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AIBU?

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12 year old bullying or am i over reacting

4 replies

Shoppingmakesmehappy · 18/03/2026 00:21

My son started high school in Sept unfortunately one of his primary school 'mates' was put in his class along with a few other. He was happy with this as he knew people and they all had lunch etc together. Sons main primary group friends all went to a different high school which I was happy anout as I wanted him to branch out and make new friends.

however with mobile phones and online gaming he is still very close with this group but they are just not nice to him at all. The boy who is still in his class in my opinion is just downright horrible to him. He mocks everything he does, removes him from group chats, calls him names and the other will sometimes laugh a join in. I have spoken to son about how these are not good friends and he has actually made a group of friends with other kids who he meets up with outside of school but will always drift back to the older ones.

this weekend though I have had enough. They were off school and son chose to go out with his new friends over his old friends well the boy still in his class went to town on him calling him a weirdo a gay f**got, asked the others to kick him out of the friend group for good (no one replied to this) and then when son was out with another of the group today for something preplanned he asked why he was with my weirdo son and to hit him. the boy obviously didn't do this. I want to go straight to the boys mum and show her the messages my son doesn't want me to do this but I am getting very concerned about his mental health. He used to be comfortable around these boys now I can tell he's on edge and has even stopped gaining online with them because he was always being 'kicked' by the other boy.

this other boy also sends inappropriate images into the GC the quickly deletes them. How can I make my son remove himself completely from this friend group. He even still eats break and lunch with this boy even though my son has made new friends in school whereas this other boy hasn't. Any advice

OP posts:
WilfredsPies · 18/03/2026 00:39

I’m in favour of stomping on bullies, and not just metaphorically, but I know that’s not the sensible approach.

So my advice would be to approach the school and ask them to intervene and keep them separate. Point out to your son that if he wasn’t sitting with this horrible little shit at breakfast and lunch, then he’d be on his own. And the reason for that is because nobody else is willing to put up with his behaviour. If he wants to stay friends with all the others on the group chat and this little shit starts calling him names, your DS could say ok, I’m sorry you feel that way but I understand if you don’t want to be mates anymore. And then he sticks to it. He doesn’t go near him at breakfast or lunch. If this boys sits down with him, your son needs to tell him he’s on his own from now on.

I’d also enroll your DS in something like Karate. Not for fighting, but for the confidence it gives the children. He needs to see this boy for what he is, and how much more power your son has than he does.

DallazMajor · 18/03/2026 02:29

Have you asked your son why he won’t cut the boy in question off ? Is he scared to do so ?

sittingonabeach · 18/03/2026 02:43

Talk to school

StrawberryElephants · 18/03/2026 06:58

Isnt the obvious solution to get your DS off whatsapp and messaging apps?! Just outright ban them from his phone... they are not necessary and its causing him upset.

All the school will say is - "it's happening outside of school, delete the app."

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