years old mine is 7 years old😅

[Thecozyparrot]

Don’t get me wrong i think id be more keen in more hangouts with our kids if they where to similar age where they enjoy playing togheter and each others company. I think she wants to hang out more but hang out more means with our kids so she can bring hers as an excuse. I have no problem letting my kid with her dad or grandparents to meet friends one on one, she also has a partner but feels like he can never watch his own kid when i tell her if we can have a one on one hangout at least once a month or something. My 7 year old i know she just prob 30 mins with a toddler till she gets bored and want to explore or do more interesting stuff i think my friend has this idea of my daughter being a bit big sister role that can entertain her toddler a bit when if hang out with our kids, that we do very rarely.

anyways me and my partner have plans with our kid this summer where we need to drive 2-3 hours to get there and gonna stay at a nice hotel for the weekend. Very popular zoo and cozy hotel we going to when my friend asked about our plans she also just started to kinda invite herself and her kid and partner ofc since they also where looking for someone to travel there with. So im like stuck.. because i dont really wanna travel with them there i want to focus on my own child and her fun instead of feeling that we have to accomodate to our friends toddler i think it would be a bit different if their kid where similar age to my daughter. Im kinda nervous she bring it up again + wee already booked the hotel and weekend. Im kinda a bit over the toddler stage atm since mine is big girl now🤣 plus i know she just wanted to go with someone since she usually plan stuff like this with her other bestie that also has a 2 year old. Or else she would have asked us directly, not in like after tought

Sorry for my not so great english i tried my best to write as good as i can! (Plz be nice🫶)

I think you have to tell her straight out about the holiday - we planned a holiday just our family, to spend some quality time together, we really want to just do that.

In general terms, I think you can say to her - “can we meet 121? Our kids aren’t the same age, so I’d rather it was just the two of us”

It’s kind of insane that she wants your 7yo to babysit her toddler which doesn’t trust her husband to do. So she thinks a 7 yo girl is more capable than a grown man?

You either have to tell her outright or put up with her gate-crashing your trip

She’s looking for you and your DD to entertain her toddler which really isn’t fair to your DD constantly

My best friend has a 6 year old and my DD is 3 and even with that age gap there is very little they can do together. So I think your friend is being very selfish…. And red flag 🚩 that the toddlers dad can’t / won’t look after his own child

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I agree to that, her toddler sure is a lovley little girl, but im not looking for spending that much time with her toddler on general and specialy not on holiday, where my kid will be all speedy and excited and explore. I do think she really enjoys and like bringing her toddler with her more than her partner cant watch her. But i know my kid and she get bored after a lil bit unless its a kid her own age she can communicate with

Your 7 year old is not her personal babysitter. Her partner's lack of parenting is not your daughter's or your problem to fix.

Sorry, friend, our trip to to X is much needed family time and no, we won't be able to take you or meet up with you. See you after we get back.

When she tries to get your kid to watch hers, tell her no. Your kid is too old for toddler play for more than a few minutes.

She's awfully pushy and it's time for you to push back.

“i dont really wanna travel with them there i want to focus on my own child and her fun instead of feeling that we have to accomodate to our friends toddler”

OP, that is an entirely reasonable thing to want to do. Tell her that the weekend is family time for you, your DH and your DC. I can’t think your partner will be very pleased, having to spend time with someone else’s two year old. Unless you have a people carrier, I don’t see how you would fit all of you in the car anyway, and I can tell you from experience that you will need the space in the car for your own luggage. You just don’t need another family horning in on your weekend away. Could your partner talk to her partner, and let him know that you want some time together just the three of you? Otherwise you are going to end up feeling resentful and put-upon, and it will probably bring about the end of your friendship in any case.

À previous poster summed it up firmly and in a friendly manner...
"Sorry, friend, our trip to to X is much needed family time and no, we won't be able to take you or meet up with you. See you after we get back."

Your English is great. I wish I could write that well in a second language!

As for your issue, just tell your friend that put 7-year-olds don't enjoy babysitting 2-year-olds, so you'd love to meet up but only when her partner is enjoying someone on one time with their joint child.

You need to speak up and start saying no. Is she expecting to gate crash your family holiday and wants you to drive them all there as well?! Why would you not say no!! It might be awkward for ten seconds in conversation but that’s better than having to actually go through with holidaying with them!?