AIBU to feel overwhelmed leaving long relationship, and leaving my whole life behind.

[Newstartxx]

At my lowest and feel overwhelmed, I lost everything in one go, need some advice please .

Ex dp and I spilt in Jan I am living in the house in separate rooms our adult children still live here.

I have to leave as we are not married and we no longer love each other, fair enough I want to go after 20 years.

I have cats so need to find somewhere who will take them in, along with me so renting.

I will never give my cats up.

Daughter has been unwell , hospital apps and I’ve been dealing with it all alone with both our adult children and their problems , no support from their Dad at all.

Dd wants to go to uni but the spilt, and her exams next month and everything else really not so sure right now what will happen .

Im not coping still going to work, but sad lonely and I have literally knowone my Dad had dementia my mum and I are not close.

I just drink now and am I’m so unhappy , sorry judge me but along with the peri menopause I feel I’ve lost everything my whole life In one bitter blow.

I feel sad for leaving they will probably stay as their dad has money I cant offer that.

Sorry your going through this.
It will be tough now because you have no stability but you are at the start of a new chapter. Do what you can to find your own home and start living for yourself. Do you have any friends? Any old friends you could reconnect with? If not, maybe look at social groups in the area or invite colleagues out for a meal or a housewarming once you're settled.
Things will get better.

The only way is up OP.
Focus on work and finding your new home: you can make it exactly how you want it; it will be your safe haven with your beloved cats.
After that you can work towards your next step.

I’ve signed up for AA and I’m going to church next week , this is the next step for me .

Well done for taking positive steps OP.
You will feel that much better if you can take control of the drinking - no judgement from me btw because my history is one of turning to alcohol when things are tough.
And I totally sympathise with your love of your cats. I hope you find somewhere suitable for you and them.
Best wishes.

Thank you to those who responded .

I literally have knowone took care of everyone except myself , it’s not been easy ,work have been great and supportive .

I just have so much to do before I leave it hurts becuase I did my best was not good enough for any of them , it makes my heart sad.

You did your best OP and no one can do more than that.

And do they really think it wasn't good enough? Sounds more like you judging yourself harshly.

It's not your fault your DD isn't well. It's not your fault you and your partner no longer love each other - that's a two way thing and it happens in relationships, especially long term ones.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.

Please don't turn to drink to cope with this disappointment. It may work short term but it will inevitably just make things worse . It could affect your job and thus the ability to support yourself. If you are unhappy being with him , seperation will prove to be a good thing . You need to speak to someone about your financial situation.If you have contributed or the house is in both your names you might be entitled to some help.