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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teens with zero desire to travel

194 replies

LyricalBoudicca · 15/03/2026 00:45

Bit concerned that my 2 teens never express a desire to travel ever (NB they go abroad with me frequently but that’s always been down to me). They remind me of my grandparents who hardly ever left the county they grew up in which was probably due to lack of financial means. If I die I can see them perfectly content never to initiate a holiday. Has anyone else got teens like this? Or do mine have an unusual lack of curiosity?

OP posts:
Fizbosshoes · 16/03/2026 08:58

Everynamehasgone99 · 16/03/2026 08:49

It really does.

Can you expand on this please

Parky04 · 16/03/2026 08:59

My DS is 26 and has never owned a passport. He has no intention of travelling abroad. We, on the other hand, travel abroad frequently!

JellyCatsOnToast · 16/03/2026 09:08

Everynamehasgone99 · 16/03/2026 08:49

It really does.

What about the people in the countries you travel to, who can’t or don’t travel themselves? That means you think you’re inherently better than them, too. It comes across like using people in that case, and not respecting them at all. It means you are better than 99.996% of people who’ve lived because you’ve got on a plane and travelled.

It’s just not true. And evidently people wear it like a badge of honour rather than being genuinely interested, it seems.

dottiedodah · 16/03/2026 09:20

I am the same! We have travelled US/Canada /Europe .But going far East or Australia just not bothered .Partly price restrictions /part worry about health issues .We have travelled extensively here ,and The Tower of London /Stonehenge /Edinburgh Castle are all second to none in terms of history and culture.Small Museums are good too

insomniacalways · 16/03/2026 09:27

I lived in Canada for 18 months after uni but otherwise have not travelled extensively - I'm 47 as an adult I have probably had 10 foreign holidays and other than Canada no long haul. My kids have had two foreign holidays with me and the eldest had a school trip to the battlefields of WW1, her choice. I like being in foreign countries, love other cultures but I am not a massive fan of being a tourist and it's possible rubbed off on my kids - we explore a lot outside in this country, and they are very socially conscious kids. We have close freinds of lots of nationalities living in a very multicultural area.

Sladuf1 · 16/03/2026 09:33

Mama2many73 · 15/03/2026 08:53

I have many friends who have been to exotic countries but have never left the resort, sometimes choice, sometimes safety/advice!
I really dont understand why you pay so much to stay within a hotel resort, when you could experience basically the same, easily and much cheaper, closer to home.

Classic example of this for you and others who get this far to read it. My Mum always wanted to go to Egypt and see the pyramids and sphinx at Giza and see a bit of the Red Sea coast. She and my stepfather went to Sharm el Sheikh in 2006 if I remember rightly. Didn’t see any of the sights she wanted to go to Egypt to see. Stayed in the resort mostly. Went out to look at a few shops on their last day and that was it.

When she got back off holiday I asked how she found the pyramids etc and found out she hadn’t seen them, I caused just a bit of an upset with my reaction because it was largely down to my stepfather, who is a lazy bore. He piped up about, “people go on holiday to chill out,” which in his case meant sleeping in the shade all day, stuffing his face with junk food and chugging a drink. He was stumped when I replied, “in which case why go all that way and not just have another Spain or Greece holiday like you usually do?”

I still can’t believe she went all that way to a place she had always wanted to go, to see particular sights and never saw them. Bloody ridiculous.

Sladuf1 · 16/03/2026 09:47

I was similar to the OP’s children. Fortunate enough to have been taken abroad every year from about 1989-1998 and then 2000-2003 when growing up - Spanish islands, Greek islands and Canary Islands. Holidays were mostly sitting around the pool or beach all day type affair - boring after a few days, going stir crazy by day 8 but we still have another 5 nights! We went to see a museum and some ruins in Crete in 2001 because I was old enough to complain about wanting a break from the old routine by that point.

I refused to go on a family holiday after I turned 17 and it caused quite a few arguments. I didn’t go abroad then for another 16 years, partly because I worked in the education sector in my 20s and the prices during times I could have gone were prohibitive. I have no regrets.

Tink3rbell30 · 16/03/2026 09:56

This is fine. Everyone is different and likes different things. Travelling/holidays aren't something everyone has to do.

Breadandsticks · 16/03/2026 10:03

I’m an adult in my 30s and have had very little desire to travel. I think we forget that everyone is different, and difference also means we don’t all want to be adventurous and travel the world. And we don’t all have to be.

Ive traveled for work, I travel to see friends that live abroad or if I’m invited, but I will never really book a holiday impromptu. I have the annual family holiday and that works for me.

I read lots, do sooooo much in my immediate community, live in a busy city with lots of people and have friends from all over. There are so many ways you can expand your knowledge of other cultures. Plus I speak 3 languages.

I agree, nothing beats being in another country and seeing the culture for yourself. But there are plenty of ways to be educated.

Needmorelego · 16/03/2026 10:08

Everynamehasgone99 · 16/03/2026 08:49

It really does.

Can you explain why?
I am very curious to your thinking.

StrongandNorthern · 16/03/2026 10:14

LyricalBoudicca · 15/03/2026 01:05

No but they have both have the view that people make too big a thing out of going on holiday in general. I genuinely think they see no value in the whole exercise. I suppose I’m a bit sad that they are too content in their small world.

Maybe 'be careful what you wish for'.
'Too content in their own small world' - so, they are happy, and safe.
That's worth such a lot, and not the place in which all teens find themselves.

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:16

RogueFemale · 15/03/2026 00:51

It really does expand the mind, though.

Yes, if it's to explore the pyramids or visit Petra, or a Kenyan safari, etc., but not if it's an AI in Magaluf!

Fizbosshoes · 16/03/2026 10:29

I think its a bit snobby to say travelling makes you a better person. Obviously it gives you experiences and expands ones own knowledge in a more practical way than maybe reading or watching a documentary.

But for lots of people cost will be a prohibiting factor, on MN there are always people who claim going abroad is cheaper than staying in the UK or someone who trekked in the himalayas for 10 days for £150. But in real life even doing a very basic holiday abroad (backpacking, staying in hostels etc) is still going to involve flights, potentially visas, sometimes tourist taxes, spending money once you get there etc, its not something everyone can afford, or they might prioritise their spending elsewhere.

Ive probably been to about 14 countries, all in Europe or Africa, on a mixture of holidays (camping, villas, hotels, hostels, trekking, safari etc) , DH is far more well travelled - he did most of his travelling before we were together, and has been to all the continents and more off the beaten track.

Do I think hes a better person than me, because of that? No, he is more well travelled, and possibly better at geography, that is just one aspect of him as a person.

Vaxtable · 16/03/2026 10:29

RogueFemale · 15/03/2026 00:51

It really does expand the mind, though.

Tosh, you don’t have to go travelling abroad to expand your mind

Vaxtable · 16/03/2026 10:32

Let them be. You don’t have to go travelling abroad

I never went travelling, yes I have been abroad occasionally, but most of my holidays and travel are in this country

its done me no harm

Not everyone wants to travel

godmum56 · 16/03/2026 10:32

EmeraldRoulette · 15/03/2026 21:58

This thread feels like progress

I've been on this site for far too long 😂 and I remember saying that I don't really travel and lots of people got very cross with me! Like I was committing some sort of sin.

I have travelled a bit, (more than a bit if you can't work, which I don't ) but I suspect the ones who think it has amazing essential mysterious "understanding other cultures" value wouldn't think much of where I travelled. I've always felt there was an inherent snobbery people who think travel is "essential".

"understanding other cultures"

More like understanding other tourist industries!

True story from a friend of mine. part of a tour from a cruise was to go out and see a village. Fair enough its a nice money maker for the villages. They arrived to see villagers hand tilling the fields, were offered refreshments and given the tour. They overstayed in the gift shop (again made by villagers and sold by villagers) and came out to find that the field workers had downed tools and vanished until the next tour turned up!

VegQueen · 16/03/2026 10:33

I didn’t really enjoy holidays much as a teenager because I didn’t have the best family relationships and also they were not really aligned with my interests. I really enjoyed holidays and travelling in my late teens - I planned a trip myself with my Mum and sister when I was in sixth form and even more once I started going with friends and did a 3 month solo back packing trip after uni and absolutely love all kinds of holidays now, so I wouldn’t assume how the feel now is how they will feel forever.

godmum56 · 16/03/2026 10:34

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:16

Yes, if it's to explore the pyramids or visit Petra, or a Kenyan safari, etc., but not if it's an AI in Magaluf!

even then you will be shown an arranged situation. You will learn more bout the history of eg Petra by using decent websites.

Happytaytos · 16/03/2026 10:36

Everynamehasgone99 · 16/03/2026 08:49

It really does.

How so?

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:37

ObelixtheGaul · 15/03/2026 11:14

I think there's a lot of truth to that. I know people say 'it's not the same' when we mention seeing it on TV and the internet, but from their point of view, they are used to seeing it all in real time, being done by their peers.

Foreign travel was way more exotic to me when all I had seen apart from books was Cliff Mitchelmore sat behind a desk showing pictures of exotic destinations, and later Judith Chalmers and Michael Palin. It was so much more of a mystery.

Young people today get to see the world vicariously far more than I did. When you are bombarded with it, I'm sure there's an element of feeling you don't actually need to go there.

Very valid point. I didn't go abroad until I was 24. My parents never took me abroad for holidays, in fact, we didn't even have UK holidays. In the 70s and 80s I always viewed the TV holiday progs (Wish You Were Here and BBC's Travel Show) as something magical and never thought I'd be able to experience/enjoy foreign travel. It was always something that "someone else" did, not us. Pictures/videos were hard to come by - yes, there were little travel guides and you could borrow bigger books from the library, but it all looked "inaccessible" and that's want gave it a kind of magic about it all.

All that changed when I met DH. He'd already been bitten by the foreign travel bug and had been on foreign holidays with his family a few times. His father had been in the RAF so he'd been born abroad in a RAF base and his father (sometimes with mother, sometimes alone, sometimes with his too as a chold) had lived in various foreign countries (RAF bases). When he left the RAF, his foreign experiences meant he had the "bug" and they started having holidays abroad as soon as it became more widespread and affordable in the 70s! We hadn't been together long and he wanted to go on holiday with me instead of his family (obviously!) and I took the plunge. Never been on a plane before, but he had lots of experience via his family (although he'd never been abroad without them), so we muddled through everything together and had a brilliant first holiday - just the Med but it was a learning experience especially for me). Very quickly, we graduated to the US, Canada, Kenya, Egypt, Israel, Turkey, Gambia, Greece, etc. Within 3 or 4 years, we'd become seasoned/experienced travellers and we were loving it! I was experiencing all the places I'd seen on the TV programmes that I'd regarded as "outside my league". The only limitation we had was a very restricted amount of annual holidays from work. We both lived at home, so we weren't paying stupid rents and other costs (but both paid our "board", and were both working full time in decent jobs, so we had the money. We certainly "filled our boots" for a decade or so, before we finally settled down to marriage, family, buying a house etc. For us, foreign holidays were "our" special time together, all the better for seeing many of the World's top attractions/sights together.

Our DS is completely different, first foreign holiday at 2 years old, then "med" style holidays every year (or two per year) alongside UK holidays. It's just "normal" for him, and he regularly now goes away with various different friend groups for Euro city breaks, beach holidays, short breaks for European football matches or Grand Prix races etc - he thinks nothing about it - just buys a flight and an air BNB just like he's having a UK trip. I've often asked him if he wants to go to the "big" sights like Egypt, Grand Canyon, etc., but he just shrugs "meh" and says he can see them on the internet, pictures, videos and even 3D/immersive experiences, so doesn't see the point in actually going! Maybe if he had a special friend, it'd be more of a "joint experience" but he just doesn't seem bothered.

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:42

godmum56 · 16/03/2026 10:34

even then you will be shown an arranged situation. You will learn more bout the history of eg Petra by using decent websites.

Yes, NOW that's the case, but it wasn't in the 80s when there were no websites! But even so, no matter how much you can see it in pictures or on video, seeing the "big" sites in person takes your breath away more. Photos/videos simply don't do justice to Petra, the pyramids, Grand Canyon, Niagara falls etc. Maybe a 3d/immersive/VR simulation may get you close, but we didn't have that either in the 80s! Also a proper local guide is always better than a book or website - someone who can actually show you things in person, explain the purpose of something, explain exactly what happened in a particular place, room, etc - it's priceless and far superior to reading a book or webpage. Even with the best VR, you won't ever get the same "feeling" as being on a "Maid of the Mist" boat sailing close to the base of Niagara falls - the sounds, the "rumble", the mist, etc -you certainly don't get anywhere near by just reading a webpage!

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:48

godmum56 · 16/03/2026 10:32

"understanding other cultures"

More like understanding other tourist industries!

True story from a friend of mine. part of a tour from a cruise was to go out and see a village. Fair enough its a nice money maker for the villages. They arrived to see villagers hand tilling the fields, were offered refreshments and given the tour. They overstayed in the gift shop (again made by villagers and sold by villagers) and came out to find that the field workers had downed tools and vanished until the next tour turned up!

Edited

Sadly I agree with how foreign travel has morphed into what it is today. Back in the 80s, when you stepped off a plane in a different country, you actually felt the difference. You felt the different culture immediately. You really felt in a different country. Currencies were different. Cars were different, shops were different, restaurants were different, markets were different, people were different. In places like Egypt, Gambia, Kenya, you really felt like you were stepping back in time.

Nowadays, it's all the same. Yes, there are still some "authentic" things but now very few indeed. And yes, the awful pretend "authentic" villages, etc - just like fake Disneyland attractions. The same chain shops and restaurants you get in the UK, the same cars, the same "mix" of people, etc. There's something not quite right about getting served by a Geordie in what's supposed to be an authentic Greek restaurant! Or seeing "nice" BMWs parked round the back of an "authentic" Turkish market!

I can understand why people today don't get the same excitement/buzz about foreign travel.

godmum56 · 16/03/2026 10:51

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:42

Yes, NOW that's the case, but it wasn't in the 80s when there were no websites! But even so, no matter how much you can see it in pictures or on video, seeing the "big" sites in person takes your breath away more. Photos/videos simply don't do justice to Petra, the pyramids, Grand Canyon, Niagara falls etc. Maybe a 3d/immersive/VR simulation may get you close, but we didn't have that either in the 80s! Also a proper local guide is always better than a book or website - someone who can actually show you things in person, explain the purpose of something, explain exactly what happened in a particular place, room, etc - it's priceless and far superior to reading a book or webpage. Even with the best VR, you won't ever get the same "feeling" as being on a "Maid of the Mist" boat sailing close to the base of Niagara falls - the sounds, the "rumble", the mist, etc -you certainly don't get anywhere near by just reading a webpage!

I was talking about now, because the OP is talking about now. People might enjoy going on a Maid of The Mist but I can't see how it broadens the mind? I am absolutely not saying that people shouldn't travel if they choose to but if its not something you want to do then why do it?

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 16/03/2026 10:53

Some people are a bit wanky about travelling. Reminds me of inbetweeners 2.

godmum56 · 16/03/2026 10:55

Badbadbunny · 16/03/2026 10:48

Sadly I agree with how foreign travel has morphed into what it is today. Back in the 80s, when you stepped off a plane in a different country, you actually felt the difference. You felt the different culture immediately. You really felt in a different country. Currencies were different. Cars were different, shops were different, restaurants were different, markets were different, people were different. In places like Egypt, Gambia, Kenya, you really felt like you were stepping back in time.

Nowadays, it's all the same. Yes, there are still some "authentic" things but now very few indeed. And yes, the awful pretend "authentic" villages, etc - just like fake Disneyland attractions. The same chain shops and restaurants you get in the UK, the same cars, the same "mix" of people, etc. There's something not quite right about getting served by a Geordie in what's supposed to be an authentic Greek restaurant! Or seeing "nice" BMWs parked round the back of an "authentic" Turkish market!

I can understand why people today don't get the same excitement/buzz about foreign travel.

this absolutely. I was lucky in the 70's and did get to go travelling because of my husband's job. We did very little tourist stuff because he was mostly at work and yes there was a massive difference between the places I saw and being at home.