To want to message other people

[Datingagainagain]

My partner of 15 years broke up with me and now I am the primary parent of my tribe. The break up began at Xmas with him stringing me along until about a month ago.

I am prioritising my kids, becoming financially stable and work. My esteem has taken a bashing - this is an understatement. I was heartbroken. I strongly suspect my ex cheated which has been horrible as I just can't trust anything he has said. Otherwise... I am feeling ok.

I don't know if it's because I have been affection starved for so long, but I really feel keen to get back on the scene (it's been so long I don't even know what to call it) I know it's very early days, I'm certainly not looking for a partner. But for some reason I feel like a bit of connection/ flirtation could be somewhat healing.

AIBU? And if I'm not where do I start? I'm scared of online dating, putting photos out there seems scary and I'm scared my ex or his friends might see and fear I'll get grief despite him not wanting me anymore.

You sound far too vulnerable to put yourself out there yet. Focus on healing, probably for some time. Online dating is just as likely to chip away at your self-esteem as to enhance it. I think you have to feel fairly robust to negotiate it.

I disagree, online dating was a healing experience to me. But I was looking for sex, exploring new things and talking to different people. Online dating is great for that. However, if the OP is looking for affection, consistency or a partner, in this case don't go near online dating!! It will be soul destroying.

If you want some fun so harmless flirtation, maybe a few silly dates, bit of casual sex then go for it. I wouldn’t do it expecting anything remotely serious though, it’s far too soon. Also don’t do it as a way to build up your self-esteem, that’s a disaster waiting to happen! OLD can be brutal, you need to go into it feeling confident in yourself.

My ex left for another woman and I found so much comfort in talking to men on dating apps, being found attractive, dating and just being distracted from the utter shit if it. Go for it!

You're not unreasonable ot want to get out there and have some flings. Love that for you. Go have fun!

I can understand you not wanting to go on dating apps though. They weren't so much of a thing 15 years ago and the idea terrifies me. I haven't been single in almost 20 years and if I ever became single, I'd give them a wide berth

If get some friends together, go to some pubs and meet someone the old fashioned way.

Good luck and stay safe ❤️