Would you expect her to tell you?

[Anothersquirrel]

Ive typed this out 3 times but now decided to keep it dead simple!

Would you want/expect your friend to tell you if they found out that your child had told their child they think they're gay?
(kids are 12)

YABU - yes
YANBU - no

You're going to have to try again as you didn't enable voting.

But for what it's worth, no I wouldn't say anything. Kids say lots of things. I might assume the parents already know. It's not a big deal. It's none of my business. Lots of reasons not to.

Do you mean your child said they themselves think they’re gay, or do they think their friend is gay?
Either way I wouldn’t say anything to the parents as it’s none of my business.

Thank you !
Ill try and enable voting ...

There's no voting attached for some reason. I'm not sure anyway. Sometimes they're not sure and sexuality can be fluid. Also what does the parent do with that info? If they mention it then they're betraying the friend. If they were stressed about the situation may be different. I think maybe it's best to wait until the child tells the parents themselves? It's a tricky one.

No, I wouldn't tell anyone. It's not my story to tell. It's down to the child and their comfort.

I mean child A has told child B they think they are gay.

Child B has told their mum.

The mums are good friends.

Would you, as mum of child A, want or expect to be told?

No.

Ive asked for MN to enable voting.

No, it's not the mother's place to tell the other mother. Its for the child to tell their mother if and when they choose to.

No

nuna your business

No.

No I wouldn’t absolutely none of my business

Absolutely not. It is for the child to decide who they might want to tell and when.

Absolutely not

No, I don't think the mum of child A would take kindly to hearing this from another mum. She'd likely feel a bit blindsided if her child hadn't confided in her themselves. It might turn into a shoot the messenger situation. Also it puts child B in an awkward position having betrayed their friend's trust by telling their mum and this could cause issues in the friendship

Ive tried to keep this vague to help put yourself in both sets of (mum) shoes and then decide which is best.

absolutely

At 12? No. Many kids think they’re this, that and the other at 12 and decide they’re not a couple of years later. If they really are gay, they will tell their parent when they feel comfortable.

No, if my child thought they were gay but hadn’t told me themselves I would wait until they were ready and certainly wouldn’t want another Mum telling me (and if they did I’d still pretend I hadn’t heard it).

If my child told me their friend had confided that they think they’re gay, I’d encourage my child to be supportive, apply no pressure etc. and to keep that information to themselves and I’d also tell nobody.

Do we go around announcing our children are straight? At 12? No.

No. They are not to be expected to divulge this kind of thing. It's up to the child/ person themselves

So nobody here, if they were child A's mum, would be angry with child B's mum for not saying anything?

No one would think - 'you could have given me a head's up!'. ?

No, definitely not. I wouldn't intrude. Not my business, sensitive area.

No.

In fact I'm struggling to think of a scenario where I would be discussing it anyway, so I would likely never know that Bs mum knew.

No, because I'd expect my DC to say it to me when they wanted to.

So the friend told his mum? "That's nice, dear", and move on.

Kids say all sorts at that age. If the mum interrogated me later (Why didn't you tell me?) I'd say that they're always coming out with stuff and they might change their mind tomorrow so I'd ignored it.

No, not at all, not regarding sexuality.

If the child had disclosed self-harm, mental health struggles, sexual assault etc. then I’d like to be informed to help my child but regarding a 12 year-old thinking they’re gay, nah.