To not understand why people go on about the impact of Covid lockdown on children

[PrunellaModularis]

It comes up all the time on MN and I don't get it.

They had several months off school, couldn"t see their friends or grandparents or do clubs. Then lockdown ended, back to school, friends, grandparents and clubs.

How come people say "because Covid" to explain young people's behaviour.

Disclaimer: I'm not talking abouy kids in abusive families.

Ignore poll - don't know how to disable it!

DS was preschool age, both parents keyworkers but nursery closed for the first six months regardless. No childcare until the bubble was allowed, so he had to deal with parents tag teaming hideous shifts in one of the worst environments I've ever worked in, exhausted, stressed, potentially bringing a life threatening illness into the home every day.
Not everyone was baking sourdough and putting their feet up.

My DD was just 2 at the start.
DD is an only child.
ExH was wfh doing his own job and covering a colleagues maternity leave as she had finished as lockdown started so the company didn't get a chance to train a temp to cover. His work was relentless, he only got a week off in August when our boiler broke and we need a whole new heating system installed (ASHP), other than that he worked straight through doing 2 people's jobs.
I was working (part time) as a paramedic throughout.
We lived VERY rurally.
By the time lockdown ended (Wales) DD was 14 months older. That's a hell of a proportion of her life up to that point. So you can be damn sure it had an impact on her development and on my mental health.

Exactly what I was going to say. My son was 7 and the ONLY information he got about Covid was from his dad and I . Our wider family and friends also did the same.
We did not imply that this was a fearful or terrifying situation . We just said that there were new rules to follow to help protect everyone. He was never afraid. We’ve just discussed it and he agrees he was never scared , just knew we had to change certain things temporarily for a greater good.
Again I do of course understand peoples situations are different.

Then you’re very ignorant.
My DC were about to sit A levels and GCSEs respectively- they had good social lives having gone through times where they struggled socially, esp my eldest. My DS had just casually started seeing someone.
Thrn lockdown - immediately no social life - all future plans cancelled, exams cancelled and they had nothing to occupy themselves except going online.
Eldest slipped in to going nocturnal and getting depressed, youngest was ok for a bit but in second national lockdown he completely lost it mentally.

Eldest started uni in Sept 20 - everything was online pretty much so it was nothing like a normal experience. Her whole flat got covid within a couple of weeks and it was frankly, shit. Thank goodness it all stopped when DS went in 23.

I know loads of now young adults whose MH has been affected nearly 5 years after all restrictions lifted. I’m sure my DC’s lives would be v different now without covid lockdowns as well. There were many knock/on effects to them due to MH being poor.

I worked in ICU - I showered before I came home ( or had a bath before I touched them) - I cried in the car - I didn't let my children see the exhaustion, the stress

Well, I have one child whose many current issues are not Covid related, so I guess he wasn’t hugely impacted. But I also have a child with severe OCD following the pandemic. We naively thought it wasn’t pandemic related because he only started displaying symptoms in late 2022, but that was the tip of the iceberg following more than a year of hiding them. His education is certainly affected now as he can’t attend school, nor has he the capacity to learn from home as his brain is preoccupied with intrusive thoughts. So, yeah, thanks pandemic. I’m glad your child wasn’t hugely impacted OP, but it’s always good to be able to stretch your mind outside your complacent little bubble.

Because people missed life events.

Look into the studies that has been done they tell a lot. Like babies not knowing how to read people's faces, effect on people missing saying bye to their loved ones

For my 4.
1 missed out on her last 2 terms at uni. Her graduation wss 3 years after her actualg completion of her studies.

1 only ever had 1 .5 terms if active teaching at her uni the rest was done online. She did her uni experience online not on campus

1 missed taking his Alevel exams

1 missed taking her GCSE Exams

1 had planned om a year away in newzeland playing rugby this got cancelled as NZ shut down

People missed life events

Same here.

First school lockdown was the whole summer term, but the weather was unusually hot and sunny. Most places opened up again in July/August. We went on a UK holiday, but holiday resorts overseas opened again and people went away as usual.

Second school lockdown was only part of January and the whole of February, then back to school in March.

DC sports training was on and off for around 18 months? But definitely not cancelled for the whole of that time.

You seem to have a strange desire to dig into this.

Of course we did lots of other stuff. But trying to suggest that kids weren’t exposed to this is frankly bizarre and stupid.

This isn’t correct - GCSEs and A Levels were cancelled in 2020 and 2021 but ran as normal (with adjusted grade boundaries and some other minor modifications to the curriculum) in 2022. Students who had GCSE exams cancelled in 2020 would have sat A Levels in 2022, therefore taking exams as normal. This was a big deal, of course, because they hadn’t had formal exam experience of previous cohorts and they were definitely impacted throughout this period of their education, but they did sit exams.

Things happen to individuals all the time.

But when the same type of thing happens to a lot of individuals at the same time we get a shsred experience and that shared experience has an impact at a cohort level.

In this case we have a lot of elderly dying alone in nursing homes in a short time frame. They are alone due to a crap rule. People share the experience of not being allowed to see thier loved one, not being allowed a normal funeral (even the queen at prince phillips funeral sat alone) and they did so now knowing that those in charge were 'partying'. It has impact at a measurable level because it was lots of people at once. People shared grief around the same thing and a share resentment towards government.

Of course individuals who couldn't get to their loved one any other given day feel sad and for some that impact is lasting and they stuggle thirr whole lives with it. But it doesnt create measurable change across society in the same way as it would have a myriad of causes that are much more individual and a scattered timeframe.

I feel very sad for anyone prevented from seeing a loved one during thier final hours for whatever reason and cant think why you would pick at people expressing grief.

Honestly I find it’s had more of an impact on parents than anyone else.

My child wasn't exposed to the news - despite working on the front line - we managed his expectations, told him what he needed/wanted and he certainly wasn't brainwashed or subjected to scaremongering

It wasn’t a few months, it was years of cancelled school trips, not being able to mix freely, lining up for stuff…My kids are born into privilege but it still pretty much ruined their secondary school years. Even worse for slightly older one that were at Uni.
And to what end? The older people I know would have rather carried on with normal life too, my very old Aunt who has since died used to say “what have i got to lose!” She was quite right, and also furious that her last few mobile years were curtailed.

OP, maybe your dd didn’t suffer at all due to having a garden and a mobile phone and being independent enough to be able to keep in contact with her friends, or get out and meet her friends for walks. I know children who were too young for a phone and social media, who had no garden, had no siblings, had parents who worked at home so got little to no attention during the day, and went for months barely speaking to another human until their parents clocked off from work.

My DD’s school told me that her year group (first year of middle school) were the first age group to start the school where a huge proportion of the children suffered from horrendous behavioural issues and obvious mental distress. Significantly and obviously more so than any year group prior to this. This was in 2022. Would could have caused a significant increase in these issues? This year group have been a nightmare the entire time they’ve been at the school and are getting worse the older they get. And the subsequent new intakes got progressively worse before starting to gradually improve again.

And lockdown wasn’t a few months in the sunshine and then back to normal. For a lot of children it was March to June and then a slow phased return. Then it was the summer holidays and there were still restrictions everywhere. So many kids didn’t go back properly until September, then there was a lockdown again after Christmas until March. During this entire time classes in schools were repeatedly closed due to outbreaks. My dd (who was 8 at the time) is well adjusted and resilient and even she got to the point where she burst into tears and refused to engage and said she hated her life. She became difficult and angry and felt despondent. She fortunately recovered well once schools started going back to normal but many of her peers have struggled ever since. Not to mention they can’t cope in a school environment anymore. They are now all 12/13 and so many of these kids are uncontrollable, a very poor level educationally, aggressive and violent. You’re lucky that your dd came out of this unscathed, OP. Many many children haven’t been that fortunate.

We are told regularly that unauthorised time off school is so damaging it results in fines and even a criminal record. But with Covid it went on for weeks and weeks and weeks and apparently it didn’t matter at all. The inconsistency of the position is annoying.
There is a reason the Covid inquiry is focusing heavily on children and young people - being cut off from schooling, friends, wider family, sports has clearly had an impact on many.

Good for you Mary Poppins.

I work in a school with challenging children. The impact of phones, and tablets, along with apps and social media have had a much bigger impact than covid. In my opinion we need to stop blaming Covid, it’s such an easy scapegoat, and really start looking at the damage these devices are doing to out children’s brains.

Probably a combination of both.
We bought a phone for my youngest, just turning 13 when Covid started so she could WhatsApp friends.
I think that was the start.
It was a real life line for chatting and she had long animated chats with her gang which definitely helped her keep connected.
Similar story with my boys who had PS4 for set times to have catch ups.
It was invaluable for them.

However I do think it has contributed to much greater attachment to their phones and I am the same too.

Friends who are teachers in both primary and secondary schools report the same as above, that so many children are struggling still.

My children went to very academic private schools and the teachers were hugely focused on maintaining standards and kept the pressure on them throughout, so the transition back academically wasn't difficult.
I am so grateful that they did as so many didn't and the children have taken the hit.

I don’t think a lot of us really understood the impact it had on younger people. My son recently told me the deep depression he suffered a few year’s ago (a very worrying time) was connected to lockdown (he was about year 9). I had no idea it was that (thankfully after counselling and time he is back). There was me actually enjoying lockdown for the clean air and traffic free roads and my son was slowly falling apart 😢.

We spent months telling them there was a virus in the world that could kill them, masks were essential etc and then suddenly the world opened up again and ‘oh yeah it’s ok now’. If that doesn’t screw you up a bit mentally what will?

I personally thought the lockdowns were anti human and am not remotely surprised at the impact they've had on children and young adults.

Yes as I pointed out if you were born in 2003/2004 then this is exactly what happened to you

Its different if all rhe children are off together and miss athe same topics rather than a few children missing several different topics

I didn't tell my children that. I managed what they were exposed to.