To feel like I am now drifting through life without any agenda of my own…

[OnlyNans]

Hi. This is not a moanie post because I have a very good life, and healthy in my late forties. Maybe this is mid life crisis, but I genuinely don’t know what I want from the future. I have spent my younger years working from age 16, raising DD from age 21, moved to another country, two degrees, building a career, travelling as family. And when I turned 40, everything hard was “done”. So, the last several years, I feel like a have lost all drive and ambition. First, I thought I needed a break from all that achieving. And now, with time to think on holiday, I sat down to create a vision board (don’t laugh) and nothing is coming to mind. I genuinely don’t have a bucket list of places to visit, things to do, low sex drive, no new career goals, worried more about keeping my job than advancing, when I literally used to have 5 year plans. What is it - hormones, contentment, lack of imagination? How to I get alive and kicking feeling back?

Loads of people will come on here to tell you it's perimenopause and you need HRT. Which might help. But it's probably just this stage of life. Like you say, everything hard has been done.

I'm sure if you really thought about it you could find some things to look forward to. Which is the trick, I feel.

Plan a road trip the whole way around the country? Join a choir? Learn an instrument? Start a new pub quiz team? A pet?

I have similar and yes was also perimenopausal with night sweats. Being on HRT has helped me feel more at peace with this stage of life (am 45) but the lack of anything to "look forward" to is a bit depressing. I saw a nice article about how more women 50+ are living together into old age now, which made me feel quite excited. I hope that becomes more mainstream as living alone is a hard one at times.

Flip it. Where wouldn’t you want to be in life, which struggles are you glad you don’t have, what would be worst possible thing to happen that has a massive negative effect on your current life.

Then be glad you are where you are and you have what you have. Enjoy yourself knowing all the hard work is done and now you get to float through life enjoying every day as it comes.