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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH wants to take DC to his mother's today?

22 replies

mommmm · 15/03/2026 12:12

Basically my OH wants to take DC to his mother's today.

I find this so weird and strange.

His reasoning is that it would mean the world for his mum to see her son with his kids on Mother's Day.

His dad passed away years ago and sadly didnt get to meet the children.

I was looking forward to having a day with them but he is making me feel bad as he says "you see them everyday".

He is seeing his mum in the evening (kids will be asleep by then).

AIBU?

OP posts:
Tootiredforthis23 · 15/03/2026 12:15

If you don’t have any specific plans and he’s made some effort to treat you today then I don’t see the problem with him taking the DC there. If anything you’ll get a couple of hours to relax by yourself, DH has previously done this Mother’s Day if we haven’t had plans to go out anywhere and it works nicely for everyone. Surely you can go with them though if you want to spend the whole day with your DC?

ExtraOnions · 15/03/2026 12:15

I would imagine that there were enough hours in the day to do both of these things

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 15/03/2026 12:17

Can he take them for a couple of hours and then you have some time to yourself?

Although should have been discussed before today.

Original poster
mommmm · 15/03/2026 12:17

His mum is at the care home visiting his nan and won't be back until the evening.
We live 45 minutes away and by the time goes there it will be time to get the kids ready for bed.

I still got up with DC, made them breakfast etc.
It would of been nice for me to have a rest and a lie in since I have not had one in 1.5 years.

I did get a card and some chocolates though.

OP posts:
TheDenimPoet · 15/03/2026 12:21

Can't you go with him? You're not the only mother here, she's one too, and will want to see her son and grandchildren.

TomatoSandwiches · 15/03/2026 12:21

If it disrupts bedtime then no, he can stick to his previous plan.

tinyspiny · 15/03/2026 12:24

Id tell him it’s fine as long as he is going to deal with getting them into bed when he gets in because you will be enjoying your evening by that point . If he doesn’t want to do bedtime he can leave them at home .

BillyBites · 15/03/2026 12:34

Why did you make the breakfast? Surely that was his job today?

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/03/2026 12:35

Yanbu. You want to spend time with them on mothers day so you should do, they are your children not hers.

JLou08 · 15/03/2026 12:36

There's nothing weird or strange about him wanting to take the children to see his mother on mothers day.
It is strange that he didn't even bother getting up and giving you a lie in on mother's day. I think you're focused on the wrong thing. There's plenty of time in the day for him to do something for you and his mother.

19lottie82 · 15/03/2026 12:54

I think it’s totally reasonable for his to take the DC to see his Mum, but I would expect him to have planned the day so it fits in around you.

CoralOP · 15/03/2026 13:03

I couldn't think of anything finer than having a day to myself!

Original poster
mommmm · 15/03/2026 13:13

It's the context in which he says it as if she is DC mother like "Well it's his nan, she would see them Mother's Day".

She has never bought them anything for birthdays/ Christmas , no effort on her part.
DC always have to go to her house.

And if OH did take them it would be be that would have to deal with bed time as one DC already takes ages to settle down.

OP posts:
CandiedPrincess · 15/03/2026 13:19

Just go? We are taking DH's mum and dad out for dinner today. Kills two birds with one stone. Can't see the issue here at all. There are plenty of hours in the day,

Sunshineclouds11 · 15/03/2026 13:22

My kids are currently at their grandmas, I've had a nap, bliss.
going to pick them up soon to go to my mums for dinner.
it's a win win surely?

BeeDavis · 15/03/2026 13:27

I don’t get why he can’t take them to see this mum? We’ve been to see my MIL this morning, what’s the big issue? Been to see my mum aswell. Why do you need ALL day?

Original poster
mommmm · 15/03/2026 13:45

Sorry.
His mum is not available until about 7pm.
His mum is currently visiting her own mother in a care home.

We live 45 minutes away

OP posts:
IwishIcouldconfess · 15/03/2026 13:47

TomatoSandwiches · 15/03/2026 12:21

If it disrupts bedtime then no, he can stick to his previous plan.

Heaven help bedtime being disrupted once

tinyspiny · 15/03/2026 13:57

IwishIcouldconfess · 15/03/2026 13:47

Heaven help bedtime being disrupted once

Show quote history

I’m not usually one to worry about bedtimes but in this case I don’t see why the OP should be disrupting her day for somebody who obviously doesn’t really care anyway .

Cherrytree86 · 15/03/2026 14:35

Why do you go for a run or to the gym or paint your nails or read a book or something?? Enjoy some ‘me time’ as a person in your own right @mommmm

TunafishSandwich · 15/03/2026 14:42

So you’re moaning about having to get up with them and make them breakfast but you’re also moaning about the prospect of having a break whilst your husband takes them to see their grandmother?

I think you need to make up your mind (and get a grip).

TunafishSandwich · 15/03/2026 14:45

TomatoSandwiches · 15/03/2026 12:21

If it disrupts bedtime then no, he can stick to his previous plan.

I love how a complete stranger on the internet thinks they get to overrule the choices someone makes with their own children.

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