My only DS is 28, he has 5 children. 4 daughters with his girlfriend from when he was at uni, she’s only 25, the children are 5, 4, 3 and 2. They broke up while she was pregnant with the youngest, he has never met the youngest by his own choice, he hasn’t seen any of them in about 3 years. To me their mother is a miracle worker, she works 20 hours a week, has no family, and I still see my granddaughters, they are polite, well behaved, clearly very loved.
My son also has a 5 month old son with his new girlfriend.
As I knew my son wouldn’t bother I sent his ex a Mother’s Day gift, just some nice flowers, wine, chocolate and a gift card for a restaurant near her I know she likes to take the children too, and a card signed with my granddaughters names. I didn’t get anything for his current girlfriend as I felt he should be able to get her something himself, they live together after all.
Today my son visited with my grandson and while he was here his ex tried to call. I let it ring out but he noticed her name and got very angry asking why is she calling, he doesn’t want anything to do with her, she is already robbing him (maintenance!). I explained I sent her a Mother’s Day gift as she is raising my grandchildren. He got very angry and told me if he finds out I’m still seeing her, and his daughters (not that he called them his daughters, he said “her daughters”) I will never see him or my grandson again. He also said it was mean for me to not get his current girlfriend anything.
He is generally a bit awful these days, not very nice and has an awful attitude but never before have I seen him so angry.
Was I unreasonable to get his ex something and not his current girlfriend? How do I move forward from here?