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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my work would like me to leave?

3 replies

Workplaceworrier · 14/03/2026 22:08

I’ve been in my job for a few years now and I’m starting to get the feeling they don’t really want me there. A few things have happened during my time that just don’t sit right with me, but I don’t know if these are the sort of things that happen in workplaces and you just have to get on with it.
On my first day in the job, one of my colleagues who I had met at one of the interviews, told me that I wasn’t the first choice and that the team manager had preferred someone else.
I tried to put that to the back of my mind and just focus on doing a good job.
Fast forward to when I was on maternity leave. I tried to arrange some keep in touch days with my manager at the time, but my messages were ignored so they never actually happened.
Before returning, I requested some flexible working arrangements. These were agreed in an email, but when I actually came back my manager said she had changed her mind and suggested I go part-time instead if I wanted flexibility. At that point it was too late to have that conversation as my DC was already booked into full-time nursery and we had paid for it.
There have also been a couple of occasions where I’ve been forgotten on important team messages, particularly when more senior people were involved, which meant I didn’t get credit for things I had worked on.
For context, I’ve never had any negative feedback about my work.
I now have a new manager, old manager still works with us but has a more senior role. My relationship with the new manager is very good, but I still don’t feel comfortable raising this with them.
Am I being oversensitive, or do these things sound a bit off?

OP posts:
PropitiousJump · 14/03/2026 22:16

It does sound as though communication is poor, but I wouldn't go so far as saying it sounds like they want rid of you. You say you've been there 'a few years' - if they'd never wanted you in the first place (due to being second choice) they'd have 'managed you out' long before now.

You've been messed around with flexible working - sadly, that's all too common nowadays.

Not getting credit for your work - again, sadly all too common.

As you have a good relationship with your present manager, I think it's worth raising it with them - pick your battle, though. If the ship has sailed for the flex working, let that one rest, and have a conversation about 'raising your profile' - i.e. making sure you get credit for your work.

Overall, it sounds as though you've settled for this job rather than it being a positive for you, so it could be time to start looking elsewhere, in an unhurried, making-sure-it's-a-really-good-opportunity sort of way.

Holdonforsummer · 14/03/2026 22:19

With respect, it sounds like you need to start fighting your own corner a bit more. I would have pushed back on these things, not just accepted them.

Workplaceworrier · 14/03/2026 22:28

Thanks for feedback. I was really excited about the job and I enjoy the work I do but the rest of it has been bringing me down. I’m not someone who wants to push back very much, but clearly it’s causing me to be walked over a bit so I need to.

OP posts:
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