To not want to go to a wedding?

[BePinkRaven]

AIBU?

Context: My husband has a friend, well I would say acquaintance. Known each other about three years through a sport club. They see each other three / four times a year as the friend is in the forces.

My husband was asked to be this guys best man at his wedding. He said yes. I was shocked at this because honestly they hardly knew each other but my husband agreed to it (He wa too nice to say no). I've meet him a couple of times.

They told my husband the wedding was the Saturday after spring bank before kids go back to school. Now this is the time we always take family holiday abroad as my 3 kids get two weeks off. We had decided italy and wanted to do 10 days as my Son moves to high school next year so last year he will have 2 weeks off.

My husband and I had some discussions about this. As at first it looked like we may have to skip wedding due to flights - he didn't want to but I said I didn't want to forfeit family time / holiday especially when we need to take advantage of the last 2 week may break.

I looked at so many flight options and found one that got is back the day before the wedding (& one that was not too expensive)

I kept asking my husband to find out wedding times but we just got the official invite through last week. Bus is coming to evening venue @ 9.30am to take everyone to the ceremony venue then it's a full day thing.

I really wasn't bothered about the wedding and then finding out the times just made me not want to go. We will get home about 4pm day before and like everyone who gets back from holiday there is just alot to do before kids go back on the Monday. Id also have to ask my mum to have the kids all day or bring them.

I dont know anyone at the wedding apart from groom bride to say hello. So I told my husband I wasn't going to go.

He got mad saying that I should be going to support him as best man

I just don't want to go. Spending a whole day at wedding then having to sort everything out Sunday while husband would be hungover just is not fun.

But then I now feel guilty that im not there to support my husband.

Can you compromise and say you will go if DH promises to help get kids ready for school on Sunday, or if you suspect he would flake on that, have him do his share on Friday night? Don't have it vague... be clear about who is doing what, have him agree before you commit.

The situation does sound odd but if your DH is generally supportive of you - and will help with school prep- I think it's important to step up for him too. Would that apply here?

@BePinkRaven somethings are just easier to get on with whether you want to or not. Just go to the wedding, your DH wants you there. In fact, he’s likely to not know many people there either, so doubly wants you to go.

I’d go to support my husband, especially as it sounds like he won’t know that many ppl either. Just prep before you go on holiday for start of term. Have to say though the holiday, getting back for the wedding and start of term - you are making life stressfully!

Since when does a best man need ‘support’ at the wedding? Are adults no longer able to do basic life duties without their spouse there to hold their hands? 🙄

YABU. He's the best man so he has to go and, yes, I would expect my DW to come with me.

It's one day and it will cause some dislocation and difficulty but not that much.