Son never says i love you

[Chickencuddle]

My son hardly ever says i love you and never has. Very very rarely in response he might say love you too. Hes nearly 11. He has always been this way. Im ok with it. He shows love in other ways and is a caring boy. I just worry about the future and him being able to express himself as he is so internal. With everything. Would you worry or not?

No

No. We're all different

I would worry but probably only because I’m a worrier.

Is he empathetic? Kind? Good natured? Does he show affection in other ways? These are more important that saying words repeatedly.

I do get that it must be hard though. As long has he is able to demonstrate affection and form close bonds it will be fine.

I don't think that is abnormal. As long as you keep telling him you love him, he will know.
Like you say if he demonstrates his love with physical acts, that shows his feelings - just in a different way.

He will come for a hug. He is quietly kind. He always puts others first and thinks of others. But isnt loud about it so often it doesnt get noticed much by others. I see it though. He is never mean or rough like some other boys in school and is very gentle natured.

my 12 year hasn't ever either.
When I say i love him, he says "er, ok".
But he is gentle, kind, thoughtful, loves animals and is very caring.
he's autistic so struggles to express his emotions out loud, it doesn't mean he doesn't feel them.
I know he loves me anyway :)

People are different. I don't say it to my parents either. Makes me feel awkward.

I probably said it to my mum when I was very little but I don't think I ever said it to either of my parents after around 7 or 8. But then they never said it me, so....

My gran and especially my nan, however, I said it to them my whole life.

This was my son until he turned 17. We had a chat about it when he was about 6 and he told me he just couldn't physically say it but that if he squeezed my thumb it showed he was feeling it. I always felt he loved me so just accepted it. I always worried he'd struggle with relationships but he met a lovely girl at 17 and literally changed overnight. He's nearly 20 now, still with her and says it a lot more easily.

Look up love languages. There are several ways that someone can express love.

I’ve never said it to my parents in 54 years and won’t be starting now. Never has crossed my mind to say it.

When I was young my mum always would hold my hand and squeeze it 3 times for I Love You. I’ve done this with my own children. They are 19&17 and do tell me they love me but when they were younger they’d use that so they didn’t say it out loud. Occasionally I’ll get a hand squeeze and it’s like our little code

For those of us "of a certain age", we never heard it from parents, nor said it to them. It is a very recent thing to say it so often and, one could argue, renders it pretty meaningless.

I don’t like hugging and can’t remember the last time I told my mum I love her and I love her very much. She knows I lover her without saying it

I have friend and her large family who tell each other the love each other all the time, at least 100 times a day (ok might be a bit of an exaggeration) and they absolutely hate each other to the very core

please don’t worry about it. There are many ways to show love

People have very different love languages. My 11 year old tells me she loves me all the time but hates hugs and has rarely hugged me since she’s been about 5 years old. My 8 year old will constantly hug me but rarely says he loves me.

My twenty one year old daughter doesn't say it, I don't think she did at that age either. She doesn't do hugs, she shows she cares in different ways though. I wouldn't make a thing of it. I still say it to her as it's important she hears it. Hopefully he'll get there.

my DS didn’t say it at that age either. he’s 17 now and says it all the time!

'He shows love in other ways'
That is actually far more meaningful than verbally telling you he loves you.
So many people say 'I love you' in a casual throwaway manner that the expression's meaning has become terribly diluted. Your DS shows love in other, real ways. He'll be fine.

My adult children never say it and I don’t very often but we have very loving relationships,no complications and we are all comfortable with each other.
We all show our love and affection in many other ways.