Want to tell us about your mum?

[Apologynotaccepted]

Mine was short and feisty and loved DiY which she was terrible at. She brought us all up on her own and every day I knew how much she loved me and was proud of me. She loved dark chocolate ginger and inspector morse and was formidable despite being exactly five foot tall. Happy Mothers Day mum I was so lucky x

My mum was the only girl of four children. She was smart, feisty, hard working and loved to travel. She was widowed at 51, my dad was 54. She met another man a few years later who was driving them both home on return from holiday but lost concentration and killed her and another woman in a head on collision. She was 69.
That was ten years ago now. Mother’s Day is very bittersweet.

My mum would have done anything for me. Her love and pride were unconditional and I will never have anything close to that again. She loved simple pleasures, nature, animals, family, food and music, and just life really. She died younger than I am now, and when I'm having a moan I think how much she'd have appreciated a fraction of what I take for granted.

My mum was just ace. She was from Yorkshire and you knew where you were with her. If she didn't like something you did then you'd know about it. She loved her children and grandchildren with such ferocity. She was a bit hampered with her health but she bloody well got on with it. Daffodils were one of her favourite flowers and I buy myself a bunch when I'm feeling a bit down.
I miss her so much. She's been gone for 13 years now and I am still shedding a tear writing this 💔

My mother and I had a difficult relationship. She died 14 years ago and although it was never easy to navigate a relationship with her, I dearly wish she was still here for us to keep trying.
She found it very hard to show love, but I know deep down she loved me. She loved crosswords, Radio Devon and working in our local charity shop. She was well liked with one or two very close long term friends.

My mum was awful, emotionally immature, verbally abusive, always the victim. She’d ignore me for days if I’d done something unacceptable in her eyes. If she didn’t get her own way she was abusive. I remember I was around 6/7 and was scared to go sleep, she threatened to put her head in the gas oven if I didn’t behave, stop crying and go to sleep. On hindsight I withdrew into myself after that.

My auntie was like a mum to me though 🥰. She was a hospital auxiliary, she had a larger than life personality and made me feel warm and fuzzy when she cuddled me. She loved to travel and used to tell me about all of her adventures on holiday. I still have the little dolls she brought me back a few times a year from different countries and she always encouraged me to travel. She was kind, and compassionate but she stood for no nonsense and often told my mother off for the way she treated us. I used to go to live with her sometimes when I was small as my mother suffered with “her nerves”, I moved in with her when I was 15 and she encouraged me to go to Uni, she was my biggest cheerleader. I miss her every day, she died late last year.

She's funny, unbeatable at Scrabble, great cook, and an all round top person.

She's put others first all her life and is now learning to put herself first. It's great to see

My mum was intelligent, worldly and extremely modest. She dedicated her life to bringing us up. She was left wing and a pacifist. She gave up her time to help others wherever she could, without ever expecting thanks or anything in return. My dad adored her. She died 25 years ago and I still miss her every day.
Thanks for this thread.

Emotionally unstable , neglectful and always the victim . Never ever accepted fault or apologised for anything .
Hasnt spoken to me for 9years … I miss what I wanted to have - a loving mum. Accepted I will never have one .

Mine was lovely. Widowed young (my dad died very suddenly), and got on with it with young, traumatised children and no family help. In many ways that was the making of her though, she was ‘more than a wife and mother’ (her words), and got herself back, as a very capable, independent lady. Always there for all us ungrateful brats, lol, but with a social life that way eclipsed my own. Musical, a great singer, gardener and animal lover. Sadly dementia took her many years before she actually died, and she knew none of us for years. I missed her for years, although she technically died just over a year ago.

My best friend, my rock. Spoke every day, sometimes more silly things, lost her four years ago to wretched dementia. She was so lovely, missing her more than ever this year. Love you mummy x

My mother was a very difficult woman. She had a sad backstory and never developed any insight into how it drove her choices or behaviour. She was a pretty terrible parent and by the time she died she was estranged from most of her children. Before she died I wondered if it would bring a huge torrent of unfinished business for me but it didn't. It turned out I'd done all the heavy emotional lifting long ago. Now she's gone and I'm free of the drama of actually dealing with her, I find I can more easily recall and enjoy memories of her that were happy or amusing - things she did for us that were well-intentioned, times she helped unexpectedly, conversations that were supportive rather than spiteful. She wasn't all bad at all, it was just difficult to appreciate any of her better qualities while she was still alive and causing such unhappiness. I tend to think about her more on her birthday than on Mothering Sunday, but thank you for this thread, OP. It all helps in making my peace with the past.

My mum left us too young, she was only 46 and I struggle to believe it’s been 22 years since I last spoke to her. She was a brilliant mum, made amazing pastry and her apple pie was the best I’ve ever eaten. She could make anything happen, if she decided it needing doing then it got done and she’d figure it out as she went. I’ll never forget the weekend when dad had hired a digger and dug a massive foundation, we had the cement lorry coming the next day to fill it and dad had a heart attack. He was in hospital, getting a quadruple bypass and she rounded up us kids (19, 16, 14 and 2) we all pulled on our wellies and got into the trench spreading the concrete as it was poured because it had to get done and someone had to do it. She was a force.

This is a lovely idea. Mine was formidable and always said what she thought which some people didn't like but many admired her for it. She showed her love through time and food.

Unfortunately mine was awful. Terribly physically and emotionally abusive. I survived and sort of thrived as I got older, but it isn't easy.

She is alive, but dead to me. I barely thought of her today, only fleetingly.

I never knew what it was actually like to have a 'mum', and that's something I will always feel regretful and sad about, for me.

I don’t feel close to my mum at all which makes me very sad. I did see her today but it was out of duty. I think she maybe tried her best but I never felt like a priority and she was always telling us we were burdens. She is now reaping what she sowed

I have the loveliest children I am so so lucky. They are amazing and I feel very appreciated. I’m proud of them. It gives me comfort to know that I got the chance to be the mum to my DC and hopefully I don’t repeat my mums mistakes with another generation of children. I feel so fiercely connected to them and aware it’s an ongoing action you need to invest time and energy into, I can’t imagine doing what my mum has done and just give up on them

I have been interested reading people’s posts on this thread as they are all so different perspectives. I’m sorry for anyone who has lost their mum or didn’t really have a good bond

She took pleasure in the simple things in life, a very gentle and lovely mum. Loved hearing all about her grandchildren.She had a great SOH and we would laugh all the time. Was happy to just sit and watch her family all around her because she was a bit deaf and conversations with her had to be at full volume, even with her hearing aids in.I miss her.

My DH jokes that the seven portals of hell opened up in the last few weeks of my mother’s life. I don’t disagree.