AIBU to dump old work colleague over this?

[HelloDenise]

A former work colleague has got prostate cancer and I messaged someone to let them know. Apparently they didn't get on which I didn't know but there's no call for this response.

Well it’s a horrible response but what were you think of to text this very personal medical information to this person? Especially someone who didn’t like the unwell person. If I was sick and this happened I’d be very unhappy indeed.

If this is true i fail to see why you decided to spread the news and why you added anything else after the first response.

It's not a nice thing to say about someone with cancer but there must be more of a backstory as to why he is being accused of being a misogynist, is there truth to this and has your colleague been on the receiving end of abuse from him in the past?

Nasty response but to be fair you do not know the whole story. Also it was not you business to gossip.

What there is no call for, is someone spreading news they have no business spreading.

So you're gossiping??

You're the issue here.

You were gossiping. She’s being nasty but sometimes bad shit happens to people we don’t like and it doesn’t change the fact that we didn’t like them 🤷‍♀️

Unless your former work colleague asked you to do that, why are you sharing someone’s private information?

Hear hear

Actually the old work friend asked me to pass the news on to certain people. No tale telling, gossiping etc involved. I should have said that in my op shouldn't I, then the answers might have focused on the reply I got.

Also the person I contacted is a man.

The person you text, clearly doesn't like the person with prostate cancer.

Not sure what the issue is?

I would guess they had their reasons for feeling that strongly.

Did he specifically ask you to tell this person? It would be odd if there’s bad blood between them.

You probably should have put the pertinent facts in the OP!!

So on the basis that you had been asked to pass this news on and no gossiping was taking place, I can assume the responder has a reason for their reply.

It's a bit harsh, but without knowing the backstory it impossible to comment.

Gossip isn't great but it's the norm for some folk. But the person who was nasty, well, that's on them to live with. I am a believer that some asshole being sick doesn't always mean they get my sympathy though, depending on how big an asshole.. I'd not toast to their ill health though, that's crass.

Well at least they weren’t being a hypocrite.
I recently found out that someone who I thought was a very unpleasant person has died. I don’t want to have to pretend that it’s devastating news when I think the world is a better place without them around.

Was it Mr Trump that you messaged?

If another man is calling him a misogynist arsehole its normally a bit telling imo....

Do you like this ex colleague? Do you think hes a nice person?
Does he trest women badly??

Couldn’t get past someone gloating about someone having cancer

They aren't gloating
They're saying they have no sympathy

People who are idiots get cancer

They aren't all heroes

Most people die with prostate cancer not of it

He was gloating and saying he hopes it spreads. That's beyond having no sympathy.

I would say the former work colleague was sexist until challenged and he did charge his ways. I worked directly with him. I left in 2009 and have stayed in touch with him. The other man worked in a different department but I know they'd met socially.

So you think it's acceptable to say this kind of thing?
Blimey. I've worked with a couple of people I absolutely could not stand but never in a million years would I even think, let alone say something like that.

I mean, I wouldn’t expect someone to pretend they liked a bloke just because he had prostate cancer, but - assuming your colleague isn’t, eg, Levi Bellfield - ‘I hope his cancer spreads’ feels like a disproportionately deranged response to someone being a bit of a twat.

I’m not saying I’d never think something like that, but I would certainly have the decency not to express that thought to the person who had just politely broken the news to me.

That's vile OP. What a despicable human he is to text you something like that. I don't see how he is any better than the so-called misogynist (and his spelling is atrocious) because that's right up there with one of the most evil things you can say about someone imo.