Would I be unreasonable to ask to return an unworn charity shop dress?

[Panamanian]

I bought a dress a few days ago in a charity shop close to my home (I’m in there fairly regularly). I didn’t try it on -I’m not sure if they have a fitting room but I was there with 3 small children so wasn’t going to faff around trying it on.
It is much too big and I’m unlikely to ever wear it. DH reckons I should just ask if I can return it (it has the label on still) but I think I’d be too embarrassed to ask. Do you think it would be reasonable to ask (and expect that they may say no) or would it be really cheeky?

AIBU - don’t even ask!
AINBU - No harm in asking!

Depends on your financial situation. I'd take it back but give it to them rather than asking for a refund.

Our local charity shops all allow you to return as long as the label is still on. I would return it - if you feel guilty, perhaps you could ask for a credit note.

I have done this i swapped the thing for something else though i felt a bit awkward asking for a refund.

I would if I was flat broke and couldn't afford to lose that money, yes.

I would just donate it back to the charity shop.

I've swapped something before now - it was £20 and the day after I bought it and they were happy for me to exchange it for something else.

no harm in asking, however I'd just donate it back tbh

It's perfectly OK so long as the shop provides that. I have a friend who used to do this, she didn't have spare cash so the loss would have been felt.

If you're struggling, it's fine to ask for a refund. If youre ok then just donate it back.

It’s fine to return - if it doesn’t fit don’t lose money over it and don’t feel guilty about it.

Returns get really complicated if the item was originally donated to the shop under a "Gift Aid" scheme.

What happens on signing up to this is that if I donate a bag of clothes that is valued as worth £20 by the charity shop, they can notionally claim 25% of that (ie £5) off the HMRC as a Gift Aid Supplement my donation - however they can't actually claim the money until the items sell, and they may never sell. So when they sell one of the items for £4 they claim £1 of Gift Aid - and that's great until someone returns the item. If that happens and the charity refunds the customer, the charity does not return the £1 Gift Aid to HMRC - HMRC would count that as a debt that I, the original donor, owes to HMRC and it's my responsibility to pay. For this reason most charity shops will only offer credit note refunds against your next purchase rather than cash refunds as this keeps the tax simpler.

I do sometimes return stuff to my local charity shop. But they removed the fitting room last year, so it's impossible to try stuff on, so they make it clear that you are welcome to return things if they don't fit. I wouldn't bother if it was something cheap, but if I've spent £20 on a nice dress then I would definitely bring it back.

HOWEVER I buy an awful lot from that shop, they know me well, I donate a lot, and I nearly always buy something at the same time of equal/higher value when I'm doing a return. So I don't feel bad about it.

That's interesting!

I would donate it back. You've given money to a charity you cant ask for it back

Is it a big charity? BHF, Blue Cross, Helen Douglas offer returns without any issues (they say as much to me when they give me the receipt) especially as two of them can’t offer a changing room.

OP has not given or donated money - she has purchased an item and its
not suitable for her.

Op if it was a £10 plus I'd ask to swap for something else.
If it was less than a £5 I'd just donate it back.

In-between I think it depends on financial circumstances
I don't think I'd ask for a refund unless it was a really pricey item and I couldn't find something else.

But surely the money she paid is going to the charity unless im misunderstanding how charity shops work

It's not a donation. The donor was the original owner of the dress who bought it new.

Depends how much it was because some charity shops are ridiculous with there prices
a couple of pound I’d leave it £10 take it back

Our local charity shops do allow returns, but I usually just donate it back if it's something that isn't suitable or doesn't fit. However, if money is tight I wouldn't be ashamed to take it back or exchange it for something else so they're still getting the money. I've seen pensioners take things back to get refunds, likely it is because they are on a limited income, so there's absolutely no shame in asking OP

Absolutely 👆this. I think some will give you a credit note, but personally I just couldn't. I use charity shops frequently (for clothes) and if I happen to buy the wrong thing, that's on me.

It was £18. It’s a hospice shop so not as big as Oxfam but not a tiny independent either. Asking for a credit note is a good idea.

£18 I definitely return and look for something else or a credit note.

Thats a reasonable sum of money.

Donate it back or ask for an exchange.