To not understand why people go on about the impact of Covid lockdown on children

[PrunellaModularis]

It comes up all the time on MN and I don't get it.

They had several months off school, couldn"t see their friends or grandparents or do clubs. Then lockdown ended, back to school, friends, grandparents and clubs.

How come people say "because Covid" to explain young people's behaviour.

Disclaimer: I'm not talking abouy kids in abusive families.

Ignore poll - don't know how to disable it!

I'm 53 maths is my week point.

Nothing to do with covid.

Of course people move on but many are carrying collateral damage and not talking about. The kids I work with whose education and attainment is still hampered by it don’t talk about it and neither do their parents . Why would they? The damage is still there as it is for my children.

It depends how you experienced it. We live rurally so didnt experience being shut in a flat or feeling imprisoned.
We were seriously broke though as both self emoyed, so no furlogh and my husband happened to have become swelf employed in a window of time which ment you got no financial support at all. So that was scary.
Kids missed the rites of passage leaving primary school which iI found sadder than they did and they had an odd restrictive first year of high school. But they just got on with it. They are now about to leave school with good results.
My youngest felt no impact at all and doing well in high school. .

My kids reacted exactly like I would have? No school? Brilliant.
No deeper than that. We didnt really bother too much with on line school, certainly not in the first one when they were in primary.
When it finished they went reluctanly back to school, but back they went and just got on with it.

Yes we knew people who died. And they didnt see friends for a few weeks.
You cant generalize lockdown. For some it was hell, for others it was ok.

But a baby would mostly spend time with their parents - and presumably you weren't wearing masks in your own home? My kid was a toddler and lockdown had no impact on them - spent time at home with me & DH, young enough to not be fussed about playing with other kids, then restrictions lifted and back to nursery. Nursery was shut for less than 5 months in 2020 the 6 weeks over Jan/Feb 2021 where I am.
I feel for anyone who missed out on medical care or assessments due to lockdown but claiming a baby would be affected by strangers wearing masks is not plausible.

Or could it be that people will say things online that they would never admit to IRL?

Sounds like a normal sports day to me. Always one crying.

You clearly know zero about child development

I have 4 children and they were all affected differently. My now 11 year old was affected most- she missed most of reception and then quite a bit of the start of year 1 due to 'bubble' lockdowns. Of course this is subjective, but her class seem to struggle with friendships and many of the children have anxiety and appear to have a lack of resilience. I don't think you can generalise your experience with a 14/15 year old to the rest of the population. DH and I were also key workers, so it wasn't a joyful time for any of us.

Did your DS and none of any of his friends take part in sports, teams, clubs before the lockdown? No scouts? No football or swimming?

My dc of a slightly younger age did and lost all their opportunities to train and compete. For nearly 2 years in total. They did strength and conditioning sessions on zoom (weird and our house wasn't big enough) but couldn't do proper skills training, couldn't take part in any team stuff and couldn't compete at all for absolutely ages. By the time they were allowed to compete they were too old for all the entry level 'fun' stuff and expected to slot back in at a point where it is more serious and elite.

Absolutely loads of kids never rejoined their previous clubs, sports and teams and became inactive years ahead of where they naturally would have stopped as teens pre covid.

My older dc ended primary school never having had a residential, didn't do Bikeability, or school swimming. Didn't do SATs, didn't have a normal leaver's fiesta. Couldn't go to open eves at high schools and had to start year 7 at a school they hadn't been inside, with everyone wearing masks.

They are now year 11 and leaving school this year and some of their less advantaged peers have still never been on a school residential (their high school took forever to restart these things), never really gone back to bike riding and swimming, never returned to clubs and sports. They've never really been physically active in secondary. Their attendance is all over the place. There are high high rates of anxiety and mental health issues. These GCSEs are their first formal assessments as they never did SATS. Serious investment should have been put in to this group but it hasn't. And they are aging out having missed really vital formative experiences.

I agree. I completely understand everyone had a different experience but as a parent I considered my number one job in Covid was to not let my kids be afraid.
I was a health care key worker and had contact with Covid patients. My kids were never terrified. Again I appreciate different home situations but fear should never be passed to children as a matter of course.

Hopefully you can understand a bit more, reading these replies. I find your posts quite upsetting and goady. My teenage son suffered and still has a level of anxiety. Worrying about family and friends, being cut off from his friends. Having to isolate when he got Covid- I feel bad we did this. Not achieving as well at school. Spending too much time online. Dropping all his sport. 😞 It hasn’t really affected my other two in the same way .

I think that's the key difference. They leapt back into life. If you read any of the COVID boards here at the time, you'll be unsurprised that Mumsnet has some more extreme examples.

My kids were two and seven when it started. I was WFH in a ridiculously busy job. Husband out of house at work. I think that inability to cut off risk is what kept things more normal. We got out within the permitted rules. I needed it and it helped make things feel more normal looking at landscapes that have seen much more change than COVID. On here there were people who didn't leave their houses for months.

I suffered in terms of juggling everything. My son was left to do most of the caring (or at least entertaining)for a toddler.

But they look back on it quite fondly. They recovered quickly. There are a couple of gaps I could attribute to it - lack of joined up handwriting for example.

It's barely mentioned in real life among any of their friends etc. I think like most things, those who were already vulnerable suffered greater effects but this doesn't apply to the majority.

Loving the way this is being ignored by some.

blogs.city.ac.uk/bicycle/

My DC faired ok they were primary age and no major transitions during those times. They did miss a lot of socialisation, eg not going round to friends for tea after school, this didn't pick up a great deal after COVID either, but they had each other, we had pets and a garden so it was ok. For a long while after COVID both were really anxious in crowds of people anywhere that was busy they would ask to avoid. I do think the large online presences that was thrust upon DC at this time has impacted them and how much they use devices. They went from an hour twice a week on their tablets, to up to several hours a day for online learning.

A work colleagues daughter started university during COVID and lasted two terms as online learning and staying cooped up in a small bedroom in halls wasn't particularly exciting. My niece was in high school and really struggled with online learning, then attendance after COVID and staying at home for such a long period of time.

Has it affected your baby's development? Can you specifically correlate any developmental issues they have now to the lockdown period?

My child was 8 months old when we went in to the first lockdown. His development was not impacted in the slightest. We just carried on doing activities at home which were really all he needed as an infant, and then I returned to work and he joined me on Zoom calls while I WFH until nurseries opened. It was rubbish for me, but I really don't think he registered anything.

Did they do the national curriculum and have to learn as much to get basic qualifications to do anything post school?

I'd be interested to know why you think comparing 2020 with 1946 in terms of social and academic expectations and pressures is comparable.

I am happy to make this offer and I ectend it to anyone else who wishes to take it up,

I am happy to talk on zoom or otherwise to anyone who does not understand the impact it has had on people.

i worked in a secondary school through covid and my daughter and I fled physical abuse that was almost certainly triggered by my then H not coping with covid.

offer open to anyone.

If kids have online news, teenagers, then they will have been exposed to all the Covid fear. Some are more sensitive than others. One of mine genuinely thought we might all die. I only realised this afterwards when he mentioned it. He internalised it. We had no idea at the time.

Of course people move on but many are carrying collateral damage and not talking about
I'm talking about people I am close to enough to be comfortable to talk about it.

Ultimately, the correlation can't be evidenced. Many other factors come into play. The fact that it's how adults reacted to Covid and how their behaviours impacted on their children.

I think it is also an easy excuse for some parents who just struggle.

Moving on doesn't mean 'as if it never happened'.

There was a chat in the office recently about homeschooling. People can still remember it.

My husband is a university lecturer and has noticed the same. Ability to listen and follow instructions, reading comprehension, writing, and most of all, initiative, have all declined

I'd put that down to gaming, smart phones, social media. Not covid.

I take your point re sports clubs. Mine had to do a lot of S&C online which was crap. I think some benefitted though- some gave up earlier than they would have done which gave opportunities to others that would never have got them because there’s always bottlenecks accessing groups.

And what is the point of the thread?

I honestly think some lazy MNers want another lockdown to garden and bake banana bread. They don’t like any acknowledgement of the damage it caused as it puts the chance of it happening again at peril.

Bonkers!

I find these sorts of questions interesting. It seems that you are not able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagine their experience . You have your world view and that is it.

It sounds like you think that Covid is over used but can you not see how it did have an affect on other people at all? There is something of a judgemental
tone in your question - “like we were all ok so there must be something wring with the rest of you”

i can absolute imagine that there were kids who hated school but made themselves go. But when that was removed for 6 months and they realised they felt much happier without it then they couldn’t make themselves go back.

i think the impact on language and child development for very little children stuck possibly with adults and no kids would have been terrible. And the ability of kids to socialise cope with different noises out see etc. This was a problem enough of a problem with lock down puppies let alone kids !

People were really afraid. It affected what they said to there kids and conveyed about the world. Other people thought it was all made up and ignored all the rules - lucky then I say !! They probably coped mentally ok.

My Son in yr8 had a great time. Playing online with his friends. But I can still see how other kids suffered.

My daughter was younger and missed out socialising with other kids. She ended up in a weird little group in primary school and didn’t know hardly anyone when she went to secondary. Teachers missed a learning difficulty and she was horribly bullied. I don’t blame Covid entirely but it contribute to her not having a big enough circle to survive secondary and she became the kid who got bullied by everyone.