Autistic teenage vegetarian daughter refusing prescription meds.

[taratill]

Posting on AIBU for traffic.

Does anyone have any experience of this and how to work around it?

DD is 16 (so she has to consent to treatment), she is autistic and has very fixed views.

She takes vegetarianism to the extreme generally and this has been an increasing issue over the years with her refusing cross contamination and not wanting to be near where meat is prepared or sweet wrappers even because of gelatine.

She's normally fit and healthy but the last few months she hasn't felt well and has been experiencing headaches and dizziness and palpatations so she's just had bloods done and it turns out, perhaps unsurprisingly that she's anaemic and has low B12 and vit D. The doctor has phoned and has left the prescription at the surgery pharmacy wanting bloods redone in 3 months.

I've called her and she has said she will not take the prescription if it is not specifically vegetarian, the doctor does know she is vegetarian and autistic but I'm not sure if the meds prescribed will be!

She is an intelligent child but her views on this are horrible. She would rather be ill than break her own rules around products being vegetarian.

I just don't know how to sensibly approach this. I guess if the prescription isn't suitable i can make an appointment for her to explain to dr why she is refusing treatment.

Does the Mumsnet hive mind have any other ideas/ experience? She's at 80% attendance at college due to frequently feeling too washed out to attend and she is county level sport and this is impacted her in that too.

There is just no reasoning with her so it's exhausting.

This is the iron I take OP, I take 2 a day to make 100mg, Im not sure how that marries up to the stuff the GP gives out which I think is 200mg?

https://www.dolphinfitness.co.uk/en/vega-non-constipating-50mg-iron-60-capsules/150874/?ladid=uk&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20703656591&gbraid=0AAAAADttqLRPWUypeze_J_kmxombMxhOF&gclid=Cj0KCQjwve7NBhC-ARIsALZy9HW4WLENBQXpLEF3E7RxrEMBTE9ZKqfH_BQgcr5Ish38O7UAqiGSjB4aAoZcEALw_wcB

OTC are not strong enough.

She doesn't eat a varied enough diet.

I wasn't trying to imply that vegetarianism is inherently unhealthy.

She's prescribed 300mg for 90 days then needs repeat blood tests. I"m not sure she'd tolerate 6 tablets a day as well as the Vit D and B12 but thanks for the suggestion

Thanks I'm going to look into it. The problem I am going to have is consent. She is 16 so unless she consents to support I am stuck.

She doesn't think she has a problem and melts down at the suggestion that she does.

Edited to add - I agree re. OCD which you mentioned in a later post.

Then you need to get help with her disordered eating. Refusing to eat something, including tablets, that has meat derived products in it is not disordered, rigid or unreasonable- it's how most vegetarians and vegans behave. The more you try to persuade her that she is being unreasonable/rigid about medication then the more paranoid she will get about contamination because she will know deep down that she can't trust what you say or for you to keep things separate. Your op was about how to get your dd to realise how unreasonable she was being and how to get her to take medication that wasn't certified vegetarian.

She isnt very likely to consent and its really unhelpful (not just this thread, I see it all the time on other threads) when someone says 'you need to do this, or you need to get her that', forgetting that there is a young person here with agency and autonomy who will choose whether to engage with this or that service or this or that therapy.

So your way in, is to procure the right dosage of stuff she can take.

I'm not sure if you have read all of this but no prescribed medicine is specifically labelled vegetarian. It is a case of going through the ingredients.

She was prescribe meds which suggested they were suitable for vegetarians but it turns out one of the ingredients (a colouring) is animal derived.

I agree with your point about the disordered eating and am going to see if i can get her help. It is hard when a person is 16 and is refusing as they are deemed competent for their own medical treatments.

And also there may be some small chance that once she is not suffering from deficiencies, it may have an effect on her cognitive/emotional and executive functioning, not as a curall but diet is very much important in terms of supporting people with difficulties like that.

So she was right to go through the ingredients. It's normal behaviour for a vegetarian. I have seen posh restaurant menus advertised as vegetarian that contain non vegetarian cheese. Most vegetarians check ingredients as force of habit because non vegetarians can't be trusted always to get it right.

And I know lots of vegetarians who don't do that!

Do you know vegetarians who won't touch keys or door handles in case a meat eater has not washed their hands too?

Now you are deflecting. As mentioned you need to get her treatment for disordered eating, and it sounds like possible OCD too. But what will not help the situation is you trying to persuade her that it is unreasonable to not take non vegetarian tablets. You are making a rod for your own back by becoming an untrustworthy adult in her life if you do so.

I think that sounds like ocd. I have this in my family.
It’s difficult to see the line at times between vegetarian behaviours and something else. My mum has seperate pots and plates for meat and veggie cooking.
Has your dd had support from CBT ?

only that is the complete opposite of what I am doing.

I am literally on here trying to find a solution that she can take that will keep her healthy and meet her vegetarian requirements!!!!

I am frustrated because it is so difficult. Even the doctor prescribed 'vegetarian' version isn't suitable i'm not forcing it down her throat.

It does worry me that there may be a time that she needs drugs that are not aviable in vegetarian format & she would refuse them at the cost of her life. We have had posters mention chemotherapy upthread.

I'm not going to respond any further to you as you either have comprehension issues or you are wilfully misinterpreting what i am saying.

Either way you have empathy issues.

no because she doesn't accept she has a problem unfortunately.

You can't force talking therapies unless a person recognises there is a problem and they want help with it.

What `i need to do is get her well first.

That, as a pp has said, might help her cognitively too.

I would pack out her diet with vitamin c and iron rich foods and order some vegetarian gummies for a boost and see how she goes. Vitamin d should be paired with calcium for best absorption, you can get extra strength versions of these from the supermarket. It's not as good as the prescription options but given she is so passionate about being a vegetarian this may be a good shout.

Her ferritin at 7! She must feel horrendous. You must be tearing your hair out. I saw you said she wouldn’t have an infusion because of phobia with her veins but she must have had some blood tests done and will need more to check her levels again. If they could talk to her about an iron infusion it’s 20-30 mins and so much more effective than the tablets. She really is critically low which I know you know. I really feel for you.

thanks, that is a really good point about the blood coming from veins, i'm not sure why putting something in them is so different for her.

I'll speak to her about it.

Yes she's feeling awful. Not made it into college again today : ( .

This may not be helpful, but is she aware that if she collapses somewhere and gets taken to hospital, they'll probably (possibly) just give her stuff, they wont be waiting around for her to read ingredients.

Not saying that to scare her but would it be enough of a push for her to think, I better take the best stuff I can, or have an infusion so I dont risk blacking out somewhere and not being concious enough to give consent for care?

You can request the vegetarian options with the pharmacist, lots of people won’t take medication that isn’t. For health, compassionate and religious reasons, it’s not an unusual request.

Another good point. She has felt like she will pass out a couple of times now. Thanks.

i have tried speaking to both GP and pharmacist.

They prescribed a vegetarian mediation only it wasn't when she actually read the ingredients & checked them.

This actually sounds horrendous! Im sorry, now I've got the full picture I can really see your difficulties - it goes way beyond vegetarianism. Sounds more like obsessive compulsive thinking than eating disorder, since it's to do with touching keys or being in the same room?

What was the ingredient? I’d go back and explain they’d prescribed the wrong medication.

Can you remember the item of the ingredient, because thats really unusual, these things are checked so much, is it possible she made a mistake?

I have managed to source something now, thanks.