Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD struggling with GCSEs

16 replies

StrugglingwithGCSE · 17/03/2026 20:11

Posting here for advice.

DD15 is really struggling with GCSES but doesn’t want me to speak with the school. She has never really like school and all the pressure; she was diagnosed with mild developmental language disorder. We are trying to encourage her to speak with the school to do less GCSES or not GCSES at all, DH says we can’t go against her wishes.

She is also seeing a therapist which she clicked with so hopefully that will help.

It is breaking my heart seeing her so upset; it is impacting her self steam.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 17/03/2026 20:13

Is actually taking them this year or next year?

TeenToTwenties · 17/03/2026 20:13

Of course you can go against her wishes, you are the parents.
Is she y11 or y10?

StrugglingwithGCSE · 17/03/2026 20:14

Smartiepants79 · 17/03/2026 20:13

Is actually taking them this year or next year?

Next year, but the pressure is on. She is in year 10

OP posts:
StrugglingwithGCSE · 17/03/2026 20:14

Year 10

OP posts:
StrugglingwithGCSE · 17/03/2026 20:15

Year 10

OP posts:
AmberTigerEyes · 17/03/2026 20:16

Why can’t you go against her wishes? She is only 15.
You can ask the therapist what school support they would recommend for her.
Then see if she will agree to for both of you to meet with the school just to talk about what the therapist recommends and might be available for her.
She can raise her concerns about being embarrassed, teasing, other kids finding out in the meeting.
I am sure the school as some kind of way to preserve her privacy and ways to ensure she’s not being singled out/being perceived as a teacher’s pet.

titchy · 17/03/2026 20:17

Why are you trying to get her to ask about reducing the number of GCSEs - that’s your job. If she has a processing or language disorder you’ll have to make sure she has accessible exam arrangements - eg extra time, a prompter.

Smartiepants79 · 17/03/2026 22:06

I don’t think no GCSEs is allowed. She has to have a go at some. Even if it’s just maths, English and maybe one or two others. She needs maths and English to do anything going forward.
She doesn’t get to choose whether you speak to school. You have to speak to school. They will change nothing without speaking to you anyway. She is a minor. You decide for her. If she is going to need special arrangements for exams you need to do something about it now. School need months if not years of evidence to prove how she is working and the need for extra time.
Have school not said anything? Surely they’ve noticed if she struggling that much.
Make an appointment with school tomorrow.

Sometimesnot · 17/03/2026 22:12

Have school out support in place specifically around her language disorder. For example pre teaching of topic based vocabulary for technical vocab based subjects such as science and specifically teaching her the vocabulary used in gcse questions (conclude, summarise, analyse, formulate etc)?

Have her teachers had dld training? From my experience the majority of teachers don’t know what it is yet alone how to put in place adjustments.

i would start by making sure school are putting the right support in place. Even ‘mild’ dld can have a significant functional impact.

Gazelda · 17/03/2026 22:12

There are times when you have to do the uncomfortable things in the interest of your child.

If I were you, I’d explain to her that you can’t see her struggling so much and you need to step in and talk with the school to ask for help in finding appropriate support. Tell her it’s a parents job to help their child when the decisions they’re facing are too much for them. You love her so much and can see that she’s trying her best. You are going to see what help can be put in place for her.

it must be breaking your heart. I hope you can secure some appropriate support for her.

Genevieva · 17/03/2026 22:15

How many GCSEs is she doing? Is there anything else she is interested in? A pass in maths and English language is essential. Can she do single award science (1 GCSE instead of 2 or 3)? Is there an agricultural college near you offering day release courses for Y10/11 kids? These are often hands-on and great for those who feel lost at school. They can lead to great sixth form options too.

Holdonforsummer · 17/03/2026 22:22

Contact the school’s SENCO and ask for an urgent meeting.

LemonKoala89 · 01/04/2026 08:11

This sounds really hard for both of you, and it's clear how much you care about her.

A few thoughts that might help. The fact that she's engaged with a therapist she actually clicks with is genuinely significant that relationship could be really valuable for unpacking some of the school pressure stuff too, not just general wellbeing. It might be worth gently asking the therapist (with DD's awareness) whether school stress is something they can work through together.

On the school communication her wanting privacy is completely understandable at 15, but there may be a middle ground. Rather than speaking to school about her struggles which can feel exposing, some parents find it useful to ask school quietly about what accommodations exist for students with DLD without it necessarily being about their specific child first. That way you're gathering information rather than flagging her.

On the GCSEs themselves fewer GCSEs is genuinely a valid path and doesn't close as many doors as people think. Most colleges and employers care about English, Maths and a handful of others. If reducing the load takes the pressure down enough that she actually passes the ones she does sit, that's a much better outcome than struggling through all of them.

When she is ready to revise, Kingsbridge Education and Save My Exams are both really accessible resources good quality, not overwhelming, and she can work through them at her own pace without it feeling like school. Sometimes having control over how and when she revises makes a real difference for young people who find the school environment stressful.

But really you're doing the right things. Therapy, listening to her wishes, taking it seriously. That matters more than any resource

BarbiesDreamHome · 01/04/2026 08:16

I know this sounds crazy patronising so I'm really sorry but have you asked DD how you can help her? I know as adults we often know what's best for our kids but they never agree 😆

Given that its likely going one way - her not getting top exam results amd probably some upset and fall out - I'd focus on managing your relationship and just giving her the control. Without wishing to be rude, what ever you do is unlikely to make a huge difference academically so I'd focus on that support to help her think about what's after exams. Practical jobs she might enjoy. That might in turn open up a conversation about managing exams.

jeaux90 · 01/04/2026 08:22

Speak to school Senco. I reduced my DD16 down. Easier maths stream, just biology, and unless she particularly likes English lit she doesn’t really have to do that. Although mine did. If you are looking for a longer term solution which is less academic start looking at the BTECs etc for her. Assessment based so way less exam pressure than a levels

UndoRedo · 01/04/2026 09:00

My DD had said significant difficulties in year 10 due to mental health struggles, but didn't want, and never asked for her GCSE load to be reduced. Year 11 was better and she did well in her exams. Be guided by her. Make decisions later on if needed but don't limit her options yet

New posts on this thread. Refresh page