Partner keeps going on and on about Middle East conflict

[MyTrivia]

Every morning and evening, he phones me to go on and on about the Iran conflict.

Petrol will triple in price
there won’t be any food
it will be like Covid but worse

I’m so sick of hearing about it. There’s nothing we can do and I would prefer to focus on my autistic kids who need my support. I have quite fragile mental health too.

its like he’s obsessed with it.
Anyone else with partner / family this way?

Maybe it's time to ask about how he's feeling? Rather than discussing what he's saying - food/prices/COVID - ask about the underlying fear?

You don't have to, but that might be useful for understanding what's going on.

Yeah, ask how he feels about. It is rather estressful, with all this uncertainty.

Tell him that you struggle concentrating for any length of time listening.
Suggest he writes down the main areas of concern and how he thinks things may unfold. Ask him to include several outcomes And what he would likely do about it.
Tell him yr not discussing it anymore verbally but you look forward to his written account because then, when you have the time to sit down with a brew in peace, you can really think the issues through and engage more fully with the issues. If he keeps talking just repeat your idea.

In addition ask him please would you take the time to read through the main political parties policies on SEN provision and have him pop these into a easy to read format for you to look at.

Ive seen threads on here about the war and how some women want to have a stock pile, others have been scared etc.
But because its a man that as fear/concerns about it its wrong.

Op stated she has fragile mh. Man friend overreacted to the point of bleeding hands during COVID. Op has asked him to perhaps not speak so much about the issues and it would appear he just keeps repeating the same fears.
He needs to DO something about it all. To perhaps feel less passive.

Well stuff goes on all the time - it’s one thing after another. I remember 9/11, I remember everything else. We all know Trump is a dick who acts first and thinks later.

i find talking about it constantly tiring. Having one conversation ok, but really going on and on about it does nobody any good.

Hoi polloi don’t have the power to change things do we?

Writting up what to do in each scenario is likely to help him, indeed.
It is most likely what his anxious brain is trying to do. Get ready for the unexpected.
I really think mumsnet board will give him an outlet. You do have to write your thoughts. Writting always helps to tidy the mind up a bit. It needs structure.

Honestly, you should have seen the stockpile he had during Covid 😂 it was something to behold. All that happened was that he ended up overeating and then complaining how much weight he put on from eating 4 pot noodles a day.

These are worrying times.

Maybe he is too anxious for you.
Is there anything that calms him?

Does he work OP? Or have interests? Because this is the behaviour of someone who badly needs a useful focus. If it were me I'd allow one conversation a day at an agreed time then insist on discussing or doing other things.

I listen to the news once a day for a quick catch up. Then switch off for the rest of the day.
It was the same during covid. Just being negative and moaning all the time.
People like Jeremy Vine and Nicky Campbell encourage people to phone up and moan as well on the phone in shows.
Nicky was absolutely obsessed with covid moaning and encouraging people to phone up and say the government should be doing this, that and the other. Then nothing changed and the same people would phone up again next week.
Nicky would obviously interrupt though as per usual normally giving one of his long boring speeches.

Yes my DH is the same, started during Covid, became an anti-vaxxer, banging on about ivermectin/fenbendazole, stockpiling food and massive bottles of water, bought a generator, wants to move us all abroad so DS doesn't get conscripted into the army.

I understand why he’s worried but it’s really not on to burden you with that when you have told him to stop. I would change the subject each time and if he refuses to end the call each time.

All this worrying about the effect on him personally would give me the massive ick. Or, more maturely, what @newornotnew said- she's right that there is obviously some underlying anxiety to all this.

Is he engaging with all this stuff online? Would he be open to cutting down on that? It's a vicious circle.

Yes. I've found that being clear about the extent to which I'm willing to eg stockpile, and when I'm done listening has massively helped. It's head mashing else and I know he's onto something and really concerned but I've got my limits. It works. He's respectful about it even if he forgets sometimes. I hope yours can be too.

Why on earth are you still seeing him? He’s obsessive and paranoid.

Why on earth are you still seeing him? He’s obsessive and paranoid.

Yes he has a very full-on job actually.

Is "obsessive" not rather subjective here?

I mean what is your baseline ? What level of interest in current affairs do you consider normal?

I’m following everything intently and have two friends who are doing the same. My boyfriend isn’t interested so I avoid discussing anything with him. He should be capable of that.

This is the third war in the Gulf directly involving the US since 1990, not to mention wars closer to home in Europe or others conflict in the Middle East or Africa. Tell him to get some perspective.