Two Year old “overweight”

[oopsididitagain66]

My son had his two year review last week, at which his weight and height was recorded. The nurse went on to tell me that after working out his BMI which was “very high” so he was overweight and suggested I see a nutritionist. He is a healthy happy boy, maybe a bit on the chunky side but absolutely nothing unusual in my eyes. I assume by pointing us towards a nutritionist it was to help him lose weight. I politely declined as he has a very healthy, varied diet at home and eats well.

Is this the norm?

I’ve had two chunky two year olds. Both girls with massive appetites who ate exceedingly healthily but loved food and just probably ate a bit too much. Both were bay led weaned and the view that a baby won’t overeat is clearly rubbish. I stressed a lot about it. My girls were always “hungry” on days out their friends would be running of playing whilst mine were demanding snacks, at parties lots of the other kids weren’t fussed about the food, mine were the last to leave the table. I’d be the mum at the cafe taking the food off their plate so they didn’t eat too much. I remember letting my then 4 year old eat her full plate at her birthday meal and she spent the afternoon in the toilet with tummy pains.

DD1 is now a very skinny 10 year old. Super super active with not a massive appetite and can eat what she wants.

DD2 is not sporty and weight is still on a higher centile that height. We got the overweight letter in reception for her but her weight and height have gradually evened out a bit in the 3 years since. It’s not easy though and it’s so hard to keep a child with a big appetite a healthy weight without giving them a complex.

I also have DS4 who has a terrible diet compared to his sisters as he is so fussy, but he also just doesn’t have their appetite and is a skinny thing whose age 3 trousers fall down. He’s the kid running around at the party rather than eating.

So this is a long way of saying I’m sure you’re not to blame if he is a bit chunky. You get a child who loves food or one who doesn’t.

This said, so many of my 10 year old’s class are very overweight and out of all the slightly chubby toddlers who started school with her, she is the only one who is slim now, so perhaps it’s worth seeing the nutritionist to sense check portion size and see if they can give any tips.

I didn't realize they used bmi for children. I don't think that a nutritionist will try and put a 2 year old on a weight loss diet, probably just advise to make sure that he's eating the best possible diet to stay healthy.

If you’ve actually been offered proper help I’d take it. That stuff it like rocking horse shit. So if the hv thinks you need it and you admit he is “chunky” take it.

Because like parents that say their child is “spirited” always means it’s under played by the parent.

From those of us who parent teens with eating disorders - please follow your instincts. If he’s on his growth curve, he’s fine - falling below it at any point is when you need to worry. The medical profession places so much misplaced importance on BMI which cannot be a useful measurement at this age. Suppressing his growth by limiting food intake in whatever way is just going to be a huge risk factor for problems later.

The problem with parents following their instincts, is that they're so often wrong.

This is borne out by the fact over a quarter of UK children aged between 2 and 15 are overweight or obese.

My DS has just had his 2 year check and they didn’t do BMI, just the growth chart centiles.

Did they tell you what centile he is on for his height?

My DS is on the 98the centile for weight, but his height matches it so it’s not an issue. I’m also in the camp that 2 year olds are chubby and then they get taller and lose it and start looking like little girls/ boys instead of big babies.

But I would say that NHS services are so overstretched that if they offer you a dietician I would accept because by the time the appointment comes round things might have changed so you may as well be on the list.

No one can tell you’re that you’re unreasonable without much more information. I do think we’ve completely lost sight of what a normal healthy weight is, and being overweight is almost ubiquitous.

And tweaking his diet doesn't necessarily mean 'suppressing his growth'.

Look at all the threads where MNetters are asking how to amuse a child during a wedding, funeral, sibling's parents evening, train journey etc.

The advice is nearly always 'take plenty of snacks to occupy them'.

They're often taught to comfort /boredom eat from a very early age which can lead to many future problems.

My DD was 10lb 6oz at birth and tracked a consistent weight and height on that percentile until she was 3. Fact is that someone has to be 100% and someone has to be 10%. Our HV raised it as an issue despite the fact she was in proportion re height and weight.

We saw a doctor who said her head was the size of a 5-9 year old and her actual body weight was fine (he was so shocked about the size of her head he measured it three times).

She's since grown into her head and ears and tracks 50% on weight and 75% on height.

My then 2 year old was on the 25th centile for height and the 98th for weight! She was basically a chubby little ball. I wasn’t worried as I had a skinny older one and knew that she ate a healthy diet and now she is a slim, very sporty 13 year old.

I wasn’t offered help but as a hcp I probably would have declined anyway as I felt confident in my ability to feed her a healthy balanced diet. I think some toddlers are just chunky and the key thing is to see how they develop and make sure they slim down as they get older. My little ball lost the weight as she naturally increased her activity levels. I have no idea of her bmi now but am confident it is well within the normal range.

How much milk is he drinking per day OP?

I got the same, just overweight but could see ribs. Madness.

My ds was 9.3 born. At 2 he was a big boy. At 3 he was average size. As an adult he's on the lean side...
Ignore.. Keep a food diary for a week.. If anyone questions you about his diet /portions then shove your findings their way.

My son weighed the same when he started school as he did at 2 1/2 always been a healthy weight I think once they start running around it soon comes off

Op does he still use the pushchair a lot? Mine was in the very highest bmi centile before being considered overweight as a two year old. He was visibly very chubby. I was alarmed but didn't change his diet. Though I realised he didn't really get enough exercise so would try to get him walking places.

Now as a 5 year old his height and weight are roughly on the same centile and have been for a year or so. His weight centile has only dropped a little but height has increased. He's was born very small due to difficulties in pregnancy and his weight caught up first before his height I think. He stretched out between 3 and 5 and is now actually quite muscular from riding his bike a lot.

Try not to worry if you're feeding good food, it will probably even out. Kids can never get enough exercise imo so I'd focus on that. It sets up good healthy habits for life in terms of fitness and mental wellbeing.

You could be feeding good food, just too much of it. Having grown up as a fat child, I know it's a miserable thing, made me different and a target. Meant I couldn't have the clothes I wanted, or take part in everything. Please take some advice and action now, rather than put him through school as a 'fat child'

My babies were both chunky into their toddler years. It’s normal until they become really active. My dd quickly became unstoppable and went from 80th percentile weight to 15th in her primary years due to becoming fussy about food and also doing heaps of activities. I did actually get quite worried! She’s now 15, still does some exercise (martial arts and hiking) but she maintains a slender size 6.

I would totally ignore the HV

First of all you say he is chunky but looks normal to you. Then agree he is overweight according to bmi

what size clothes is he in ?

there were 2 ‘chunky’ kids in pre school with dd at 3yr

by yr 1 def fat and I hate saying that word esp with kids

now in yr 4 and 8/9 they are much bigger then any of the other yr 4 who vary in size and height

they struggle to run about. Can’t climb a skating ramp which they all run up and generally looks unhappy and both in 12-13 size clothes and one is a girl and mum struggles to buy summer uniform as they dont make them that big

you need to keep an eye on their diet - less milk and maybe more exercise /running about

fat kids will be da adults usually

I get what you mean OP. A baby aged 23.75 months can be 90-95th centile, having been so since before birth, and be considered perfectly healthy for staying on the same centile. However one week later on their 2nd birthday, they are now considered overweight/obese, and must be being overfed.

I don't know what the answer is. My parents gave me a really healthy diet and I've always been in the overweight range.

How much cows milk is he having a day? That could be what’s tipping him over the edge slightly x

I would either offer a cup of milk with breakfast or before bed and thats it. If he’s having multiple cups of whole milk a day that might be it

How much does he weigh? I don’t know many overweight 2 year olds so if the nurse has suggested a dietician, then I personally wouldn’t turn it down. He may look cute and chunky to you, but if it continues into childhood you will be doing him a disservice but refusing to get him some help. My son did gymnastics from the age of 3 and there was a little girl the same age there who was very overweight. She struggled to do the most basic of things and seeing the heartache on her little face every week made me so sad. I would never want to put my child in that position. If he is overweight and doesn’t have any medical conditions, I would presume that you are feeding too much in relation to the excercise he is getting. Think of your child, don’t live in denial.

What's his centile for height though?

If both height and weight are similar then he'll be 'big' for his age but in proportion, just as a 5th centile for both would be in proportion just diddy compared to peers.

If his height is very different centile then he could be more than 'chunky' and not engaging with support could be setting him up for a number of challenges - listen to what's offered at least op, even if you don't take on the majority of the advice.

My son drinks 2 big cups of cows milk every day and he isn’t overweight. I think the reality of this is that the OP is over feeding and/or not encouraging enough exercise to counteract the amount she is giving him.