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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu - your experiences of trauma?

3 replies

portvfs · 17/03/2026 20:29

In the last two years, I was the victim of at least 30 crimes during a sustained period of trauma. I was luckily incredibly well supported and am making a positive recovery.

I am in a fortunate enough position to have quite a strong civil case, as mistakes in the police led to my first initial crime being too contaminated to ever properly assess, but payouts probably won’t be worth the time and effort or life changing.

I find the ‘move on, be the bigger person’ narrative quite insulting to victims of crimes because it only really puts the onus on the victim and not the perpetrator.

I have had no accountability from those involved in my trauma. No real apologies, no real changes. Thinking about civil action makes me feel better because it prevents it from happening to others, corrects the record and also people pay attention to financial penalties. The first is what keeps me awake at night still.

But also this will take up time and require me to relive a very traumatic period. I have done so well to recover and get to the place where I am now.

so I am asking - Aibu? Is the advice to walk away truly in my interests? If anyone else has experienced a traumatic crime, was pursuing justice worth it? Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Helplessandheartbroke · 18/03/2026 01:54

Hey didnt want to read and run but im trying to get ds back to sleep. I've no advice but came on to say have you considered posting in legal? And also to offer a handhold

Batties · 18/03/2026 01:58

Were the crimes committed by a form partner? It’s hard to know whether you should walk away without knowing what it was. I have had my own experience but I don’t want to derail your thread if it’s not relevant

Poddingtonpeace · 18/03/2026 04:43

I don't know about that whole phrase. It is unhelpful, so ignore it. What do you think will be the best answer for you? Do you really feel lessons would be learned? From reading the news, I feel this is more likely to be lip service. For you, would it be better just to move on and focus on healing, or is this fight important?

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