To ask whether pps have a) male friends b)close male friends

[Carla786]

I was recently reading a thread about the pros & cons of single sex schools. Personally, I went to one and I felt it was a good model, since joint activities with the boys' school and other extracurricular activities meant I could still befriend boys outside.
On the thread, quite a few posters were saying that going to a mixed school helped them make friends with boys, rather than seeing them as alien creatures and that it's negative if people are mostly friends with their own sex.
I agree in theory that people should try to have friends of the opposite sex. But otoh how typical is this for adult life? Studies show fairly high numbers for people in their twenties, but these lessen for married people, and are less likely to be 'close' friendships. And ofc there's various reasons for this : worry about male friends having other intentions, jealousy issues if married etc

Interested to hear thoughts..

Yes to both.

I went to a mixed sex school and always worked in a male heavy environment. When I was younger I had male friends but retired and married now and all my friends are women.

I prefer the company of women and have more in common with them. Women seem to evolve and mature better in life. I just find them easier company.

Yes, I’ve plenty of make friends I’ve had for decades.

My adult daughter and son have friends of both sexes.

Its possible to be good friends without sex being part of it all.

I went to mixed school and I think its more realistic so more useful for life. I don’t have male friends but I’m “friendly in general” rather than “having many friends” type.

I agree mostly with that. I think it's not fully fair to say women who lack male friends may just be into dieting etc. Some of course,,others might just be suspicious after experiences of male friends who ended up wanting more.

It's nice to see so many people on this thread DO have male friends though.

I am 46 and my best friend is a man. I have got married and had kids and he is also now best friends my husband as well. They are going on holiday next month together without me. And last year I went with him On holiday last year.

DS went to a boys school and has loads of female friends.

One of my best friends is male but he’s gay so a bit of a different situation. I dont have any male friends that I had in school still, but I do have male friends. I don’t spend much one on one time with them though as its more of a group situation with husbands and wives

I’m in my 60’s, went to a mixed school and have male friends although not from school, I only remained in touch with one woman from school. DH went to a boys boarding school and has close female friends whilst also retaining many friends from school.

Married in my 40s. I have a few very good male friends and they're now friends with my husband as well

I have always gotten along better with males.
My best friend at primary school was a boy.
I had mostly male friends throughout secondary school.
At college there was a group of 4 of us, 2 of us female and 2 male, and we were incredibly close (purely platonic) for many years.
I've found as i got to my late 20's and into my 30's my male friendships has lessened as most in my experience are often after something else.
The male friends I do have are mostly those I went to school and college with who I've known for many years. Some of them I've also become friends with their partners/wives.

I've just always preferred male company and I think it's because often they were more simple and transparent than the females I often knew.

My two closest friends from school and for 2 decades afterwards were men. They were like brothers to me.

Unfortunately, both of them drifted away once they got married and I got the impression their wives didnt like them having close female friendships.

It made me really sad.

I had an abusive childhood so while I thought I had male friends - I was actually fawning and seeking validation from males.

A bit of therapy later and my only male friend is my husband. And maybe a chat or two with my friends husbands when we're together out and about.

I work in a male industry and most of my colleagues are men. They aren't friends though but we do get along nicely. No fawning, just work.

Used to be in 50/50 until our late 20s when the guys got shacked up and went awol

I would also say that I really don't enjoy spending time with people who don't have friends of the opposite sex

Yes, and I also think this about women who make a point of never being friends with their own gender.

I find them really insufferable and kind of desperate to prove how "different" they are from other women.

I am always suspicious of anyone who claims they can never be friends with 50% of the population.

I never trust women who dont have female friends. Its usually because they're pick mes

Went to an all girl school, had close male friends outside of school (all straight, if anyone thinks it matters). Did a physics at university so most of my peers were young men, no problems. Stayed friends, have been on holiday with several of them over the years, one was an usher at my wedding. DH is not at all the jealous type, which helps, and he has female friends. A previous partner was a bit funny about it, which should have been a red flag.

I have a group of friends I’ve been close with since primary school, me and another woman and six men. We are still quite close but as a group I guess not 1 to 1. most of us are married now and their wives are mostly lovely.

I went to a girls school, had plenty of male friends then from hobbies then. now married and have both male and female close friends, probably more male than female.

tbh I think not having to deal with boys being irritating at school made me more likely to be friends with ones I had hobbies in common with, most of the boys in my friends' schools behaved like idiots in school groups.

I have only one male friend, former colleague, the loveliest man, meet for lunch every couple of months, we share a love of books and he is so intelligent and interesting ,only male friend I have ever had.

If you asked me in my 20's I would have said yes I have loads of make friends. In fact I was the only girl in a male student house. Now married and approaching 50 I would say I am friends with men who are part of couples with my female friends, but don't have an individual friendship with them, and am friendly with a few male.colleagues who I would be friends with on an individual level outside of work if we lived anywhere near each other and didn't only meet for work. The ones in my 20's petered off as they all settled down and life took over. Including those I considered my best friends. With females it's easier. I also have successfully maintained relationships with female colleagues but you were specifically asking about men.

Very late 30s, married, 4 closest friends only 1 is female

Went to a mixed school - in one of my friendship groups, out of the core five of us, two are male. One from primary and the other we made friends with in secondary. Friends with their wives too. All in our late 30s. Tbh, I think it’s a healthy dynamic to have and I’ve never been remotely interested in anything romantic with either of them and neither of them have suggested wanting anything more with me!

I went to and all girls school and a mixed 6th form. I was shy around boys in my teen years and was really glad to not have to worry about them during lessons. I made both male and female friends at 6th form, university and work in my twenties. My core friendship group in my early twenties was mixed but our socialising dwindled as we approached our 30s.

I have close male friends and they are genuinely just friends.

I went to an exhibition with a close male friend just a couple of weeks ago. Neither of our spouses were interested so we went together, enjoyed the exhibition, had a bite to eat and went home.

My oldest and closest friend is female and I have a few other close female friends - no one from school or early life though - I have moved around a fair bit since the 1980s tbf!

I do have two very good male friends who I see regularly without DH, though both are gay and married to men.