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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset DP drank, napped and disappeared on Mother’s Day?

43 replies

IsItMe24 · 15/03/2026 21:01

Just had a baby 2 weeks ago so I don’t know whether I’m being too hormonal here. DP stayed up drinking last night so this morning I still got up with the kids etc. but he did come down and do half the breakfast before going back up for a nap, and he’d left a present on the table. After waking up (about 2 hours later) he then tidied whilst I dealt with the kids all day (and then he went to take his kids to a relatives house an hour away as they were all going out for a family meal. He was gone for around 4 hours because he apparently went to the shops and then stopped at the pub on the way back to watch football.
AIBU to be annoyed about this? He’s not a big celebration guy so I suppose I shouldn’t be annoyed that he didn’t put much effort in on Mother’s Day. And I don’t know whether that’s partially what’s wrong, as baby has been unsettled all day so dealing with a toddler as well has been a bit stressful, especially bedtime and cooking with baby crying the whole time. And I do generally make a big deal of occasions so I was probably a bit sad that my day has felt harder work than normal with him not really present.
I had to ask him where he’d been as well as he strolled in and said nothing. And he is now pissed off at me as he thinks I’m checking up on him and doesn’t understand why it matters that I didn’t know he was doing a couple of ‘pit stops’. So AIBU here and just being too sensitive? He’s currently now in a mood with me and I’m sat here crying like a possible idiot and I can’t tell!

OP posts:
Jeska7 · 15/03/2026 22:03

You have a right to be upset any day but even more so on Mother’s Day.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 15/03/2026 22:03

Happytap · 15/03/2026 21:02

Why would you put up with this? You and the kids deserve more.

Couldn’t have put it better myself I’d be leaving this waste of space

DownTurpinRoad · 15/03/2026 22:07

You had a baby two weeks ago and you’re getting up with multiple kids while he sleeps off a hangover? Fuck that whether it’s Mother’s Day or not.

readingmakesmehappy · 15/03/2026 22:25

Fathers of 2 week old babies should not be staying up drinking for a start. You can’t parent a newborn when you’re hungover. You deserved a much nicer day.

Tacohill · 15/03/2026 22:37

take his kids to a relatives house an hour away as they were all going out for a family meal.

Why did you not go?
Were you not invited?

IWaffleAlot · 15/03/2026 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WaryHiker · 16/03/2026 00:17

Yes, your boyfriend is a bit of a wanker, but you already knew that. The question is what you're going to do about it? By the way, women are their own worst enemies when they constantly put things down to their hormones or allow the men in their lives to do so.

Chloe2434 · 16/03/2026 04:37

This reply has been deleted

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IwaffleAlot …. That was rude and nasty!!

99bottlesofkombucha · 16/03/2026 05:23

IsItMe24 · 15/03/2026 21:25

Yes sorry, he has two kids from a previous relationship who he had to take which is fair enough. Then we have a toddler as well as a 2 week old

Did his ex leave him as that was the only way she could ever imagine him parenting in any useful way?

IsItMe24 · 16/03/2026 06:43

Tacohill · 15/03/2026 22:37

take his kids to a relatives house an hour away as they were all going out for a family meal.

Why did you not go?
Were you not invited?

No I wasn’t invited. His kids were going for a meal with their mum, grandmother, aunt etc from their maternal side of the family. My partner wasn’t going either, just dropping them off as their mum was already up there for the weekend

OP posts:
Masalacha · 16/03/2026 06:43

Do not have any more children with this waste of space!!

sunsetsites · 16/03/2026 07:17

Seriously how do we get women to stop having children with men like this?!

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2026 07:39

IsItMe24 · 16/03/2026 06:43

No I wasn’t invited. His kids were going for a meal with their mum, grandmother, aunt etc from their maternal side of the family. My partner wasn’t going either, just dropping them off as their mum was already up there for the weekend

Oh so dropped them off. Then had a few hours to himself while you struggled with 2 small children

then went to the pub

you know he was wrong to do all that

now do you call him out on it and say it’s not on or put up with it or think about leaving - which I’m sure you won’t just having a baby

MyKindHiker · 16/03/2026 07:41

It being mother’s day is a red herring. This wouldn’t be acceptable ever

ISpyNoPlumPie · 16/03/2026 07:58

God these stories are ten a penny. Kids from a previous relationship, more kids with new partner (not married of course), awful father, awful man, is it me and my HORMONES? Am I being unreasonable? Seriously, what happened to you? He is NOT A GOOD MAN.

It’s a real shame that when it comes to the most important decision you can ever make, you’ve made a really bad decision. However, you cannot change the past now. You can only decide if this is how you want to continue being treated in the future. I think it is also worth considering why you’ve let someone treat you like this.

DownTurpinRoad · 16/03/2026 08:06

ISpyNoPlumPie · 16/03/2026 07:58

God these stories are ten a penny. Kids from a previous relationship, more kids with new partner (not married of course), awful father, awful man, is it me and my HORMONES? Am I being unreasonable? Seriously, what happened to you? He is NOT A GOOD MAN.

It’s a real shame that when it comes to the most important decision you can ever make, you’ve made a really bad decision. However, you cannot change the past now. You can only decide if this is how you want to continue being treated in the future. I think it is also worth considering why you’ve let someone treat you like this.

Yes! Yes to this!

So many women on MN mothering their own children and doing the father’s job parenting his other kids while he pisses about ‘being a bloke’. It’s infuriating.

Tuesdayschild50 · 18/03/2026 06:36

Your feelings matter here you have just had a baby.. he is acting like an idiot and has no right being in a mood with you.
Your needs and the children's are more important especially on mothers day .. you will feel frazzled at the moment but in the future I would think about not putting up with his attitude and behaviour tell him to step up be less thoughtless he has a young family time he grew up . X

DearDenimEagle · 19/03/2026 07:39

Why have kids with someone who doesn’t meet your expectations for these things? Your day sounds like mine were, insofar as I got zero assistance with children, at all, ever, until they could walk and talk, dress and feed themselves. Mothering Sunday did not exist in our house. Nor did he do housework or any ‘women’s work’
Anyway, Nor did Fathers Day…so you know what to do in June ..nothing. Go out, leave him to get on with it. You will have recovered from the birth by then.
I couldn’t..my kids would have not been alive when I got back 😂 but it seems yours does do some stuff re helping out. So let him have a child full Fathers Day ..and you go have a child free day

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