My very wise DSis who went through breast cancer in her 30s was my best source of support when I was being diagnosed at 57. We chatted a lot and the two things she impressed on me were “ what will be will be” and “trust your team”. It was a bit different from normal because it was during the pandemic, so it was very lonely.
The process at a call back is pretty standard, I’m also an HCP which makes it both easy and hard. You pick up on the body language and the language. They may not be able to confirm diagnosis but I was chatting to the radiologist ( professional conversation) and she said that she can spot breast cancer within 10seconds of viewing the mammogram and ultrasound usually confirmed it. For diagnosis they need the biopsy results but the use words like probably and sinister if they are pretty sure.
As a patient your reactions are no different to any other patient and despite my pragmatism, knowing the odds and the pathology terms I still went into survival mode and forgot most of what was being said at the diagnosis appointment.
In our trust when you are “diagnosed” at the initial call back you are allocated to a surgeon, so if you work in the trust and have a particular surgeon you would like to treat you make it known. I was lucky to be allocated to the surgeon I would have chosen. She is an artist when it comes to breast tissue preservation and you cannot tell I’ve had surgery on my dodgy boob.
My DH and I approached it as if I did have cancer. We decided that it would be a bonus if it was a false alarm. Once you get the diagnosis it is a relief because the wait is the same either way.
Because of my HCP background my surgeon put me straight onto hormone blockers once they had established I was post menopausal. I think they find it slightly easier to treat medical staff because we understand adjuvant treatment. I also had Oncotype testing. The oncologist laughed when I said I was hoping for a score of 11 or less. It was actually 10. He laughed and said I should have put money on it.
Everyone says stay away from Google but I think HCPs often search for different information. I didn’t want to know about the surgery, my surgeon was surprised when I queried what the scars would look like, but I admitted I’d avoided Googling it and she laughed.
Once you’ve had your follow up and if you have to go back for results of a biopsy that is the time to make a list of questions about treatment. Hopefully you won’t need to use it.
In the meantime there is a good support site on Facebook that accepts new members when they have been recalled. It only allows women and the odd man with breast cancer, so support is from “club members “ and not people who think you need to change your diet, make sacrifices to the moon or wear a necklace of foil smelling flowers round you neck to prevent cancer or cure it. Women are free to moan or rant about the real problems that they often feel they can’t do in real life. No one tells you to be brave or to be a warrior.