AIBU to think weekly mass at Catholic schools feels quite intense?

[Endoftheway]

My DH and I have 3 children, we are going to be moving after summer to a new town, quite far from where we are right now.
Our children are baptised Catholic but really we don’t go to church much, I’d say it’s very much cultural Catholicism more than true belief.
Anyway the town we are moving to has one secondary school with a very good reputation, but it’s hard to get into as it’s a Catholic school, the admissions criteria right now has

1. Baptised Catholic Children attending a feeder school (any of the about 7 Catholic primary schools in the wider area)

Since that is the first line of the admissions criteria we are looking at the Catholic primary schools. Our children are currently in a Catholic primary school and I’d say the religious element is notable not all consuming, they have lots of children in the school who aren’t Catholic and many who are other religions.

What has shocked me is, the Catholic primary school we are looking at has a weekly mass, that is open to the public and all pupils attend, the above mentioned secondary school also has a weekly mass open to the public.

This has shocked me, one as the secondary school is losing a period a week to mass and as I find it hard to believe enough of the children are actually Catholic!
I understand that these are Catholic schools and I am all for prayers in assembly, and a general Catholic culture but weekly mass seems quite unavoidable for any children who aren’t Catholic or who are questioning religion.

AIBU to think this is quite intense? Even my schools growing up weren’t like this!

It is a Catholic school. I thought you were meant to go to weekly mass if you were Catholic. It seems like quite a small thing really. If you actually believe in it then presumably it is an important part of the week. If you don't it is an opportunity for mindfulness and a pause.

I completely agree with you. I am not religious, but we live in an area where most of the schools are Christian, and half of them are Catholic, and some of them do a weekly mass, but others do not, so it’s clearly not a requirement of a catholic school. My husband is a devout practising Catholic, goes to mass without fail even when we’re on holiday or camping, fasts on the fasting days etc, but he also comes from a country where religion is not allowed in state schools, and he was shocked by the intensity of religion in SOME of the Catholic schools here. He also works in STEM… We visited one primary school for our daughter, and the headteacher proudly said in a presentation that “religion is woven through every subject we do, so even when we’re learning maths…” and the expression of alarm on my husband’s face was quite comical! He later expressed that he hoped there wasn’t too much religion in the maths, and that they just got on with teaching maths and science. We ended up choosing a non religious school for the proximity anyway.

So yeah, I think there is such a thing as too much religion in a religious school (since some are more intense with it than others), and a whole period a week for mass is too much, when schools already struggle to fit everything in. If the school is really excellent then it would be worth it, but if there is another similar school where say they do mass once a month or once a term, it would be much better IMO.

I wouldn't worry too much about this OP. In a couple of years our Nigel will be in charge and he will have banned public prayer, problem solved. 😉

A lot of Catholic kids will be going to mass with their parents on a Sunday anyway, so twice a week is a bit much. Once a month or a few times a term, like some Catholic schools do, would be more reasonable.

Play Catholic games, win Catholic prizes

Most religious schools require confirmation of regular attendance as well as baptism so if you aren't practicing, you might not get in anyway! My local CofE church make it well known that the vicar has to 'sign off' the family attendance in order to apply for a church place!

I think you'll find that Catholic schools now are careful about those messages. Certainly the ones my dc attend and attended are not doing down homosexuality and unmarried relationships.

Quite normal at a Catholic school. I attended Catholic secondary (not primary, although I am Catholic and my family attended mass most Sundays). If you don’t like it go elsewhere 🤷‍♀️ In fact it kind of annoys me when people want to go to a Catholic school because they think it is “better” than other schools, but don’t actually want to go to a Catholic school.

You want your kid In the outstanding secondary but not prepared for the cultural and religious expectations that go along with that

don’t send your kids to the Catholic primary then

Par for the course. My convent school (private) we had mass weekly and on saints days. I was Protestant and would have preferred to miss it and do prep with other girls of different religions but as I was Christian I had to go to mass.

I don't think it's too much or particularly shocking but if you don't like the Catholic ethos choose somewhere else. Both my dc are at Catholic school and I've found the religious element to be a real blessing and it's reawakened my own faith.

That sounds fine to me. You’ll have to adapt your thinking if you send your children there. If the schools have a good reputation then the question shouldn't enter your mind, as it has maybe explore the reason why?

This personal experience might help though-My son attends a catholic primary and I’m the only catholic in the house but not religious. DC aren’t baptised, DH not remotely religious. I do think the extras school have offered are great. Lots of reflection and prayer (which is a bit like meditation I now find). The general school ethos is lovely and caring. I know this exists in other schools too having worked in them but there really is something I can’t put my finger on.

We’re is a fairly big town and the catholic high school is the best in the area and feeder from the primary. Top criteria is baptised attending feeder school is about 5th. DS still got in. We didn’t put him in the primary for that reason, purely because it was the only one that could take both children when we moved.

I went to Catholic primary and secondary in the late 90s/early 00s , mass was definitely an expectation of the school. In primary during the time of confirmation and first holy communion I remember most of the school day (and after school) filled with religious study and prep. In secondary school we had compulsory weekly mass in the chapel within the school, and extra masses on holy days of obligation. Religions study also happened more frequently during the week than any other subject.

I am not Catholic but went to a catholic primary in the 80s. Weekly Mass was absolutely par for the course, either in class, or for the whole school. It wasn’t detrimental to other subjects. It was a really good school that gave me a solid grounding in eg maths that stood me in good stead.

Happy memories - when everyone else in my class was doing their first holy communion, one of the mums found me a dress so I could join in and not feel left out (I was only about 6). I of course didn’t take communion but I attended the local church on the Sunday with everyone else and was in the class pictures and went to the celebration afterwards. I still have the first holy communion medal I was given.

No, I don’t. My son’s independent Catholic prep school is the same and I really like it. If you don’t, you shouldn’t send him to the school.

BTW: my husband and I are both Catholics (he was an altar boy!) but do not practise now.

The weekly Mass is a lovely way for a small one form entry school to connect. The head teacher asks questions of the boys after it’s over, about the Priest’s homily. The last one I attended (parents always welcome) celebrated Saint David’s day and the priest asked the boys what saints were like. Usual answers: saints are always good and kind and love God etc. Priest was like “all saints have a past and all sinners have a future”. Jesuit saint after whom school is named was an absolute scoundrel by all accounts before he came to God.

I am not at all religious but I like that it makes me think. I’m also musical and love singing the hymns.

The school i went to, and dc school, have voluntary mass once a week. I vaguely remember more in primary school.

My secondary school used do to masses for every event, then massive, half a day, whole school ones for patron St of our school/ country/ yr7/yr11. They were epic. The dc's school don't do the full school ones, which is think is a shame.

I wasn't religious then and I'm not now, but i do like a bit of Catholic pomp and drama.

And as a pp said, it's a brilliant way of learning how to cope with boredom.

Sorry for triple post. My son’s school is like 80% other faiths (not Catholic). At least. They don’t care either and alI attend weekly Mass. They’re there for the excellent education (which presumably you are, too). And we are, come to that. But I was raised in Northern Ireland, attended two Catholic schools and Mass was a given. Everyone went.

The education was also outstanding - free secondary education you’d pay a blood arm and a leg for where I live in London.

In summary: it’s Mass, not an ISIS recruitment meeting.

I have been a teacher in lreland for 40 years and this,in my experience, is a total exaggeration. Prayers take up about 5 minutes a day. Communion/ Confirmation times are busy but only for a short while. Most teachers l know rarely spend the allotted time for religion as other subjects run into it. Also children are learning during religion time with language development/ debate/ discussion/ history/ oral work/ art / music etc being in the mix.
I say all this as a non catholic whose children didn't do Communion etc but l hate when people run down Catholic schools with extreme views.
Op Catholic schools in lreland never have mass once a week so l would see that as quite excessive so you will have to decide if that is a deal breaker for choosing the school. Remember all schools have some interruptions eg. Watching a rugby match or listening to a visiting speaker so it's a matter of deciding can you put up with it.

Hahaha I am LOLing at this.

OP hasn’t returned: maybe away at a convent retreat, where phones are prohibited.

I'm not Catholic but my children's dad was. I found the whole mass thing intimidating at first but got used to it. Actually found it quite restful in the end. I think only special masses where open to the public, such as Spring mass. I did think one advantage was the children did a lot of public speaking from a young age which gave them a lot of confidence. I fully expected the Catholic school to have mass etc. Sex education was the same in every school as has to match the national curriculum to get funding as they are not private here, but integrated special character schools.

It is shared knowledge and experience.

Eg I suggested to a work colleague that the college we worked should change it's name to 'St Jude's'.

Any one with a RC upbringing knows that what I am saying is that the students are, well not very studious.

I can probably list the patron saints of half a dozen things.

A depressing number of posters seem perfectly happy with a)covert selection in tax payer funded schools and b) people of faith,or who are prepared to lie about being people of faith having a choice of around 30% more tax payer funded schools than people without faith or who are not prepared to lie about it. Which is pretty depressing if you think about it.

Well I do apologise if my lived experience differs to yours, perhaps different counties/different schools but I attended three catholic schools between primary and secondary and this was the case for me. Certainly in secondary school where we even had an oratory to go to in the school itself. Whole school run by nuns. Lots of bad memories I can tell you. Either way my kids don't go to catholic schools and raised non religious so no matter to me but it was heavily faith based back when I went to school in the 80's and 90's and on top of that my mother would bring us/me to a prayer meeting once a week outside of school too for the craic AND then mass on sunday.