Not to replace broken mug.

[Imdunfer]

This was a long time ago but I still feel a bit guilty, so I guess that must tell me something.

Having a cup of coffee at a good friend's house and I accidentally dropped the mug after washing it out and it smashed.

Friend then told me it was a special mug, so I looked it up and the replacement cost was, in today's values, over £50.

She used that mug because she never washed up until all the mugs in the house were in the sink dirty, not because she thought it would be nice for me to have my coffee in it.

I wouldn't, personally, have given it to a friend for exactly the reason that happened.

She never asked for me to replace it, and I didn't.

AIBU - you should have replaced it without being asked

AINBU - she shouldn't have given me the mug if it was worth that much and a sluice out of a 50p mug from the sink would have taken less than a minute.

Yes I would have replaced it. And you are being unreasonable - she gave you a mug because it was clean and as you are an adult didn’t anticipate that you might break it. She understood however that accidents happen which is why she didn’t ask you to replace it.

I’d definately replace it I’d feel awful!

Really she shouldn’t have told you that it was expensive.

But yes, I would always offer to replace something I’d broken.

Could be a nice gesture to buy her a new mug but it doesn't have to be of equal value. Her fault for using it.

She should try washing her mugs more often and then maybe her expensive ones won't get broken by guests.

Honestly, why are you still thinking about it now? The time to worry and possibly replace the mug passed long ago. Forget about it.

Worrying about things that you did forty years ago (25 in this case) is all part of the joy of being neurdiverse! If I could turn it off I would. I wouldn't say that I worry about it as such, but along with many other thoughtless/involuntary incidents, it just pops into my head from time to time.

It was her fault if she gave an expensive mug to a guest, for whatever reason. But to give it based on because she was too lazy to wash up? Nah, it's definitely her fault and she knew it.

You sound as if you’re desperate to retrospectively justify your own decision not to buy your friend a replacement mug.

YABU as I think you could at least have offered (as long as you could afford to).

But I find the whole tone of your post unnecessarily mean about your friend.

It's just a bit off.

Was it an Emma Bridgewater mug? Maybe not £50 but still expensive. You can get them from Vinted often very reasonably. I'd get her one as a present.

25 years later??

I'd love to see her face! 🤣🤣

I think if you could afford to replace it without too much trouble, you should have. But if it would be very difficult to afford there’s no need.

Do you really think the friend is still worried about this 25 YEARS LATER?

No! I meant at the time!

I'd always replace something of someone else's if I broke it. No ifs, no buts, if I break it, I'm responsible for replacing it.

If she is still a friend 25 years later I would replace it.

Id be rather touched. But I have a long memory for sentimental breakages....

A friend once broke a royal doulton champagne flute but I'd got them as a first valentine present to DH so had sentimental value so I still remember it. That said it wouldn't have occurred to me that he should replace it. Things break. Nit everything lasts forever.

The kids are blasting their way through my Denby. Again I'm annoyed but it doesn't make me expect replacement.

If she was so bothered she should not have given it you.

This happened 25 years ago?

Bit late to buy her a new mug now, mate

This thread has just prompted me to replace my mug that my friend smashed in about 1997 🤣

I think if you are hosting and give your guests glassware, plates or mugs you have to take on the risk of them being broken. It’s not fair to expect you to replace.