She ate all the biscuits

[Imissmusic]

I got a pack of chocolate chip cookies for today after dinner for everyone to have a few-Dd has a balanced diet but we don’t have a dessert or biscuits, crisps etc every night or in the house that often-more on weekends or if we bake something.
I hid the rest of the biscuits away for another day.
I went to have a shower, when Dd came up to bed, she told me she looked everywhere for them, found them and ate them.

Would you be cross? She’s 7

@Imissmusic i don’t think you are making it seem restricted at all. We also don’t do pudding often. Will offer randomly and when we do my 7yo DC will eat a reasonable sized portion, we have actually recently started telling her she can choose her own and she will choose a pretty small portion usually. But equally, she has a full drawer full of candy leftover from Halloween, I’ve had a packet of cookies on the counter in full view for a week etc and she hasn’t even asked to have one, let alone snuck any. We sound like we have a similar approach to you, we don’t offer often but also don’t make a huge deal about it. We talk about food as some foods being good to have in moderation and how our bodies evolved to crave sugar/fat etc so it’s important to take a minute after you have some to see if your body is really craving more. We also have talked a lot since a young age about listening to how our body feels when eating. We don’t ever tell DC to eat more at meals. I don’t know if you are doing any unconscious pressure around eating? It does not sound like it at all.

I think this is a bigger issue than just overeating. She seems to have no self control and also seems disobedient. Mine aren’t perfect but would never have done any of these things-especially not eating stuff meant for baking unless i offered as they would have been intent on the activity and the output. And eating sugar? She must have made herself feel sick eating over half a packet of biscuits in one sitting
Even now they are teenagers they generally ask if it ok to have a snack/when dinner is etc.

There are several options, but I think you’re right to see the GP. There could be a lot of things at play here, and it could be that she’s feeling sluggish or bad in some way and sugar gives her a better feeling (physically or emotionally; none of this would be conscious to her). Someone earlier mentioned “Prada Willy.” Yes, they meant Prader-Willi syndrome, but children don’t just develop this at age 7 and only for sweet foods; people with Prader-Willi are usually obese by the time they are toddlers because they can never “feel full,” and as a result, they will eat everything, even raw ingredients that might be dangerous. It also usually comes with serious developmental delay, so you’d notice. It’s not that. But yes, I find it’s very likely to be ADHD - if she’s that slim, then she’s as likely starving sometimes (when too focused) and gorging sometimes (when she has nothing yo focus on; how many of us eat sweets when we’re “bored,” and ADHD is your brain telling you that you’re bored constantly, unless doing something that creates a lot of dopamine at once, like video games or eating a lot of cookies). Please see the GP; she’s slim now but it may be a nightmare when she’s in charge of her own food, unless you get a handle on this now.

Good luck, OP! And yes, if you KNOW your child would eat the whole package even if it made them sick, it’s not wrong to hide it. But you also have an obligation as a parent to figure out WHY they’re doing it. The fact she tells you immediately indicates she knows it’s “wrong” and feels guilty, so it’s definitely GP time to figure out why she’s doing something she doesn’t seem to really want to do (she doesn’t really want a whole packet of cookies; it makes you feel sick and her parents might be angry, so why would she do it intentionally? Exactly, she wouldn’t.)

Call the police and get her charged for theft.

Have you ever thought she may have ADHD? Impulse issues & the sweet treats maybe give a dopamine hit thats why she wants them so much.
It shoes differently in girls than it does boys (my 19yr old was diagnosed at 8) but give the signs a quick read over online for girls her age & see if the compare to your DD xx

She's 7. It's totally normal to snaffle all the chocolate biscuits. Don't be cross!

Very angry ? Over a packet of biscuits that a 7 yr old ate ? Wow !

No it’s not. I think the whole ‘you’ve made them treats’ is nonsense. Some kids are like wasps.

This is the best reply. Parent the child in front of you, not the apparently perfect angels of lots of pps! I have 2 DC who can handle free access to treats and self-regulate responsibly, and one who would pig the lot in 10 minutes. Same household, same attitudes to food and same diet - different responses. And … FWIW… my impulsive one is diagnosed ADHD. If I’d only had my NT kids I’d no doubt assume it was my amazing parenting that made my kids so measured and mature 🤣🤣🤣🤣

She needs to know what the rules are. How many is she allowed?

Nobody should eat a whole packet of biscuits in one go. It’s excessive and a bad habit to get into. It also deprives others of the biscuits. It also potentially is more money than you were planning to spend on food.

But if you hadn’t explained this to her, and she didn’t know how many she was allowed, you shouldn’t get cross with her. Especially if you and her dad had different attitudes - confusing for her - you need to be on the same page.

When she does understand this and you are clear and consistent about it, you should not need to hide food. There’s something not very nice about hiding food - either hypocritical because you want to eat it all yourself, or weak and pathetic because you’re not willing to make the effort to be an authoritative parent to your child.

If the rules are clear but she still takes food she is not allowed, then you do still
have a problem. I wouldn’t say getting really cross is the answer, because it’s never really the answer to anything. Stern and consistent, yes. But also, not being fundamentalist and making out like it’s the worst sin in the world. Children do make mistakes and you can cause more problems than you solve if you can’t tolerate them unless they’re perfect.

Give her chocolate chip cookies 3 times a day for a week. By the end of the week I doubt she will be able to stomach much more

Have you ever told her not to be so greedy and selfish? It’s not normal behaviour to eat a whole packet of biscuits in one go. I wouldn’t be angry, but I’d want to talk to her to explain that it isn’t acceptable to take food and finish the whole lot without checking first if anyone else wants some. You might need to lock treats away in future if she can’t be trusted.

Have you never encountered people that are 600lb?

I wouldn’t be cross. Miffed that I couldn’t sneak a sly couple or ten, but cross? No.

My DD was a bit like this from around age 8. We started finding wrappers in her room and had to get a locked box for sweet things. She had been allowed a couple of sweet things every day before that so it was nothing to do with it being restricted, and it probably isn't for your DD either. I stopped needing the locked box by about age 12 or 13. She does have ADHD and Autism so I think maybe it's a dopamine thing?

I am astounded by these responses! My parents would have been furious as it’s selfish and means everyone else misses out. It’s just not how family meal planning works?!

we didn’t have an endless money pit for food growing up and my parents had to budget so carefully. The only lasting effect of that has been a healthy level of respect for what they were able to do for us.

We very rarely had sweets in the house, mostly only on long journeys. And would have one dessert a week with a rota for choosing what it was. I love cooking, eat a balanced diet and generally find food very joyful as an adult.

Shows strength of character and determination - all good things to have in life. Clever too to find them. You'll hide them better next time

Honestly, I wouldn’t be very happy about it, as it’s the taking + the fact it’s not healthy. I’d be annoyed but…
I know I would thank myself in the long run if I didn’t make a big deal of it…. In the grand scheme of things it’s very kid like behaviour- kids like cookies and it’s not the end of the world!
Better to go easy than cause any potential food issues.

Good grief, that’s ridiculous

Oh they are only little once, it’s not a big deal at all!

I think you’ve made it into more of a thing…
she’s even, she’s had a bit of a mad day. they all do, we all do.

@Imissmusic I was your daughter. Very into sports so didn't get obese but I just COULD NOT RESIST eating sugary things. I would go through all ice cream even if I knew there was hell to pay. When a little older I started doing my own biscuits at home. Probably filling an emotional void along with sugar addiction. Do not be cross with her. Do portion out sugary treats and hide because she can't control herself.

It might partly depend on what the biscuits were. Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers are easy to eat in one go!

The people advising that restriction causes overeating are being over-simplistic at best. It's the accessibility of palatable, calorific food that leads to overeating.

One of my children is like this - very focused on food and finds it difficult to resist going on the hunt if they know that sweet things are somewhere in the house. They are being assessed for ASD/ADHD so perhaps it's connected.

It's not caused by infrequency of pudding, or excess restriction, or making them feel guilty about liking food. It's just how they're wired.

You can get snack foods now which have more protein and less sugar - like oatier biscuits - which can be the 'treat' without being quite as easy to binge on as Pringles or Chocolate Fingers.

Otherwise - just don't buy them. Sugary, fatty snacks aren't a human right. The idea that you can train your child to self-regulate is just wishful thinking when the food is so addictive, and to some more than others. If we can cut it out until the point that they have their own money and access to shops, then we've at least given them a headstart.

There's been some work showing that the idea of giving your children alcohol to encourage continental-style drinking just leads to earlier drinking and readier access to their parents' alcohol. Most of us just do not have huge amounts of self-control, so it's better for us to keep it out of reach.

Id be cross but I'd try not to stay that way. Next time tell her the treats are to be shared after dinner. And maybe she needs more food to eat in general with fruit or healthier bliss balls for sweet cravings. You can make very easy ones with dates, peanut butter, almond flour if you have it. Blitz for a minute and roll into balls. So good and so filling with less out the sugar crash afterwards. I add hemp powder to mine for extra protein and they satisfy everyone's sweet cravings including mine and I was an absolute sugar fiend.

There is a lot to unpick here and I don't think it is a simple situation with one solution.

1. The hiding creates a game out of finding and then eating the food.
2. The eating until feeling sick - some children/people have poor interoception. This can lead to not recognising when they are hungry or full and can lead to eating out of habit, eating emotionally and eating out of boredom.
3. These products are designed to be gorged. There have been studies that show that foods that are high in sugar and fat are more likely to be overeaten. There have been mice studies where they give them free access to as much high sugar, high fat, or high sugar and fat foods as they want. The mice that had access to either the high sugar or high fat foods ate a typical amount and didn't over eat. The mice with access to the high sugar and fat foods couldn't stop eating.

Other studies have found that these foods have been a design to require minimal chewing to eat and this means there is a delay between eating them and your brain registering that you have eaten them. By which point most of the packet has gone.

1. The more sweetness you have in your diet you brain is reset to expect and need that level of sweetness. My partner spent a week in the US for work about 15 years ago and that was enough to reset his expectations of sweetness. He made dinner and i couldn't eat it as it was so sweet.
2. Sugar and UPF foods are additive, it's not just the sweetness but the mouth feel and the texture and everything about them. This is compound if you have a sweet tooth - My dad has a ridiculously sweet tooth and used to eat pack of 4 mars bars for breakfast. He retired in the summer and with being at home more started eating more and more chocolate. Over November and December he managed to eat 4 of the Christmas chocolate tubs! He put on half a stone in two months and realised it had got a bit out of hand.

By hiding the biscuits there is a dopamine high to be gained from successfully outwitting you and finding the biscuits.
The biscuits high sugar and fat UPFs which creates another dopamine high. They are designed for you to eat more than you realise and to override your bodies "off" switch.

It really isn't a shock that what happened happened.

I would be somewhere between annoyed and furious but would recognise that these emotions teach through fear and sham and that wouldn't be appropriate here. I find approach these situations with firm boundaries and compassion usually helpful. Compassion that she is a child and many people will eat the whole packet but firm that it was wrong to seek them out knowing that they were for another day and by eating them all others have lost out.

I would do a radical assessment of the amount of high sugar and fat UPFs in your diets and make some sensible swaps. Assess each food based on it "eatability" are they one bite and they are gone? Are you grabbing at the packet for the next one before finishing the first? Darker chocolate is less likely to be over eaten. Buy based on expectations - if it's a product that is likely to be hitting the big red dopamine button repeatedly buy enough for one sitting and at a frequency that you would be happy for them to be all eaten at once. For the day to day look at snacks that gives that sweet fix and the feeling of a treat that has more of an off switch.

I would do some gentle proding to assess the awareness she has for the feelings of full and hungry. Identifying other emotions and bodily functions. Many people and children alike can't tell the difference between being hungry and thirsty. They eat not recognising they are thirsty but because they haven't had a drink then thirst doesn't go. What is she thinking and feeling when she is eating like this? Snacking is so often more emotion driven than hunger.

Bring in rules about when and how everyone is allowed snack foods. I have a 5 yo and she asks before she has anything to eat. She is the opposite and has poor interoception for hunger. She has dropped two percentiles in weight over the last 18 months as she will only eat if she is properly hungry so even an apple half an hour before dinner would be enough to stop that hunger and mean she would then refuse to eat dinner. At the same time we need to make the most of times when she is hungry to get some calories and nutrition in her so rather than her having free reign on the cracker draw and fruit bowl we monitor what she wants and if she is clearly hungry hungry we do her a balanced meal sized snack plate of various bits. She has food allergies so on a limited diet because of that too.
If we weren't having to make sure that she was eating a balanced diet and not only eating apples and bread sticks we would have different rules. It's about working out what is right for your family. She gets a cup of oat milk with each snack as well.

We do pudding after every evening meal but it varies from yoghurt with some fruit and nuts to sweets or cake. Sweet foods with protein causes less of a sugar spike and it means the brain is already expecting something sweet so on the days when it gets the cake it doesn't have as much of a yippee this is the best thing in the world I want and need more!