To leave good job because I want the summer off

[SunnySuze]

Have been employed now for 18 months, on a fixed term. Employer has offered me a new contract for two years but I really want the summer off to have freedom and to not do much frankly. I’ve saved a bit of my salary £5000, and all bills would be covered fine but it does mean we’d loose the extra nice bits like impromptu takeaways and whatnots.
I’ve dreams of getting the kids after school and heading to the park rather than the usual after school club pick ups, rush tea, then bed.
Am I mad? DH is supportive of whatever I choose.

If burnt out, would the new potential boss allow you to have a month off before you start? Perhaps if they do a month would be a lovely amount of time to get your breath back and spend some time with the children?

If you like the job though it may be worth hanging onto it for a while and perhaps save a bigger cushion. Perhaps next summer off?

It’s complex. We have 3 nephews who hung around their bedrooms for at least a year video gaming, being depressed, not having the confidence to speak to us despite knowing them for 20 years. I did blame the parents, they were too soft - the expectations on those boys was on the floor - it was all ah poor poor boys they don’t feel able to do anything, it’s too hard - they feel anxious - newsflash - everyone finds it hard.

Cut to ds- good degree from a good Uni, already diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and I worried, I worried about the affect the ofter ASD/ADHD kids at uni with his condition had on him, they taught him that he didn’t have to do things that made him feel uncomfortable - he was allowed to stay in his ASD/ADHD world and not be challenged I was worried about the low expectations the rest of the family had - I told him - sitting in his room was not an option - he would have to get his arse into work.

He said because of his ASD and ADHD he couldn’t make a phone call - that was just how it was for people like him. I’m afraid that was a situation I could not accept - the world might not be the way you want it but it’s up to you to rise to take the challenge. I knew he was capable. I made him do the phone call, another and another till it didn’t matter anymore. Overcoming something he was convinced he couldn’t do gave him the confidence to do it again. He stopped talking about what he couldn’t do because of his ASD/ADHD and started thing of ways around the problem. He put himself into loads of situations that made him feel uncomfortable, he did several assessment centres. The last one he did - he walked into the room determined to speak to every applicant, make a connection - when he was finished he was totally exhausted but he knew he’d done what he needed to do and he got a place. Despite his ASD/ADHD he really is good with people at work, even good at dealing with difficult people at work - he knows instinctively how to deal with people - but the box he’d put himself in was stopping him from discovering his innate skill.
I am so proud of him - so proud of what he has pushed himself to do - I pushed him too - but he trusted me to have his best interests at heart, I know that I will be judged for doing that but I don’t care - he needed to feel the fear and do it anyway - something his cousins refused to go through - even now - they are failing to meet their potential - it’s such a shame. We don’t talk about what our kids are doing work wise - it does feel smug - I wish it didn’t.

I don’t think you need to quit? You have a legal entitlement to unpaid parental leave: https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement.

From this April, you can ask for it from day 1 of employment. The job market is extremely difficult at the moment.

Could you negotiate a one month break over summer so you spend time with your DC and not put them into a summer club?

I don't know much about this but I thought after a while, FTAs become permanent appointments. The reason I mention it is:

1. Is your employer trying to dodge giving you the opportunity to book time off over summer by reappointing you over and over?

1. Could you just get a new job somewhere else now and put next summer down as prebooked leave before taking the job?

I’d also see if start date could be delayed, you’d have a gap in employment but could meet needs of you & employer, as I’m guessing it would take awhile to recruit.

you said what’s the worst that can happen - I’m great at catastrophising 😆 so I think worst that can happen, you take summer off it rains and is just rubbish all summer, you can’t find a new job, Christmas is tight, the extra stress and pressure on your marriage means you separate/divorce, you are now single mum & unemployed struggling to make ends meet … (this is extreme worst case scenario!!)

if it was me (and I could afford it) I’d try to delay new contract start date to spend time with kids.

good luck whatever you do

The job market is really bad at the moment. Could you negotiate two months or six weeks off for the summer holidays?

I’ve always worked full time with a couple of short breaks between jobs. They have been golden, so definitely try and get some time with your kids. They grow up so fast and I wish I’d had a bit more time with them when they were young.

no one can take the whole summer off as annual leave no matter where you work!

well I’m sure someone will pop up to say they do but it’s not common

It depends.
Do you like the job? If so are they willing to wait until after the summer before giving you the new two year contract. If not how easy will it be for you to get another job? Can you manage financially if you have to wait several months before you get new employment?
I can understand how you feel though and that you want to spend time with your children while they are young because the time goes by so fast so if you can afford it, are willing and able to take the risks of not getting another job and are sure it's what you want do it.

Just ask for some unpaid leave

What age are your kids? I went back when mine started school and wouldn’t want the whole Summer off. I appreciate Annual Leave so much more these days and we always make the most of it (days out, visit family, outdoor stuff, family holiday etc).

I do think having a whole 6 weeks off isn’t as amazing as it sounds. Mine always enjoyed holiday clubs (often friends from school there too). Can you take a few weeks off, spread them out over the 6 weeks if you want abit more time in the Summer? I generally take all the half terms, week at Easter, week in the Summer and save some AL for other days. It breaks up the year nicely and we dont ‘live for Summer’ so we make sure we do nice things all school holidays

August often starts to feel like Autumn half-way through so I wouldn’t leave a job relying on Summer in the UK to be totally amazing.

I dont know much about the job market or whether this is a good idea financially but I do know that life is for living and you don't get these years with your kids back.

The best days of my life have been when I've been able to have some extended time off work without a plan. Lazy days with the kids paddling in a stream or picnicking in the park, watching a film if its raining. Those are the memories I will cherish on my death bed, not the rushing to catch a bus to get to my desk job. My kids are a bit older now but I'm hoping I'll be able to take a bit of a sabbatical again before they leave home.

@SunnySuze There are stages in life where 'the hamster wheel' is just how life is. Yes, we all dream of getting off it, but in reality that phase often comes later in life. In general I found that the more senior and experienced I was the more flexibility I had, but that flexibility was only achieved through the hard years on the hamster wheel. Then I went self-employed and didn't have to answer to anyone (except my ability to pay the mortgage & bills). But again my success in that was achieved through the hard years of slow grind, building networks and credibility, being reliable, being able to build a financial buffer in case contracts ended.

You say your dh is happy with whatever you decide. Does that mean his slary alone is enough to keep your family solvent? For how long? Does he understand how hard the current employment market is?

However, you also have an opportunity here. Your employer wants you to stay on. Could you have less than 'the whole summer' off? Could you reply saying that because you had anticipated your contract ending you have family commitments from x date to x date (covering for example 4 or 5 or 6 weeks). Ask if you new contract can commence after that period. [although the break in employment may offer you less employment protection].

You know your work area. If you have 4 weeks off (unpaid) it may be unlikely that they want to recruit and train someone new. If you ask for 3 months off your employer is likely to question your commitment and bring in someone who is hingrier for the job.

Can't you ask the company to let you have an unpaid break in between? It's win-win for them, as they won't pay you annual leave or pension, and they know you can do the work. They'd be fools not to at least give you a month off in between.

Obviously cover getting a sabbatical first; then hand in notice and you might get a sabbatical if they say no first time round; but as your husband is supportive go for it.

You will never regret travel.

I would actually go one step further; as soon as school is out, drive to a cheap cheerful campsite in Spain right next to the beach. €10 del dia; sun, beach; wine cheaper than water; good food. Be near an airport so your husband can fly out for a couple of long weekends. Lots of Brits around. Good for building relationships. Indeed this summer I'll be doing the same with one of my now teenage sons ahead of GCSE years.

The reality is the jobs market is not great and along with this as your kids get older the expenses will rise. I have friends with teenagers and kids in college/university and it's expensive. Then you need to consider your NI stamps and having a personal pension as you get older.

I have seen people working and putting money into a personal pension so they can retire before state pension age.

In your situation I would ask your employer could you take 4 weeks unpaid leave during the kids summer holidays and use some of your annual leave at this time also.
It gives you time at home with your kids but still keep s your job open to go back to afterwards.

I would just not leave a role to have summer with your kids. Then a future employer will ask why did you leave that role and think you let them down in the future. Also it easier to change jobs if your already in a job.

Other posters here in recruitment have said the job market is horrible and they have large numbers of people applying for roles.
I also think that £5,000 in savings will go quickly and if you apply for UC they will ask you why you left your last job. They could make you wait weeks before giving a UC payment to you. Then you need to show that your seriously looking for work.

Do what's need to keep your current job rather than ending up in this situation.
I worked with a lady years ago who gave up her job without another one lined up and she found it hard to get another job. This was when the job market was good unlike now.

Do it! The kids are only young once.

Could you not ask your employer to perhaps start the employment after you’ve had the summer off? It would save them having to train someone else who potentially may not be fully trained until you’d be back in post anyway if not could you look at a flexible working arrangement where you could do some pick ups in the week?

Basically I would look at this as a deathbed question on your deathbed will you regret not having the summer off with your kids while they were young or would you regret potentially being unemployed for a short amount of time?

You only live once.

If you can afford it, then do it!

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Nobody is promised tomorrow darling! If you can afford it, go for it.
No-ones epitaph reads "I shouda worked more"
As long as your little darlings are not going to suffer hardship as a result, do it. X

Depends if they will rehire you or find someone else. Just wanting to go forest show commitment to an employer. Jobs are difficult to get now.

The only thing I would say is suppose they get someone in to cover you over the summer and train them up. They may then decide to offer them the job not you. But that’s a risk you’d have to take.

Just what I said!

If you can afford it take the summer off - the kids are only getting older and summer is difficult for childcare with the holidays. Enjoy the time with them, if that's what you want to do.

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