AIBU to limit visitors before baby’s first vaccine?

[Bubblewrap22]

My parents are coming to stay over when baby will be 4 weeks old to help out etc. They are very clean, non smokers and live rurally / retired & don’t commute. However, they mentioned my uncle wanted to come too but he commutes into London every day, he’s a heavy smoker and I’ll be honest their house is just not clean and his wife is a dog walker (and her car is filthy) so I’m a bit more reluctant to let him in before baby has his first vaccine. The also have two teenage boys who go out to clubs and pubs so I’m just more weary that their household is more prone to germs

I know it’s also very unlikely but given the MenB outbreak in Kent, my uncle is more likely to carry it if he’s commuting into London on the tube with people from Kent… or am I being neurotic mother?

I wouldn’t let him stay or hold the baby. A quick visit otherwise i would allow. It’s the smoking thst would concern me the most. Just stay open minded about whether you want anyone staying at all - I couldn’t have thought of anything worse at that stage, I needed the quiet more than I needed any help.

The London commute, dog walking wife, and teenage sons wouldn't bother me. I would say no because of the heavy smoking though.

The smoking for me would be a big no for visiting a baby of any age.

Given the Men B outbreak, I don't think it is unreasonable. Normally I would say yes its unreasonable. The only one that would bother me normally is the smoking one.

YANBU. My DD wasn’t introduced properly to my family until she’d had her first round of injections.

I also requested that my parents have whooping cough boosters because they were the ones who would have the closest contact with her. They had the injections.

My FIL smokes. He was told to wash his hands before touching DD and to bring a fresh shirt to change into so she wouldn’t be exposed to a smoky shirt. He was happy to do that.

Just say you want to limit visitors as you have your parents coming and can they come at a later date as you are still getting a routine established and feeding etc

People who aren't in the immediately affected area of Canterbury where the outbreak is, are being a tad hysterical about it. It's NOT a thing that can be transmitted by casual contact (eg being in the same train carriage as someone who might have been exposed). Students living in close proximity to one another, clubbing, sharing food and body fluids - sure, I think it's sensible for them to take care and get a vaccine. Viewing someone who commutes into London, which is theoretically proximate to Kent, which contains a city where some people have contracted meningitis through very close and prolonged contact - absolutely crazy, OP!

You know, surely you do, that someone who is 'clean' is as likely as someone you think's a bit grubby, to get or transmit a bug? But aren't your relatives vaccinated? The jabs your baby will be getting aren't going to be any different to what your older family have, presumably, all been protected against already?

Just ask your uncle, nicely, not to snuggle the baby if his clothing is smoky. Ask him to put on a clean top. Or explain your concerns and say that you'd rather he didn't hold the baby at all. But babies are a joy for the extended family and in the UK we've really lost touch with that. A generation ago it was perfectly acceptable for a passing stranger to stroke a baby's cheek with a finger without the ensuing hysteria about 'germs'. We used to rejoice in our new babies and enjoy other people's harmless enjoyment of them. Nowadays it feels like new parents glare at people if they even cast a glance over their pram. It's a real shame. I'm just glad I come from a part of Europe where people aren't this stupid about babies and still regard them as a joyful thing for the whole community.

My brother smoked when my eldest was born, I made him wash his hands and brush his teeth before holding his niece 😂 I was absolutely neurotic though.