AIBU to want to stay in our home temporarily?

[Annon2026]

Looking for some non bias opinions please. Me and my ex (not married) own a house together and have 2 small infant primary aged children. We have split and are currently sorting how we move forward. Everything has gone fine apart from the living arrangements. I have asked to stay in the family home for the next 2 years to make sure the kids have the stability of there home while they get used to the split. I am able to afford the mortgage and bills on my own so won’t require him to pay anything other than child maintenance. (My salary does not allow me to buy him out as I can’t get the mortgage on my own) He has refused and said the house will need to be sold or he will stay living here until I am ready to sell. He earns more than be by approx 20k so can afford to rent somewhere temporarily. I think what I am asking is reasonable but I just want opinions please, because it’s hard to know for sure. just to add, we don’t have a spare bedroom so there is nowhere to sleep separately.

also any advice anyone can give on where i stand legally would be great.

thank you!

You're prolonging the inevitable i'm afraid OP. "I have asked to stay in the family home for the next 2 years to make sure the kids have the stability of there home while they get used to the split"
And 2yrs to get used to you splitting up is OTT. It won't take them 2yrs to get used to it.

Yes it’s unfair for you to keep his share of the equity the house has accumulated since you purchased the property together and on top of that you want him to waste his net wages on renting for the next two years.

I’m guessing that if you can’t afford to buy him out, you’ll struggle to get an alternative mortgage on your own, unless you massively downsize? I’m also guessing you feel he should be more sympathetic to your situation as you will be caring for his children? Unfortunately, a split is a split. You share the assets, childcare and costs of raising those children. How each of you manage to do this is your own responsibilities.

You need to sell. He wants his half and rightly so!

You need to sell and find somewhere for you and your children to live. Yes it's temporarily unsettling for them but they will adjust and be fine. Life is full of change and your children will have to deal with changes and uncertainty. The good news is while they're this little you are their anchor and their home. If mum is there, they will be ok. Sell the house and move on with your life and establish a new routine with your little ones. It will all work out 💐

That 20k in a year won't go no where if he's having to private rent and pay maintenance.

I wouldn't choose to make myself broke no, stay or sell seems fair, sorry OP.

Tbh I can’t see the value of staying for 2 years. Make a clean break and a new start for you and the kids.

OP, most people I know who have been in your situation have begged & borrowed the money to buy him out - usually from parents - who have then acted as guarantor for the mortgage. I know not everyone has the bank of mum & dad available, but could be a possibility...
Maybe get some legal advice from a family solicitor on your rights and the best way forward. When I was getting divorced I had no clue where to even start, and had an hour's phone call with a solicitor for £79 which was v helpful. But I think you'll find he has every right to stay on in house if you refuse to sell.

If they were married, she still couldn’t force this.

He is being reasonable-selling the house and splitting the equity asap is the best thing to do here-nothing is going to change in 2 years and why should he have to spunk thousands in rent?

Sorry OP I know this is difficult but you are being unreasonable. You can’t expect him to put his life on hold for two years. Sell the house and find a place of your own. The kids will be adjust