Dorset - if I have to move there, where should I live?

[NotTheMrMenAgain]

First off, I know that IABU by posting this in AIBU, but I don’t know anyone in real life who knows Dorset, so I need the traffic.

It’s looking like - due to work transfer - I could be moving to Dorset in approx 18 months/2 years. I wouldn’t want to do it without proper planning, so we’re starting a series of exploration visits over Easter. The problem is, I don’t know the area at all. DC went to Bournemouth for a day and said it was “full of Uni students, but nice” - that is the sum total of our experience 😆. Of course I’ve googled the heck out of it, but mostly opinions seem to fall broadly into two camps - the “we love living in the countryside” people and the “the seaside towns have gone to shit and are full of drug addicts” folk.

Please can anyone who lives in Dorset, or knows it well, offer some advice about where might be a good place to visit, with a view to moving there?

We are honestly pretty easy to please! Coming from an industrialised Midlands city (which we love), we would be happy to be somewhere near the sea or countryside. BUT, I’m aware these locations are very different and bring their own challenges - like the coast being packed and the roads super busy during school holidays and the lack of supermarket on the doorstep and multiple takeaway delivery options being a shock to the system. But, it looks like it’s going to happen, and we’re very happy to make the most of it.

We’d need to be a reasonable commuting distance from either Weymouth or Bournemouth for work - an hour in the car or on the train. Obviously, the journey would look very different in the peak holiday season. We’re planning on doing weekend visits during all times of the year, but I know we won’t get a realistic idea of what it’s like until we move, and then it’s a done deal!

Really grateful for any advice or suggestions, thank you!

Based on my experience visiting family there it will be quite a culture shock moving from a huge city. I don't think I could live there permanently because of the huge distances you need to travel for things like hospitals and bigger shops and there is next to no public transport by city standards. But if you don't mind driving and are up for something different then you may love it. Definitely listen to people who actually live there and see it all year round, all weathers, know where to avoid etc.

I would live in Wimborne, ( very nice) nicer bits of Poole or Dorchester

We lived around Dorchester. Personally, I much prefer West Dorset (Dorchester, Weymouth, Bridport) to East Dorset (Bournemouth and Poole). It’s much more countryside and less shitty seaside faded glory.You will also get loads more for your money.

I moved to Christchurch a year ago and absolutely love it. There are lots of lovely dog walks we have lovely stretches of Riverside and short drive to Southbourne beach or Hengistbury Head which is lovely. The town itself is sweetly old fashioned with lots of cafes and lots of history

You will inevitably have a 'shepherds hut' in your garden. No sheep will ever have been near it. It will have bunting, spiders and peeling farrow and ball paint. You think you'll use it as a spare room but no one will stay once they realise that's the option. It will gradually decay and you'll be embarrassed that you paid the previous owner 8k to leave it.
You will go to pubs with nice fonts that serve what ever the future was 8 years ago so brioche buns, pulled pork, lamb shank.
You husband will take up a musical instrument, play to grade 3 and have an emotional affair with a divorcee from Bridport. Bridport ties with Lewes for the UK's highest female divorced population.
One of you will do a tougher mudder and you will think seriously about buying a tent box.
You will miss the Midlands but the wine is better in Dorset so that's a bonus.

swanage

Another vote for Parkstone. Lived there, had to move away for work, can't wait to move back once DS has moved out and we can slow down pre-retirement.

Beaches and countryside walks easily accessible, but also shops, restaurants and train into London if you want. The only downside for us was job security in our field (hence moving) but as soon as that's not an issue, we'll be straight back there.

Bournemouth is basically where OCG members live, full of cocaine dealers.

I’d live in Bridport, which is quite affordable with all amenities but super close to West Bay which is just gorgeous (actually walking distance along a footpath).

Bridport. I could work for the tourist board about how great it is. Three art centres/theatres (with new one coming soon). Two weekly markets. Independent shops. Great butchers. Five minute drive to the coast. Twenty minutes to two train stations (Dorchester or Axminster). Nice restaurants and bars. Extremely friendly community. I rest my case…

My ex-husband has just moved there with new middle-class wife - gone are the football shirts, now it’s Joules socks and classical recitals. I’m convinced you know them. You’ve made my evening 🤣🤣

Visited whilst on holiday last May. The Saturday market was absolutely buzzing, wonderful vibe. Burton Bradstock is lovely village with two pubs. The Three Horseshoes has excellent food and is dog friendly, actually the whole area seems to be dog friendly, I don't have dogs but did notice all the signs welcoming them. The Swannery at Abbotsbury was a wonderful day out,

I've promised myself I'm walking to that church on the top of the hill (St Catherines?) but I need to shed a few stone first

If I could move to that area I would but I have a grandchild and I couldn't bear to not see her every week.

Weymouth is really nice there are quite a few shops and big supermarkets as well as the sea, it had a bit of a boost from the Olympics and is quite busy even in the winter. It can be packed in the summer.
Dorchester is quite small has some good shops in the centre and has a cinema.
Bournemouth is quite rough and not as nice as it used to be, a lot of empty shops.
The train goes between the three.

Lots of advice about the coastal southern part of the county OP, but unless you have to commute daily to Bournemouth or Weymouth, you could consider going further inland into mid and north Dorset - both absolutely gorgeous countryside, and the roads are easier as they run more north-south and are less busy. There are nice market towns like Blandford Forum, Shaftesbury and Sherborne, though public transport is poor. Wimborne is probably more a favourite with newbies with a large budget as it is close to the Poole/Bournemouth connurbation. I have a friend currently looking to move to Wimborne but she is put off by the lack of a railway.

Dorset is a lovely county. I like the small towns of Wareham or Bridport.

I lived in Southbourne from the age of 12 - Fisherman's Walk. DH was born in Bournemouth. This was the 1960s-1980s. While it was too urban for my liking (we had moved from Devon, Dartmoor) Bournemouth was a great place to be a teenager. Shops in the middle of town were great, so was the nightlife.
However since then Bournemouth centre has gone very downhill. Druggies, homeless, department stores shut... it is so sad. (Boscombe has always been iffy - rough and druggy and more so nowadays).
So you are better off out of the centre. However the public transport is good in the Bournemouth area and also links to other parts of the country, car, bus or plane. NOTE!!! - there are no motorways in Dorset, the quickest way anywhere is from Bournemouth via the Ringwood Spur Road to the M3. This is easily reached from the east side, Southbourne or Christchurch.
Don't live on Castle Lane, it's appalling for traffic at rush hour. The main hospital is there and at school kicking out it grinds to a halt- both Bournemouth grammar schools are there and they are huge.
Anyway, we moved out to Swanage years ago and love it... but our kids didn't when they became teenagers. Both of them moved to the Manchester area as adults 😁Maybe we should have stayed put!
Nb. Don't forget, if you live in a seaside town and want to go anywhere on Bank Holidays etc you will be travelling in the opposite direction to the traffic jams!!!

We have to go to painful summer parties hosted by BIL's current partner whilst avoiding the exes picking up supplies in Waitrose. We have absolutely met all the divorced women in the greater Bridport area. Even the lesbians. Even the hippie alternative women are weirdly predictable.
Their friends, their kids, their dull dull lives. There is no humour in Dorset. We have had to minimise contact because there is just not enough HRT to stop me yawning.

Do you need to consider where your adult DCs will be based and if you will be doing regular weekend trips each way because that might help you focus to be east or west

When you say within commuting distance of Weymouth and Bournemouth, will you need to travel between the two places in one day? If so make sure you're near a train station as it's not a journey I'd consider by road in the summer.
I've only scanned the thread but I see you've mentioned Crossways. Pleasant but dull would be how I'd describe it.
Bridport seems to be getting quite a few mentions but the lack of public transport would be an issue for me.
Wareham is the town I would opt for. It's between Weymouth and Bournemouth, has public transport and a sense of community.

Dorset is my favourite place so lucky you! I only really know it for holidays though so glad you’re getting some proper advice!

Wimbourne.
lovely.

Lovely restaurants and city centre

If you go near the coast the traffic in summer is a nightmare. If you aren’t bothered about the beach I would go further inland. You’ll get more for your money too.

Blandford Forum. Lovely market town, friendly community, easy to get to coast, otters in the river. Surrounded by nice places and lovely countryside.

We looked at Sherborne, Shaftesbury and Gillingham when we thought we might be moving to Dorset. Sherborne has railway into Waterloo, and Shaftesbury and Gillingham easy access to the A303.