Mothers Day 2026 Disappointment Thread

[Tinklapo]

Starting a thread for those of us who feel disappointed, unappreciated and let down this Mothers Day.

I’ll start. DH went away to stay with his mum this weekend (2 hours away, nice thought as she’s elderly and unsure how many more Mother’s Days there will be). He said he would be home at 12 so I (stupidly) assumed we would do something as a family but this morning he has told me that he won’t be home until this evening as he’s going to a football match local to his mums.

He’s left me no card, no gift and now I need to spend today doing what I do every day and look after the kids, do all the cooking etc. Feeling totally unappreciated.

We had a conversation last week about Mother’s Day and I said one thing I would love is some time to myself to recharge my batteries. I’ll be making sure I book myself for a long spa weekend next Mother’s Day!

Yes, I get this. DS didn’t have a gift for me for Christmas or my birthday (he’s 5)(neither did DH…) so I bought something for him to give me on Mothers Day. I’ve asked DH for the money 3 times. I know I won’t get it, as it was spent in the pub last night…

I received nothing, no cards, no flowers, no chocolates but I’m happy with that. My DC are adults and decent humans but Mothering Sunday is a day we have never bothered with. I’m happy that they appreciative of me all year round and not just one day. My DD lives 100 miles away and I am seeing her in a couple of weeks. She may buy lunch she may not but we will enjoy our day together.

if it’s a big deal for you and you are disappointed try to look at the bigger picture.

Not a mention (DP and DC1(15) + DC2(12) in their rooms all morning) until DC2 and I went to the Co-OP this afternoon and I popped a cake in my basket 'for a Mother's Day tea'. "What, is it today?" was DC2's only response. DC1 shouted a "Happy Mother's Day!" down the stairs a bit later, but that was all. Not even when we were eating the cake did anyone mention it. Not sure if I'm sad or just very, very over it. Usually, DP manages flowers, a card and some chocolates (or a fancy-pants artisanal cheese board with crackers) but this year, despite us both having been beset by hart times, a small nod of appreciation would have gone a long way.

Maybe they, like me, dislike the whole concept and find it something of a commercialised circus with which they’d rather not engage? I’m not trying to be rude- I genuinely have no time for the whole nonsense and won’t be forced into engaging in it out of guilt/expectation. Does it not ring hollow if they only do it as you’ve strong-armed everyone into it? Would you not prefer genuine acts of care and appreciation that aren’t prompted?

As a mother, I neither want, nor need, cards/ gifts/ being fussed over or “spoilt” on some arbitrary day- I know my family love and care for me because they each show it in their own ways. I love my mother and attempt to show my appreciation of her, but I don’t want to do it by “making a fuss” of her on demand. Luckily, my mother is of a similar view.

The idea that you ingrain Mother’s Day rituals is a bit off, in my view, You might be able to enforce your children into performative demonstration when they are young, but once they’ve reached adulthood they do get to decide how they show their appreciation.

Equally possible is that they don’t set much store by it, have busy lives and they just forgot.

nothing.just like christmas and my birthdays.teen and young adults.

Good for you. You don’t need to care. You don’t need your kids to make this gesture. Fine. No need to belittle those for whom it is important, though, right?

Relationships are about what the individuals involved in them want and need. Our kids expect us to observe their birthdays, to bail them out in a crisis, to fund university, to offer a roof over their heads if they have issues, to provide childcare for DGCs if needed - the list goes on and is endless. All SOME mothers ask in return is a card, a text, or a hug. Just a five minute gesture once a year in return for decades of unrelenting and unconditional love and support. If a woman has communicated over their children’s life times that, for her, taking those moments IS important to her then her kids should bloody well make a tiny effort.

You can think it’s artificial, commercial, enforced - but aren’t birthdays, Christmases, anniversaries just the same? I can assure you that my kids would be gutted if I let their 18th and 21st birthdays pass unacknowledged in a few weeks. They won’t, because I am not petty. But I am absolutely fucking gutted that neither child could simply cross the room, give me a hug and say ‘happy mother’s day’ yesterday. That doesn’t make me shallow. It makes me deeply disappointed in my thoughtless, lazy children.

I'm sorry your mother's day was disappointing OP. You're not alone! It was my first mother's day yesterday and I'd mentioned for a couple of weeks how excited I was for it and how special it would be as first time mum. My partner gave me a few half hearted cheap gifts he got from the supermarket and a card that he forgot to write in. I was furious and so upset.

We bickered in the morning and barely spoke the rest of the day. It's not even about the money or doing anything elaborate or expensive, I would have really appreciated just a card with a heartfelt written message in. I do the majority of childcare and housework, always make his birthday and our Christmas feel really special.

We got into it a few weeks back because I felt like he doesn't appreciate everything I do for us, so I thought yesterday would be a nice chance for him to express that. Didn't expect it to be such a rubbish let down of a day. I don't wish to be petty but the same level of effort will be reciprocated on father's day haha.

I spent my Mother’s Day helping DH strip our bedroom back to nothing. He says he doesn’t want anything in our room except clothes and our bed. So I haven’t even had a Mother’s Day, just a day of chucking stuff into various bin bags (charity shop, vinted, skip) and taking things to the tip. I don’t think DH even realised it was Mother’s Day today, but I sent gifts and cards to our mums anyway, so they didn’t feel left out.
I suppose he did arrange for the children to visit their grandparents so we could crack on with the bedroom…

Absolutely

Every year on MN I am absolutely furious about the careless treatment of mothers by their partners and adult children. It’s a fucking disgrace.

Yes it’s one day and yes there are overpriced flowers and chocolates everywhere which are a waste of money. But very few mothers actually give a shit about that and most just want a day where they’re rightly recognised and treated nicely by the people that they spend every other day looking after.

Men who can’t be arsed, men who actively resent being required to do the bare minimum for the person they are supposed to love, men who don’t help younger children make a fuss of their mums. The standards are through the floor.

It is an indication of the extent to which women are expected to put up with whatever shit is thrown at them and be grateful for it. Use this as a catalyst to either change their behaviour or leave them behind.

👏 👏 👏 - very well put. I am sorry that your off spring were crap yesterday!

Thank you - thing is I DO know that they love me. It’s just the lack of effort when I have spent decades bending myself into a pretzel making sure they have what they need. I’ll let it go, as I do most years, but I have told them in no uncertain terms that relationships need nurturing on both sides and that they will need to do better if they want positive relationships with friends and partners. It’s not about mother’s day really; it’s about recognising that any relationship won’t work if they it’s one-sided, that they need to attend to their friend/partners’ needs if they want them to feel cared for. It’s a life lesson, really.

They USED to be such lovely, thoughtful kids until puberty… 😭

So random. No she doesn't. for you @Seeline

Urgh! This was my first Mother’s Day and I got a card! No offer to do the early wake up, or tea in bed, and a half-assed offer to go to the shop and get some breakfast bits. I wondered why he couldn’t have thought ahead a bit, it’s not like we had a busy weekend!

On the other hand, his MIL popped by and proudly showed off a card and small, thoughtful gift from my partner!

I feel ridiculous feeling so stung but hey ho

Entitled?!! I'm asking - is it unreasonable to expect a card from my adult children? I'm not wanting, or expecting presents, meals, outings. Just a card. I've bent over backwards for my DS. He's back living at home after uni, making life for DH and I very difficult, so he can save for a deposit. Not a word of thanks. I don't think wanting a fucking card makes me hard work!! Just something to show appreciation.

@Seeline I understand. I've said many times to my adult kids that all I want is a card from each of them. The effort still isn't there and that hurts. They are old enough and capable enough to understand that the needs of others count.

Just want to let this out here and then I can move on.

Went out for dinner yesterday, local independent Turkish place (although they have recently expanded and taken over the restaurant next door too). Nothing on website about Mother's day menu etc.

Well when we arrived, in the pissing rain (we are a 10 minute walk away so cab / car was pointless) we were shown to our table and handed the menu. Kids meals were £4 more expensive each than on the online menu and adults only had the option of 2 or 3 course. When I queried this I was told this is the only menu available today and I should have been told at time of booking.

At this point we are hungry, we are cold and wet and there is no way we would be able to find a table for us all anywhere else so we were stuck!

My food was good but the service was shit. We waited an hour for our food and we were all demented with hunger by this point. No offer of any bread or olives or anything. Even the drinks took 15 minutes to come.

We had: 2 courses and 1 soft drink each (x2 adults) and kids (x3) having 1 main and 1 soft drink each and sharing x1 dessert we ended up with a £155 bill, I had the service removed but it was still almost £140!

Honestly I was hopping!

I guess it was partly my own fault, I never normally book tables on "big" days as I know they mark the menu up and we could have left when we saw that they were taking the piss with the prices but really what would we have done? Walked home in the rain and ordered a take away?

As a family of 5 eating out is now reserved to special occasions and my kids are good kids who enjoy the pleasure that comes with eating out, yesterday went some way to dent that enjoyment!!

I kept a lid on it as DP paid and the kids were there but I was so fucked off!

Anyway, this was cathartic! I am off to leave an honest review now (food was great, service was poor, price mark up was a piss take!)

Sending hugs to you x

I'm sorry x

What's he like on other occasions like your birthday?

I think the majority of women on this thread should focus less on mothers day and more on their much needed divorce proceedings.

Honestly, what is the point of these men

Please allow me to extend my apologies for initially misreading/misunderstanding your reply and thinking that you’d referred to your child as a dog 🤣🤣🤣

Both my DC forgot - both teens. One realised in the evening and was mortified / apologised profusely, the other was doing a really important event, which I took her too, and I wasn't expecting her to remember but what I'm gutted about is that DH didn't forget he just said it wasn't his job to remind them at this age.

If DH just dismissed it as a Hallmark day that'd be one thing but he sent his own mother flowers and a message in the morning on a group chat I'm on but didn't think to give our DC a gentle nudge to make sure they'd remembered. I gave him so many opportunities during the day e.g. after DD's event I went to take my own mother some flowers (she's in a nursing home and has dementia) and he asked me what the plan was for dinner.

I didn't think I cared much about mother's day and i'm really surprised how much it's upset me. I keep crying about it. And DH cannot understand why I'm upset. I work really hard to make things special for the rest of the family on their birthdays etc and in other ways, when they have friends round, do all the laundry and cooking on top of my job and hold so many other little things every day. And I would always, always remind the DC about father's day. Even for DH to have said 'sorry I know it's a bit rubbish for you that they haven't remembered, let's do something nice together to make up for it' would have made a difference but literally nothing but him saying I'm always finding reasons to get at him. I feel really, really sad.

I'm really sorry - that is v disappointing. Happy Mother's Day to you for yesterday. The first year of being a mother is a huge adjustment and I bet you are doing an awesome job. I hope you can do something nice for yourself today to make up for it

Shitty men, self centered teenage/adult children.
Thank god I don't have either in my life.
How depressing.