Do I say something to this woman?

[OverheardBreakup]

Currently sat in a busy park cafe with my 4 year old (school starter in Sept).

I am awaiting a kidney transplant and immunesupressed. This affects me with tiredness but otherwise I look well. However, I am at greater risk of lots of things and therefore carry hand sanitiser and am probably a little more cautious than others.

Woman with two pre school kids comes in and sits by the kiddy end of the cafe where her children start playing with all the toys.

My 4 year old goes and joins them and I wait for lunch. However, I have just noticed that both children are covered in chicken pox. Now it’s clearly not day 1 as some are scabbed but some are not.

I don’t know…am I being over cautious? I’ve pulled my kid away from the area but this feels like quite a risky thing to do in terms of spreading to the greater public.

Or am I being over the top due to my own health concerns?

Just go home op

I don’t think you’re being over cautious, I would leave, but I wouldn’t say anything. It won’t change anything.

I wouldn’t say anything because I doubt it would make a difference.

But she sounds either very thick, or very selfish.

Scary how selfish people are. My friends unborn baby died at 7 months gestation from the chickenpox virus.

No point saying anything as people like that are most likely to react in an abusive manor.

I wouldn't say anything to her, but I would definitely leave. And YANBU to be furious about it. It's really inconsiderate behaviour on her part.

Get out of there pronto. Chicken pox is really potentially very serious for many people.

I’d also be trying today to see if your child can be vaccinated against chicken pox on the NHS given your circumstances, or, if you can afford it, privately tomorrow or otherwise asap. If you haven’t had it or been immunised the same applies.

Don’t underestimate how incredibly infectious it is. A pregnant friend of mine caught it after less than ten minutes of exposure to a child with uncrusted spots in a ballet school changing room.

That's awful. My 7 year old has chickenpox and hasn't left the house since I discovered it last Saturday! Some people are really selfish

People are very ignorant about it. I once had an argument with a nurse who thought it was fine to expose everyone to it - including aforementioned pregnant lady and an immunocompromised child.

Many people aren’t prepared to compromise their child’s ‘right’ to go out under any circumstances.

I would leave but I would also mention this to the manager of the cafe.

Both thick and selfish, I suspect. I once had a go at a woman with a child of about 7 covered with chickenpox, none of which had scabbed over. She was standing in a queue at the supermarket and I was shocked to see the child. I’ve already had chickenpox but there was a pregnant woman in the supermarket that I’d just passed on my way to the tills.

I told the mother of the chickenpoxed child that she should be at home, and the mother just sneered that it was “only chickenpox” and her daughter had been bored at home. So I proceeded to spell out the dangers to her, the lady on the till heard, rang her bell and the manager came and escorted the lady, child and shopping from the shop. Served her right, ignorant, selfish woman.

That was a fluke though, OP. In your situation I wouldn’t bother speaking to the lady. I’d leave, then phone the cafe and speak to the manager.

Thanks all for your comments. I didn’t have the guts to say anything directly but as I was packing up our stuff I did say loudly to my son that we needed to go as we don’t want to get unwell, and I let the manager know who was very understanding and was going to disinfect all the plastic toys.

I wish I could say I was brave and sassy but I’ve had a few uncomfortable encounters with people who have reacted quite extreme before (using disabled loos for a short period etc) and didn’t want a scene.

Both my kids have had chicken pox (luckily at the same time) and my DH took over childcare completely and my consultant actually advised I move out while they were infectious and that was before I was as ill as I am now so it’s left me with probably more concern about it than if it were a few years earlier