Anyone else trapped in an overwhelm/restart cycle?

[Clothesairerinmywindow]

I get in this cycle of overwhelm, then reset at least 3 times a year.
It goes like this : high stress, overwhelm, anxiety. Then : crisis management and I normally get a new planner, a new handbag which is going to be the answer to my organisational overwhelm. (In my brain) I know it sounds bonkers and I know it's attempting to impose order on a chaotic brain. Anyone else do it? I must have a fresh start every 3 months
Please no replies of "Good Lord no OP , youve got too much time on your hands etc etc"
This is what can happen in real life and It feels belittling.
I'd be interested to hear any experiences

I have cycles as in, I will do things in a routine for a certain amount of time and then feel I am restricting myself and change the times for example then get muddled, lose track and feel everything is falling apart and spiral. Then I do similar all over again. I am actually worried about my memory as I used to be very organised but exes kept telling me I was too rigid and laughed at me for having ways of stacking the dishwasher, organising glass cupboards with biggest at the back, writing lists for example. I think I must be quite sensitive and took to heart I was taking life too seriously and now feel I am being boring if I have too many routines even though I crave them. It feels self destructive anyway. Almost as if the worry of outside perception is overriding what I need personally.

i write lists and plans for everything, such as meal planners, to do lists, to buy lists etc. when I get stressed, I write an even more detailed list” to do “ list to help me feel in control. Is this the sort of thing you mean op ?

Yes this is quite typical behaviour on my part. I was actually just tidying yesterday and found several planners I’ve bought and abandoned after a week. Planners and lists don’t help me I’ve realised. Bags with loads of pockets are just a nightmare and increase the overwhelm because I can’t find things or forget things are there.

The most helpful think to me is to have my environment set up in such a way that it makes my routine easier to manage. I need things to be reasonably organised and most importantly visible. Like I need to actually see my moisturiser for example or I will forget to put it on. I do have a calendar on the wall because I’m more likely to look at that.

My planner collection is embarrassing. I spent years thinking the right planner would fix me. It turns out an AppleWatch is what I really needed. I can still get overwhelming but the fresh start is now just renaming some reminders and resetting alarms. It pings and wobbles and prompts me all day. I also burn a lot less food!

Yes. I used to do this until I realised my fresh start was just a little detour before resuming my original journey on the same path. If life is overwhelming doing things in a different way doesn't always help. The real help comes from doing less things. The best restart I ever had involved dividing life into things I really must do and things I really enjoy doing, and binning everything else. You have to be ruthless with list one though.

I definitely agree with you there @EverythingGoldenon having to have things visible. I do like order & routine. I do wonder if this is me masking ADHD.

Yes, I’m a bit like this. I currently have about 5 different to-do lists for different things. When I cross a few items off I feel like I then have to write a new list, and consolidate stuff from the other lists etc. It reins in the anxiety a bit.

The ‘reset’ of every few months shows itself by the urge to ‘declutter’. I swear I don’t know I how I still have stuff to declutter, as I don’t even buy much. So I declutter, sell stuff on ebay, plan to redecorate (but not actually do it).

Everything always seems sprawling out of control and I get overwhelmed at the thought of stuff as it always spirals in my mind to the furthest logic and then just seems unmanageable. So I think ‘I’ll sort the house out’. This starts in my mind with maybe a deep clean, then I think I should redecorate, then that the roof probably needs fixing soon, then that I’m thinking of moving out in 2 years and how will I manage all that.

In reality my life is actually very calm and ordered, but unfortunately my mind is not, and I’m constantly trying to find ways to feel more at ease.

I definitely resonate with the different lists and consolidating lists.
My real life (apart from work) is very lovely and calm but my brain is a whirlwind of chaos

This is me

Thanks so much for the thread OP!
Defo me!
I spent the whole of last weekend putting together a life plan, cutting it into chunks with goals and milestones
I decided to put it in a lovely folder so brought one
i later decided to put the main overview in with my life admin folder at the back where I could find it
Readers there was already one there!! That I’d done on laptop over Christmas and forgot about
Bit concerning really 🤔
I’m goona go with previous poster idea and cut the shite in my life

That probs includes spending all morning of MN!!

This is partly why I enjoy browsing in stationery shops. Passed by a fancy one in central London and was sure that the £45 what-to-do-today planner might FINALLY be the one that gets me to sort my life out. (Did leave it behind.)

It’s something for me around the feeling of having new exercise books at the start of a primary school year - before messing them up.